5 Steps To Working With My Mental Health

After taking a week away from work to help with my mental health and life pressures, I felt the urge to write a short article. So here goes...

As part of my healing journey of trying to work with, deal with, and figure out the best path for my recovery, I have learnt that speaking out is an essential aspect. Therefore, I am sharing my ongoing experience. I am keen to support other people who are going through similar life worries and stresses that they feel that they cannot escape from.

...was by far one of the most mentally straining years of my life. Over the years, I have suffered from my mental health although I have never truly dealt with it. I would previously numb, push away, and run from the intrusive thoughts until they become unmanageable. So 2021 was one of those unmanageable years, and this time I didn't numb and run. My personal road to recovery is taking shape and honestly, I am nowhere near the end, as life and recovery is an ongoing climb, but just for today, I am better.

For some background... my family, close-knit friendship group and I were recently faced with the loss of several souls. By the end of 2021, I lost three close friends, two to suicide, and one from a tragic drowning accident. That year also included illness within my family and the loss of my Grandfather after his long battle with MS. It was like the world had just fallen from under me and I wasn't sure what to do. As you start coming to terms with a certain loss and start the grieving process, it then happens again, and again, and then again. Nothing prepares you for this, it comes out of nowhere, and just like that, they are gone...

Now the aim of this post isn't just for me to express my thoughts, it is to provide a space to allow others to reach out and to not feel alone, with the help of my background. So if there is anyone out there like me or in a similar position, my suggestions below may help you in your own recovery.

1. Talk to friends and family

I can't stress this enough. After I lost someone very close to me, I immediately started by asking myself how could I have changed this situation, could I have done more, what if I spoke to them more, what if? Now as much as this is a natural reaction, it is very unhealthy. I found that the best way to deal with these thoughts and feelings is by opening up to family and friends. Our friendship group has adopted this method and have become a strong support network that constantly checks in on each other. We are honest with how we are feeling and it is a safe place for us to be heard, listened to and to provide guidance. You can get through a lot just by speaking out, it is like shining a light onto an object in the dark, you can see it, you can examine it, you know it's there even when the light isn't shining on it. It becomes a real thing, not just a dark corner in your mind.

My family is no stranger to life's ups and downs and we are all open to different methods of help. After speaking with my Mum and Aunty who have both used the next step successfully, I decided to try Hypnotherapy myself.

2. Hypnotherapy

For those that don't know what it is: "hypnotherapy utilises?the heightened awareness of the hypnotic state?to help you focus on a problem more deeply." Firstly you have to accept this method. If you do not believe its powers then you simply won't benefit from it. I have had three sessions with Shaun Brookhouse (I will put links below). My mission with Shaun was to help me with my coping methods and find healthier options for dealing with everything that happened last year. A typical session would start with why are you here..?

My reason was to stop using alcohol as a vice to block out my feelings. I wouldn't wake up and drink or feel the need to but I would drink after work almost daily. This was purely to take up time in my day so I couldn't think of all the bad stuff. Since these sessions, I only drank three days over the Christmas period, to be completely truthful, I did slip back into old habits on new year's eve and my birthday in January however as of today I am on day 15 of sobriety and I have never felt better. The best thing is that I have had no urge to drink whatsoever, and I feel that I could just drop it completely. This is crazy because if you know me, then you know I love a pint!

Shaun also deals with weight control/management, stress management, anxiety conditions?(e.g.?stage fright, flight anxiety, general anxiety disorder, blushing, psychological skin conditions, and phobia treatments), and general?performance enhancement?issues (e.g.?sports, business, and educational) but this is only the slither of what he can help with. Starting his career in 1989, I can say that he has most likely helped with nearly every issue that you have come across.

3. Talk to a Mental Health Professional

Firstly, I would like to give a huge thank you to Interquest Group (ECOM), Joe Parker, and Rob Sugden. Without the help of these guys, I would of most likely left work / been fired. A lot of businesses that I have previously worked for had little empathy and no mental health support which would lead to feeling like I had to cover up how I was feeling.

