5 Reasons Why We Don't Succeed

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal...it is the courage to continue that counts."

-Winston Churchill

Why We Don't Succeed

When I was eighteen, I dropped out of high school. It was quite possibly the best mistake of my life. Within two weeks, the boredom had crept beneath my skin, so what did I do?

I said: "I guess I'll start a company." This was what launched me into a fifteen-year-long venture to succeed in business and marketing, video game design, film production, social media marketing, and so much else. However, I never quite succeeded. In fact, none of those projects made much. They were learning experiences that taught me a few fundamental things about not only myself, but among more than roughly 70 percent of us...

So, why do we fail to succeed?

1) We Give Up Far Too Early In Our Lives

There was a survey posted by Douglas Vermereen said that 70 percent of people fail to achieve their goals; they find a reason to leave. This is one reason why we do not succeed. Take this as an example: the human being has an attention span of roughly six seconds. A goldfish has an attention span of roughly eight seconds. This startling statistic brings to life some factors we must consider: why do we give up? Simple: we get bored.

Boredom is one reason I have found as the epicenter of laziness. When we are bored, we tend to find ways to fill the void. The average Zillennial (i.e. a fun word for those between "Millennials" and "Generation Z," or basically anybody in college at present in 2022) spends more than three hours a day on their phones, checking it at least every 5.5 minutes.

Why does this matter in context of failure? Well, simple: the human mind is constantly wired into distractions that take us on an ADHD-like whirlwind between a vast over-stimulation of the prefrontal cortex, where human cognition and reasoning dominates. In this sense, we do not give up or fail to succeed because we intend on it; we do not give up or fail to succeed because we are lazy. Rather, we are living in a world of distractions.

My Advice

When bored, do something productive. Learn something new, or do something beneficial for your life. Remember that work (nor hobbies) should dominate your lives. You have to find a way to keep yourself focused on the prize!

2) We Have Expectations We Cannot Meet

Sometimes setting the bar too high is not a good idea. We often see ourselves through an unrealistic or unfathomable lens. Today, with the manner in which the world is spinning (and with the speed of sound now whistling a deafening blow around our earlobes), we have to realize that a lot of our success can come from simply focusing on the smaller picture rather than the larger, chunkier goals we find within ourselves. What does this mean? Example:

You are trying to quit smoking. So, you go cold turkey.

Research has found that (and though this study represents one of many that all vary in their percentages) 95 percent of those who try to quit cold turkey are unsuccessful in their measures. So, think about this: if you were to try to simply ween down in smaller doses, would it be easier to succeed? Well, it did for me! I went from a pack a day to 10 cigarettes a day, and then 5, and then 1 or 2. I am now done with nicotine. The point? Do what I did: carry a metaphorical box of Nicorette gum at your disposal, but bring the cigarettes with you regardless, because there is no point in rushing your larger goals.

My Advice

Set "SMART" goals that are time-sensitive. Break your tasks down into smaller tasks. One thing you can do is draw a Venn Diagram and break down the larger picture into much smaller pieces. Write out checklists so you can check them off!

3) We Forget To Thank Those Who Help Us

When I got to Florida International University back in 2019 (and yes, I finally graduated this past month! Yay for me!), I realized I was well over the average maturity level of those who walk those barren halls (well, they are actually very decorated, but that is beside the point). I noticed that I was more prone to "mature" behaviors, such as thanking my professors for their hard work to teach me (despite my annoyances).

This is one thing I feel is essential to our success. I was able to do so much better in my classes, and I was also much less stressed out, simply because I had a mature-enough mindset to reach out to the professors at least once or twice a week to say: "Thank you for our time here; you are doing great." On occasion, I had to yell at them, or talk to their supervisors when a grade came out unfairly noted, but the point is simple: we can succeed by realizing that if we go the extra mile to thank those who help us achieve our goals and succeed in life, even when they are self-righteously overloaded with people complaining.

My Advice

The more you thank them, the more likely they are to forgive you. You cannot be "forgiven" when you fail to ask for an apology. If you can, thank those who have helped you succeed. It lessens the pain of the fall from grace when you do reach that point where you fail on your own accord.

4) We Find Our Failures As A Defining Attribute

When we fail, we become locked into a state of fault...we blame ourselves. This is an experience we all go through from time to time, but remember that this article was written with the title: "5 Reasons Why We Don't Succeed," not "Why We Fail," and that is my point: we often fail so often at something that we simply give up; we blame ourselves for our mistakes, and this is the worst mistake you can ever make.

If you find you are drifting into this realm, one thing you can consider is establishing less atmospheric pressure on you and you alone. I have found that when we lose at something, we immediately blame ourselves. But what is Dwayne Wade without LeBron James to back him up? Sorry, I am a Heat fan, but you get my point. We should not necessarily establish that there is ever a single person that "fails." This is not factual, nor it is realistic (nor is it healthy, nor should you go that to yourself), and this would lead many to blame their teams for their faults. Instead, try doing the below to get your mojo back!

My Advice

If you fail to succeed, take 2-3 minutes to whip out your iPhone or Android, or laptop, and jot down a few thoughts (whether a voice note or an email to yourself - something I have found very effective) about what went wrong. Do it within 30 minutes to one hour of the actual "lack of success" so you can document your emotions, and this will allow you to return to it the next day and do better!

5) We Simply Do Not Have The Time To Succeed

Lastly, even if you feel you have done everything correct, you may not have time.

This is normal. With the average American working 44 hours a week, and with that same demographic of individuals holding a job, a married life, and/or a family (or all three), we cannot always find the time to achieve our goals. This is something we all find from time-to-time; I really do not think I have ever met anyone who quite literally has no responsibilities unless they are a comatose patient, but remember that you are not alone.

My Advice

Focus on small goals and checklists. Break down the "success." Also, begin to blame no one (nor any function of the sort) for your lack of time. It is not your fault you have responsibilities. More than half of all Americans rent homes or apartments, meaning there is a large number of people who wish they could do something they cannot with the amount of time they have on-hand. Rather, try to spend an hour a day working on each task. If that does not work, do not worry. You are not alone!

In Conclusion

Well, this has been a fun journey! Feel free to Like, Comment and Share at your disposal. No one ever "fails," they just do not succeed. If you can begin to put that word: "failure" out of your vocabulary and begin to focus on smaller, more realistic goals and projects, you will simply not succeed if it does not get done. I do not blame myself for not succeeding in business because I learned so much in that time period. Now, I have an office at-home; I am working on finishing up my Master's degree; I am writing more than I ever was before. Does that mean I failed for fifteen years? No, because I learned from it.

I hope this has helped you find some peace! Be sure to visit me at www.Circle5Books.com and if you can, send this to a few people you know!