Over-Apologising is harming your Credibility – Say This Instead ??

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Saying “sorry” for things that don’t merit an apology often stems from a desire to show respect, gain external validation or avoid conflict. And while it may seem harmless, it could be detrimental to your reputation.

Apologizing too much projects a lack conviction in your opinions, which may cause others to question your credibility, making you appear weak and insecure. It can also diminish the impact of a genuine apology in the future.

So, if you find yourself apologizing too often, consider shifting your language from apology to appreciation.?

By expressing gratitude instead of apologizing, you can leave a positive impression and improve your relationships with others. This simple tweak can have a ripple effect, boosting your self-image, enhancing your relationships, and helping to create a more productive and positive work environment.

Here are 5 “sorry”s we encourage our clients to drop – and what to say instead.

1. "I'm sorry that you have to help me so much"?

When you offer an apology for requiring someone’s help, it can imply that the act of helping you is a burden or inconvenience. This can diminish their willingness to help in future.?

What to say instead:?

? “I appreciate you taking the time to give feedback.”

? “Your support means a lot to me. I couldn’t have finished the project without you.”

This approach acknowledges the person's contribution and highlights the positive impact of their actions.

2."I'm sorry if I'm talking too much"?

?Apologizing for talking can detract from the content of your message and your ability to communicate effectively.

What to say instead:?

• “Thank you for listening. I appreciate the chance to share my ideas with you.”
• “Your willingness to hear me out means a lot to me.”

This way, you’re expressing gratitude for the opportunity to speak or share your thoughts. This approach is positive and appreciative, while still acknowledging the value of the other person's time and attention.

3. "I'm sorry if I'm being too emotional”

?By apologizing for expressing emotions you create a negative atmosphere and possibly discomfort for others, which is not conducive to building healthy relationships.

What to say instead:?

• “Thank you for listening and understanding my perspective. I feel strongly about this.”
• “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, so I appreciate your support.”

This shift acknowledges the other person's role in the conversation and expresses appreciation for their patience and empathy. It also validates your emotions as a natural and important part of the discussion.

4. "I'm sorry for the delay"??

Assuming the delay hasn’t caused major damage or inconvenience, apologizing emphasizes the negative and could imply that the other person’s time was wasted, making you appear unreliable or unprofessional.

What do say instead:?

• “Thank you for your patience.”
• “Thank you for waiting. I appreciate your understanding and flexibility.”

Rather than highlighting the delay, this shows that you value the other person's time and recognize their willingness to be patient and accommodating.

5. "Sorry I keep messing up"?

?Apologizing for small mistakes can suggest that you lack the capability or competence to perform well, ultimately damaging your self-esteem and leaving others feeling uncertain about how to respond.

What to say instead:?

• “Your guidance has been really helpful as I learn.”
• “Thank you for helping me be better at my job.”

By expressing gratitude for the other person's patience and support, it can help build a more positive and constructive conversation.

What about when someone makes you aware of a minor error in your work?

What should you do if someone points out a small mistake in your work? Employing the same concept, you might consider these alternatives:

• ?"Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I’ll make sure I address it."
• “Good catch, thanks for picking that up.”
• “Thank you for flagging that. Is there anything else I missed?”
• “Thanks for letting me know about that. I’ll update that now."?
• ?“Thanks for noticing. Let me fix it now.”

While apologies are essential when warranted, saying “sorry” too much can create a negative perception and make you appear indecisive or weak. By shifting your language from apology to appreciation, you show respect for others and their contributions, while also giving you confidence in your own abilities and ideas. It's a win-win approach that can benefit everyone involved.

[PS– This is from an article I wrote for in CNBC– view the article here ].

So what about you? Do you tend to default "sorry" for things that don’t merit an apology????

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If you enjoyed this article, you might find value in my LinkedIn Learning Course:?Nano Tips to Enhance your Communication . I share 10 tips in under 10 minutes to help you drive positive outcomes, deepen relationships and foster collaboration through how you communicate. You can access the videos for FREE by clicking?this link .?Enjoy!