5 Reasons Why Body Language is Essential to Understand!

"60% of all human communication is nonverbal body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth." – Alex 'Hitch' Hitchens

I learned very early in life that more people speak with their bodies than with their words, meaning you can typically pick up on emotions, troubles, struggles, and even joyfulness by simply paying attention to the body and how it behaves.

I was speaking with one of the young bulls (my guy Ansar Mansoor ) earlier, and I cannot tell you how much joy it brings me to keep in contact with him! During our chat, we (per usual) started talking about everything from human connection to job interviews and ideas for careers. Funny thing is, I met this lad in one of my classes (Spring 2023, I believe) and from office hours to after-class chats, we connected on music, fashion, and the general trajectory of life. As our conversation progressed, we found ourselves talking about an eerie topic that is often overlooked: body language.

When I was a child, I used to be that strange kid in the corner of the room that was doing his best to 1) stay out of trouble (which was usually why I was in the corner) or 2) observe the room and figure out everyone's motives. As a kid, you don't always know what the 'grown ups' are talking about (until you get much older), but one thing that I picked up on...was body language. I would sit for hours and watch my family play games like spades, dominoes (or, bones), Uno, or even Monopoly...and pay attention to their body language in a way that I learned their 'tells.' Essentially, I could tell when they were about to make a big move, when they were bluffing, or when they straight up had nothing and accepted defeat. It came in handy when I extended my analysis from watching them play games to watching them live everyday lives. I would always sit, act like I am reading something, and just watch their body language. That typically told me everything I needed to know about the situations at hand--and what we would end up doing that day. I was sometimes curious of curveball behaviors that they would exude, but ultimately my awareness became a bit of a superpower when reading people and understanding the energy that I should bring to the room.

Some of us are good at noticing body language, while others may be a bit more obtuse...but allow me to share a few things that I have learned about the art of body language.

1. Seeing really is believing - Body language, although seemingly a very simple process, is actually an incredibly complex cocktail of emotion, security, and expression. We can tell a lot about the people we are around, the spaces we are in, or how the spaces are impacted by our presence when we pay attention to the body language of others within our social spaces. Everything from the amount of eye contact to facial expressions and posture and actually clues that we can use to measure the temperature of certain scenarios. I mean, think about it: if someone wants to fight you or wants trouble, we can typically tell that they are up to no good and would be best served to act accordingly. On the flip side, we can also use body language to tell when someone is more inviting, kind, or open to conversation. Think about the times that we are at the gym, the supermarket, or even a pub--we can usually tell people that are open to conversation and connection...and those who may want to be left alone. If we just open our eyes and pay attention to the body language of the people in our spaces, it is usually much easier to understand both the climate of the space...and people's intentions.
2. Attraction and interests - Body language is supremely key when dealing with relationships, especially those that are budding or quite new (such as meeting someone for the first time). Aside from the boneheads who simply ignore body language and continue to press as if everyone desires them, most of us spend ample time and energy trying to read the people that we first meet...but we must remember that this is a reciprocal process--and those people are trying to read us too. For some of us, that may mean that we need to assess our body language and understand that we may not be as kind, inviting, or approachable as we may believe ourselves to be. We must pay attention to our facial expressions, our posture, the tilt of our head, the openness of our stance, the gestures we exude, or even the direction of our feet! Those can all key indicators of interest (or dis-interest), and if we play our cards right, we will rarely have to deal with those moments of uncomfortability that stem from a lack of communication and understanding of bodily signals.
3. I got a feeling - Body language can be a wonderful thing, especially when it helps to open our hearts to the world and give our people an idea of what we are feeling inside. For example, I have a few friends at the gym I go. We are only gym friends, meaning we have never actually introduced ourselves by name, nor do we know anything about each other...other than our gym routines and such. I mention this because during my gym sessions, I am the guy with the sunglasses that is doing supersets like a madman and dancing like Bruno Mars during rest periods. The fun part about it (aside from the music video type dancing) is my friends can actually tell when I am in the zone...and the times when I may be sad or distracted. This is a lighthearted example as a reminder that our body language usually coincides with our moods, and that people notice those shifts--even when we don't mean to show them. Feelings can be complicated in a world that is set on dividing us, so body language can be a great way to notice a friend in need...or let our people know that we need them to ask more than "are you okay?"
4. Job interviews and meetings - An intimate understanding of body language can help all of us when thinking about job interviews, meetings, or general gatherings between people. An easy example I can offer is: I was once in a job interview and due to my awareness of body language, I could tell early on that I was not 'the candidate' that they were looking for. Although it can be annoying to know that we are not quite what the employer is looking for, it brought me a lot of peace to know where to place my energy going forward. When entering into job interviews or business meetings, we can pay attention to the body language of those in the room and that is usually a good indicator of the climate. We must also remember our own body language when we enter the room, as that too can be an indication of our intentions. If we really want the meeting to go well (or want the employer to hire us), we must make sure that we enter the room with the energy and presentation of a person that desires a successful meet. Not only can interviewers and business meeting members read the energy that we bring upon entrance, but we can also do the same in reading how open, guarded, or curious the members are. It is truly a game of chess, but even the best of chess players can have a 'tell,' and it is through that observation that we can learn how to navigate the interaction--based on the body language we encounter.
5. A superpower of simple creation - As plain as it's put, a careful understanding of body language can manifest as a superpower that not many will possess. Granted, everyone can and honestly, it's a bit shocking that more people don't...but remember that understanding body language and paying attention to signs/cues can be the difference maker in legitimately any situation that we find ourselves in. Think about how people who work for organizations like the Central Intelligence Agency (or even the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) for that matter) are trained to read people from the moment they encounter, down to every manner of connection, gesture, word, and remote bodily (re)action. They specialize in paying such close attention that they can even detect lies, betrayal, or shielded interests...just by observing a person. We may not all be governmental special agents, but that does not mean that we can't pay attention enough to give ourselves a higher chance of human understanding by simply paying attention to the body language that surrounds us on a daily basis.

The art of understanding body language has served me quite well in my current life of academia and business, primarily because I have been able to weaponize my awareness as a way to understand things that perhaps aren't said so readily. In fact, I tend to spend most of my time reading body language more than any book you can think of. This is because humans are emotional creatures and as such, we typically tell the truth with our bodies...even if our mouths run afoul. We are best served to pay attention to how people act, how they behave, and how their bodies respond to our presence...especially if genuine connection is what we desire. This is not an exposition to tell anyone to be deceptive with their language (verbal, body, or otherwise), but more of a reminder that we are all constantly sending messages with our bodies...but very few of us actually pay attention to what is being said. I am a firm believer that if more of us paid attention to the body language of others, the world would not be such a divided space.

Be aware of body language, understand how people exude their emotions, and use that as a tool to ensure that everyone is most comfortable in the space. There are easy tells that can help us to know when it's time to pursue, back off, or get the hell out of someone's way. All it takes...is a little bit of attention to detail and understanding of body language.

Prosper, good folks.

-Dr. Savant ??

Hire your favorite writer & consultant and Book today via Fiverr ?