? 5 Steps to Tame Your Inner Critic ?
Do you also have this tiny voice in the back of your mind that creates nagging thoughts include things like:
?? “You’re stupid,”
?? “You’re not attractive,” or
?? “You’re not like other people.”
Some people have voices about their career, like:
?? “You’ll never be successful,”
?? “No one appreciates how hard you work,” or
?? “You are under too much pressure, you can’t handle this stress.”
Many people experience voices about their relationship, such as:
?? “He doesn’t really care about you,”
?? “You’re better off on your own,” or
?? “Don’t be vulnerable, you’ll just get hurt.”
Instead of creating a wide and open space for embracing our lives, our inner critic causes us to question our own worth and the persistent negative self-talk that keeps us stuck.
If you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, you would not have any friends left ??
So why do we keep doing it? ??
?? Here are 5 steps to Tame Your Inner Critic by Lisa Firestone Ph.D.:
1?? Try to identify what your critical inner voice is telling you. Acknowledge that this thought process is separate from your real point of view. Remember that your critical inner voice is not a reflection of reality. It is a viewpoint you adopted based on destructive early life experiences and attitudes directed toward you that you've internalized as your own point of view.
2?? One way to help you differentiate from your critical inner voice is to write these thoughts down in the second person (as "you" statements). For example, a thought like "I can't get anything right. I'll never be successful" should be written as "You can't get anything right. You'll never be successful." This will help you see these thoughts as an alien point of view and not as true statements. Notice how hostile this internal enemy can be.
3?? You can respond to your inner critic by writing down a more realistic and compassionate evaluation of yourself. Write these responses in the first person (as "I" statements). In response to a thought like, "You're such an idiot," you could write, "I may struggle at times, but I am smart and competent in many ways." This exercise isn't meant to build you up or boost your ego but to show a kinder, more honest attitude toward yourself.
4?? Remember not to act on the directives of your inner critic. Take actions that represent your own point of view, who you want to be and what you aim to achieve. Your critical inner voice may get louder, telling you to stay in line or not to take chances. However, by identifying, separating from, and acting against this destructive thought process, you will grow stronger, while your inner critic grows weaker.
5?? Understand that you are not alone!
Everyone has this inner voice so you're not that different from everyone else. Although we don't talk about this often, there are a lot of people who struggle with feeling "not enough"!
???
If you'd like to take this exercise (and more) with a group of like-minded people while enjoying DEEP & MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS then join us for the next CAMPFIRE CONVERSATIONS:
- Wednesday, February 6th
- 7PM - 9:30PM
- @ Hoame - Meditation Studio
?? Get your Tickets here: https://www.jankeck.com/campfire-conversations/