5 Steps to Launch Curiosity: How to be curious about rejection

Have you ever felt rejected?

You missed out on a job promotion, business acquisition, or your manager gave you feedback on a project which made you doubt your ability. Maybe the book publisher said 'no' to that manuscript you have been pouring your heart, blood, and tears over for years.

I have found that in general, many people end up being immobilised in their own comfort-zone which in turn jeopardises their development. All for fear of failing and/or being rejected. That little voice in your head annoyingly whispers; 'There must be someone out there who is better than I am.' 'I'm not worthy.' 'I don't belong.'

Actor Jon Hamm said:

“Don't be afraid to fail. It's not the end of the world and in many ways, it's the first step toward learning something better and getting better at it.”

If you have ever seen a child learn to walk you know that before they walk they will wobble, they will stumble and they will fall, over and over again. Those looking on, celebrate every failed attempt and continue to cheer the child on. This very cheering on is what creates excitement, anticipation, curiosity and the energy to keep persevering. What has happened since that time? As adults, we are so scared to fail and be rejected that we just give up before we even try.

I believe that in leadership, we are only as good as, how willing we are to humble ourselves and recognise that we do not know everything. And we need to allow 'self' to put the ego down and admit that we are never too old to grow and develop further. I've always been one to love exploring new ideas and concepts, learning and solving challenges. Yes, I have stretched myself, but not stretched to the extreme. Now, let's be honest, who out there has not felt like this at least once in their career?

3 Characteristics for business growth

Business growth has been attributed to organisations having three key characteristics which need to be present at all levels;

• innovation
• imagination, and
• curiosity.

Entrepreneur, author and psychologist Dr Thomas Chamorro-Premuzic in an article titled 4 Reasons Why Curiosity Is Critical To Your Success is quoted as saying that curiosity is one of the essential qualities to successfully manage the complexity of modern life.

A Harvard Business Review Article titled Companies Value Curiosity but Stifle it Anyway, states that '65% of workplace employees surveyed felt unable to ask questions at work. Even more ironic, while 84% indicated that their employers encouraged curiosity, 60% said they also encountered barriers to it at work.'

Albert Einstein said:

The important thing is not to stop questioning; curiosity has its own reason for existing.

Curiosity is how it started

Over the past 30+ years, I have worked with CEOs, senior management and leaders in the private, public and not-for-profit sectors helping to support, equip, empower and transform their greatest asset - their people. I love to discover the 'magic button' in each person. That means, what makes them get out of bed in the morning? What brings them alive? I work with the individual to discover their strengths and working with leaders to maximize their workforce's expertise, talents, and strengths.

I mentioned earlier how for most of my career I have played it safe with regards to my own learning experiences. Curiosity is how it all started! I heard the term storyshowing that's right, not story 'telling', but story 'showing'. Curiosity got the better of me and I attended a one-day free event on 'Mastering Storyshowing for Influence and Authority' with Speakers Institute CEO and Founder Sam Cawthorn.

Having spent a huge chunk of my career listening, filming and sharing other people's stories, I decided it was time that I should dive into the deep end, and embark into some out-of-the-box and 100% out-of-my-comfort-zone personal development in (drumroll) . . . public speaking!

Three weeks ago I started the Protege Program with Speakers Institute. The Protege Program is an intensive 18-month curriculum based on industry expectation on the makeup of what makes a professional speaker. During the course, I will learn the intrinsic details of marketing, positioning, content development, and Intellectual Property ownership.

Was I scared? I won't lie... the answer is an absolute YES! The closer the start date, the more fearful I got (fear of the unknown). On the eve of starting the course, a quote popped up in my social media feed. Perfect words at the perfect time.

Curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. ~Walt Disney

On the first day, one of our coaches said 'be curious about rejection'. I have to be honest I had never thought of it that way. Each day thereafter, I played that quote in my head as a way to conquer any self-doubt. Fast forward three weeks and I have just completed 9 x 1-day intensives, plus a masterclass. Not bad for my first month. The journey has only just started, but I am curious about what lies ahead. As Sam would say #TheBestIsYetToCome

All my career I have been the one either behind the camera, encouraging others and providing them with the platform to share their stories. Three weeks on from starting the course, here I am producing my very first LinkedIn Pulse Article, creating my first vlog and my first teaching framework - 5 Steps to Launch Curiosity - How to be curious about rejection (see below).

5 Steps to Launch Curiosity

What have I learned about being curious about rejection? I've developed a five-step model that can assist you to turn rejection into a positive, and help launch your own curiosity or that of your teams. The following five-steps may seem obvious, but the reality is that most of us do not think of applying this methodology when we are stuck in our comfort zone. The five-steps are; ask, accept, assess, adapt, act.

ASK

• The first step if you experience rejection is to ASK for feedback. Yes, the ego maybe a little bit bruised, but the key here is to get better. You need to have an awareness of what you need to improve. Get feedback on which aspects/areas worked well, and which areas need to work on.

ACCEPT

• It is so easy to let our egos rise up and start making excuses, or to dispute with the person providing the feedback. The secret is to just say 'thank-you'.

ASSESS

• Now, this is the time for you to evaluate the feedback you have received. Be true to yourself. Be honest with yourself. Do you agree or disagree with the feedback? and why?
• Does the feedback align with your brand, with your core beliefs? This is important because you want to ensure you don't compromise who you are.

ADAPT

• At this point is where you apply the learnings from the feedback and make adjustments and alterations.

ACT

• Depending on what that feedback is related to, we need to act. Quite often we hear great insights from people, yet we don't do anything about it. So, don't procrastinate... ACT!

As a leader, I have a duty to the organisation and the teams I lead to become the very best version of myself. That requires me to stay on the cusp of innovation, curiosity, and imagination in all aspects of my life, whether personal, professional or spiritual. This month has been filled with many firsts.

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My aim:

?  To contribute towards leadership development through my learnings, 'aha' and kairos moments, challenges, and help other leaders reach their full potential.

? To help your organisation and business have the leading edge to transform your organisational culture and to help your people to flourish.

? To write in-depth about my professional expertise – challenges faced, opportunities seized, important trends, tips, and hints, case studies, frameworks, and stories.