5 Reasons You Should Never Aim to Be Perfect as a Coach

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Perfectionism is a trap.

For no other reason than it defines what “perfect” is. Anything defined creates an implicit limitation on what is possible. And what is truly possible is not something, any of us, can define.

Thus, perfectionism is a trap.

As a coach, perfectionism has multiple negative downstream effects on yourself and your people. Potential is many things, but it is never definable or even achievable (it’s a moving target). But many of us have held this false narrative our entire lives, and even if we can understand the downsides of perfectionism intellectually, it can still influence our behaviors on a subconscious level.

So the goal can never be to be perfect–it's about getting a little better each day, and supporting our player’s journey in that moment, the best way we know how.

Here are 5 ways a perfectionist mindset can influence how we coach to the detriment of ourselves and our people.

1. It Ascribes Higher Value to Winning

The perfect version of yourself doesn’t lose games.

That wouldn’t make sense, would it? But to play a longer-game where all the fruit of potential lay, it helps to release any meaning we ascribe to winning a game or being “a winner”. Perfectionism unconsciously transforms winning into the vision, despite your attempts to intellectualize otherwise.

Play the infinite game of development where “winning” is showing up and learning from each iteration.

2. It Minimizes Our Artistry

The perfect version of you doesn’t think outside the box.

In this space, knowledge becomes dogma. This happens at all levels, but especially in the professional game–a coach will submit to a certain method instead of following a gut instinct that might better serve their players. For example, physical periodization is a helpful framework to manage player workload, but sometimes it makes sense to scrap the plan and run some leadership sprints because you have a gut-feel that it’s what your players need right now.

The best answers for the problems in front us are already inside of you–trust your gut and your artistry instead of being a prisoner to dogma.

3. It Defines the Potential of the Underperformer

When a prospect doesn’t fit the mold to perfection, we implicitly define their long-term potential.

But we can never truly project what a player will become. You may think you have an idea, but you can never really know. There are realities at play and case studies to lean on, but if you let that circumstantial knowledge influence your long-term opinion of the player, you diminish the opportunity to support them right now.

It’s not your job to judge one’s potential–your job is to support them on their next step.

4. It Defines the Potential of the Special Talent

When a prospect does fit the mold, we implicitly define what a successful future looks like.

Again, we can never truly project what a player will become! You have no idea, but by projecting–you implicitly work on behalf of an outcome that is by definition self-limiting. Both the underperformer and special talent both are negatively affected when we define their potential.

Fully supporting their development is the only way to ensure they are able to pursue a potential that is far greater than our plans for it.

5. It Doesn’t Allow You to See (Or Celebrate) the Small Wins

The perfect version of you doesn’t see (or celebrate) the small wins of development.

Small wins, like art, can be seen as both surprising and inevitable, but most certainly worthy of celebration and our gratitude. These small wins give us the fuel to continue iterating and pursuing our potential through development. But a perfectionist doesn’t even see the small wins, and sadly, aren’t even able to celebrate if they hit the big goal.

When we become outcome-focussed, a symptom of perfectionism, it minimizes the joy of being in process, which ironically diminishes our ability to be our best selves.

Final Words

These articles are meant to support, but you should question everything I write.

The content can be useful, but not necessarily be your Truth. When anything becomes Truth, it can transform a helpful construct that can support my coaching development to something I must become perfect at. Everything should be questioned, and nothing should ever become dogma–including The Developer’s Way.

Because as soon as we say something “should be” a certain way:

1/ We crush curiosity

2/ We disable gratitude for what is

3/ We become outcome-oriented over process oriented.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to show up, support your players and get a little better each day.

But you also need to question everything you just read…

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