After a few weeks work realised that something was up and we then spoke in confidence. I made them aware of my current situation and they supported me throughout the last year. They passed me the details of a "helpline", which following a couple of chats, I realised it wasn't working and that the people didn't quite understand me or my position. I mentioned this to ECOM and they went a step further and set me up with a Mental Health Nurse (again I will put links below).

Gill is an Employee Wellbeing Coach and Mental Health Nurse who supports organisations to provide emotional and psychological support to their members of staff in times of personal and professional challenges. My personal opinion is that she does just that, we try and speak once every two weeks. She does not use your standard methods, we do different exercises each time and I even get homework. I must say that I haven't done homework since my school days and I find it very hard to do now, so we normally just talk it through when we are on a call. She understands my problems and helps me to put them in a different light like no other therapist has done for me previously.

IF YOU ARE A BUSINESS LOOKING FOR SUPPORT FOR YOUR STAFF, PLEASE SPEAK TO GILL!

4. Meditation

I spoke briefly about meditation in my previous article "How I Have Exercised My Mind & Body Throughout The Last Lockdown" if you missed it go give it a read. This is an essential part of my daily routine. I try and meditate every morning, and before I go to sleep. If I am unable to sit and meditate, I will listen to meditation music whilst doing tasks, like showering and I will take some deep conscious breaths. This gives me time to shut off, be present and more aware of how I am feeling before I proceed, there is nothing quite like it. Even 10 - 20 minutes a day where you are just thinking about your breath will help you massively. It may seem impossible and crazy to some people, however, if I can do it, even with ADHD, anyone can. Your mind is constantly running at 100mph trying to work, analyse, deal with grief, battle your mental health issues, to-do lists, and expectations then meditation allows you to stop and focus on what is more important. The key with meditation is consistency, it's the same with anything... if you are consistent it will work. There is no wrong way to meditate, you do not need to be barefoot, cross-legged in a certain position or place, it can happen anywhere for any amount of time. Just focus on your breath.

5. Stop drinking and creating new habits

The first step to this is acknowledgement, once you have acknowledged that there is a problem, then the problem can be solved. Secondly, hold yourself accountable, I did this by telling people. So if I did drink then someone will have a word with me to remind me that I said that I wouldn't drink. Thirdly, find a drink that you can substitute for alcohol, I have gone with lemonade and squash (cordial for the northern folk) or even "diluting juice" for the Scots, which I found hilarious when my Scottish pal told me this one. This is hard when I have such an active group of friends and also run events in Manchester.

So I have tried to distance myself for the time being. I will still attend the main social events however I no longer join the casual mid-week gatherings at a pub/bar. Instead, I have filled my time with lots of new things but the main ones include: drawing, redesigning the house, restoring furniture, hikes and looking after my newly found love for tropical fish!

From the tender age of 15, I have been out and partying with friends however I am now on a journey of rediscovery, as I have outgrown myself, and it is like the light has been turned back on and I am moving forward instead of up, down, right and left. I have the key and determination to discover this next stage and I'm generally excited to push things forward.

So here is 2022, the year of change and being kinder to my body and mind.

For anyone that is struggling, please don't bottle it up, reach out. My inbox is always open for anyone that needs some help or even just a chat.

LINKS AND HELP

1. Hypnotherapy - https://hypnomanchester.co.uk/ - I can't recommend Shaun enough, if you ever want to book please reach out.
2. Mental Health Nurse - https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/idealcareoptions1966/ - I recommend businesses to utilise Gill's knowledge.
3. Instagram - The Mid 20's Guide To Grief (This is run by a very close friend) - This is for support to anyone who is dealing with grief which Ryan has set up a group chat and catch-ups with lots of people who are in similar positions.
4. Meditation App - https://insighttimer.com/en-gb - Great for beginners, there are lots of guided meditations and challenges.
5. Relaxing Music - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX1aJqrYHYkGX -