5 Steps to Connect Authentically and Improve Your Odds to Close the Deal

Things that make you crazy... are usually things that bother you about yourself.

I learned a few hard lessons over the past couple of weeks, and though I am always learning and growing, sometimes those unexpected pangs of discomfort are harder to process as lessons right away.

She started the conversation with a pitch. I didn't even catch her name. But I listened for a while because we have a trusted mutual friend, and because I could hear the passion and excitement in her voice.

There is something about that kind of enthusiasm that gets me going; I love to hear the joy in the voice of a person who loves what she does. Maybe it's because that is most often missing; the majority of people I speak with every day have zero passion for what they do, and who they do it for.

I had to end the call, the timing was off because it was a weekend and I was spending time working on house projects with my family. Had she called another time, I probably would have been more receptive to her idea. As it was, I was a little annoyed, though I will call her back because I know she has something special going on with her business.

My first thought was that she had a great idea, contagious enthusiasm, and bad timing. Naturally, because I trust our mutual friend, I wanted to help her by giving her a few suggestions for her next pitch.

After processing for a few hours, though, I realized that part of what bothered me about our conversation was that I saw these annoyances in a couple of my own recent conversations.

I was all passion and enthusiasm, with limited expressions of curiosity in the person I was speaking to.

Bummer. It's pretty disappointing to know something like that about yourself, especially when you coach people in curiosity and active listening...

Five steps to connect authentically and improve your odds:

1. Do your research. Do some Google stalking before you call. Review the website, find an angle in a problem you can solve for the person. Dig a little, there's no reason to take more than 10 minutes to learn more about the person you're about to speak with. What is her background? What are her passions and her business? Do you have anything in common you can bring up comfortably in conversation?
2. Introduce yourself. "I'm Sarah Elkins, and I'm calling because ___ gave me your name. She said that you were working on ___ and I think I can help." Ask if this is a good time, or can you schedule a brief conversation soon.
3. Ask questions. Share what you know about the person or her project/business, and ask what problems she thinks she's facing in her project. Then ask if she is interested in hearing about how you can help. Listen more than you speak. Ask more questions.
4. Share a story about how you solved a similar problem for someone else, and offer to follow up with an email with details, and another phone call.
5. FOLLOW UP.

As I processed the suggestions I would make to the woman who called me, my thoughts went directly to a memory of a call I had just a week before, and I deflated. I hadn't followed any of these suggestions myself. Throughout the call, I found myself sharing my own stories, excitement, and enthusiasm for my product, without asking even close to enough questions of my potential client.

I get a lot of email and calls from local vendors when I'm organizing an event in their area, and I have yet to receive a message or call from someone who obviously visited my website for information prior to reaching out to me. It can take less than five minutes to learn a key detail that will make your sale a lot more likely.

Do you do that? Do you get annoyed by the behavior of someone, only to later recognize the behavior in yourself? How do you reconcile that?

The agenda for the next No Longer Virtual in Denver is relevant, the content is solid, and the facilitators are outstanding. I couldn't be more excited to meet the next #NLVtribe in Denver in 2018. Join us at No Longer Virtual in Denver on February 22 and 23, 2018.

Read more about one of the "6 'Can't Miss' Conferences for Entrepreneurs" according to Forbes magazine.

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Sarah Elkins is a professional coach and consultant, helping people and businesses improve their communication through the art of storytelling. She's also the President of Elkins Consulting, the company making a splash with small, face-to-face, affordable interactive conferences called No Longer Virtual.