5 Steps to Regain Trust After Stepping on Your Cat

Oh, No! I Stepped on My Kitty!

There's probably never been a cat owner who didn't step on their kitty's tail or foot at least once. And, if you're like me, you've done it several times....per cat. Cats naturally weave and move in, through, and around our feet as their curiosity overtakes their sense of safety.

"What are you up to, Dad?" "Why so many plastic bags?" "Can I play in that box?" They may meow or quietly keep a well-disguised mental checklist as they reach the danger zone of our big, clumsy feet. Closer and closer they move with the stealth of a puma on the hunt. And then:

"MEOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!" The screech of pain rends the air! The realization of your heinous act causes you to jerk your foot upward–often sending you stumbling into and possibly stepping on another cat in your haste to avoid them.

Just so you know, now you've done it. The offended pet runs and hides, often hissing as they go, leaving you rightfully feeling awful. Your self-loathing matches your anger at the cat for getting in the way in the first place. No. Wait. You're the human. You know your cats, nay all cats, love to play this deadly game of tying the AT-AT's legs together to drop it.

As you calm down, you want your cat to know it wasn't an intentional act. You didn't do it on purpose. You'd never hurt your little furball. Still, you DID step on them. What do you do next? Are there ways to win back your cat's trust? The answer is "YES" and we'll explore the five steps you should take to ensure your cat knows you love them and never meant to harm them.

1. Soft and Gentle Words Speak Volumes

Cats have ultra-sensitive hearing, so yelling in anger at your cat or trying loudly to find where they've run off won't help. Trust me, your cat can hear you when you're talking quietly. Need proof? Try quietly opening a can of cat food in the kitchen, and see what happens.

The hearing range of the cat for sounds of 70 dB SPL extends from 48 Hz to 85 kHz, giving it one of the broadest hearing ranges among mammals. - PubMed

Calling out in softly spoken words, including the kitty's name will go much further to heal the terrible wound inflicted on their souls. OK, that's a little melodramatic. But you get the point. Quietly calling for your cat in sweet-sounding trills may do the trick. Remaining calm will help your furball do the same, as cats often feed off our emotions.

And whatever you do, don't be like Jack Nicholson's character in The Shining.

2. Make Sure You Only Hurt Their Feelings

Cats are emotional animals and hate to be made fools of. If you've observed your kitty after it falls off a counter ledge or slides into something running on a hardwood floor, you've likely seen them stop and lick their fur before sauntering away as if it never happened. Embarrassment is anathema to a cat.

Once you locate their hiding place, a quick observation should tell you whether they suffered any physical harm. Cats have high pain thresholds but serious injuries will reveal themselves. Check for crooked tails and crushed paws first, and if all seems 5X5, then you can relax and stop worrying about the vet bill.

3. I Will Hug Him and Squeeze Him and Call Him George

If your cat has experienced something like this before, it may be more difficult to get them back on friendly terms. But if these occurrences are few and far between, it shouldn't be a problem. Your cat knows your tendencies.

However, one of the worst ideas is to try and grab the cat and hold them before they're ready. Cats need time to process what just happened and compare it to past behavior patterns they've come across with you. The more times something like this has happened, the longer the response time needed.

Trying to interrupt this needed respite may only magnify the event in their minds. Calming words like, "I'm so sorry, sweetie," go a longer way toward healing than sweeping them into your arms and squeezing them like the Abominable Snowman.

3. Time Heals All Wounds

One of the best responses once you've dutifully apologized at least ten times in soft, dulcet tones, is to wait for their response. Remember, you violated trust–even if you didn't mean to. Giving them time to decide if you deserve forgiveness for this breach will go a long way toward happy, mutual feelings.

Why the extra time? A cat's brain has about 300 million neurons compared to a human's 21-26 billion. That's quite a size and processing ability difference. Imagine a modern home computer processing the same information as a Commodore 64 (Homework for Millennials: Look it up). Experts equate a cat's intelligence to a 2-year-old human child.

And when it comes to memory:

Cats excel at procedural and spatial memory and are known to retain their memories for 10 years or more. What’s even more fascinating is that cats can associate individual memories of places or events with the emotions they experienced at that time. They can remember experiencing fear, pain, or trauma, as well as positive emotions like happiness or contentment. - BondVet

So, give them a little time to simmer down.

4. Let Kitty Make the First Move

Chess is a complicated game and is often decided by who made the first best move. Each piece works in harmony toward a single goal: Capturing the Queen. It takes years to become a chess master, and achieving that mark takes practice. Lots of it.

The same holds with your cat or cats. Inevitably, the dreaded accident takes place as they're lovingly coiling around your legs. And, in that moment, you may panic and do the wrong thing in your effort to restore the relationship ASAP.

But practice makes perfect, and each time it happens, it gets easier to learn how your particular feline will respond. Some seem completely unfazed and don't run off at all while others simmer for hours alone and away from you–keeping you in their purgatory.

But the best sign that your cat understands it was aberrant behavior and not a pattern is them coming to you of their free will. My favorite way to tell them it was an accident is to get down on one knee and lower my hand until it's dangling at the perfect height for rubbing their face.

With apologetic softness in my voice, I then call to them. And if they come and rub on my hand, I know all is forgiven. I can then pet them and give them a treat. It's a signal of their affection and trust when they come to the one who hurt them.

5. Take Precautionary Steps to Avoid Similar Occurrences

If you notice that you step on your cat's tail or foot when putting away groceries, cleaning a closet, or whatever activity leads to the most accidents, take care to be more observant of your cat's whereabouts during those times. Perhaps place a sticky note on the cabinets or refrigerator or always turn on the closet light before entering that space. A little prevention yields great rewards.

It may be as simple as removing your shoes or taking time out to greet and love your cats before tackling your task. If they feel you've met their love or play requirements, they will be less likely to wend around your pantlegs in danger of that "YEOWCH" moment.

Put Yourself in their Paws

When these unavoidable accidents do occur, it's critical to understand that your kitty only knows they've been hurt by you. They may have the memory of it happening in that space previously, forming a connection, but the first time it happens will be hardest on you both.

Remember, cats are notorious for being around their owner's feet, quietly rubbing their cheek's scent glands. Think about it from the cat's perspective. They're happy you're home from the store and are excited by the prospect of treats and boxes to play in.

They want you to know they love and accept you. And then, out of nowhere comes this giant clodhopper's shoe to wreck their plans and leave them scurrying for safety. Now, they've got to make sense of it all and try to maintain their feline dignity in the process.

How could you do this to them? Have you done this before? Did you yell at them when you stomped? All swirling questions you'll have to answer to regain their trust. And, a little tip: shaking a bag of treats and offering them a little bribe may help speed up the healing process.