5 Reasons People Fail at Networking

You've been there before, you attend a networking event or maybe you had the opportunity to meet this person one on one over lunch or a beverage.  Either way you feel that you hit it off and you both really seemed excited to start building a relationship where you would be able to help each other out by sending each other some referrals or provide introductions.

You get back to your office and enter that person into your database where their name sits until you hear from them again in the future, hopeful that they will reach out with an introduction or referral, anything.

One month passes by and you see this person again at the networking event or some other event and you two give each other the nod of hello, maybe you two even shake hands and chat for a few minutes.  Again, you are hopeful that they will reach out to you.

When nothing seems to be happening you either don't notice, or you notice but don't do anything about it.  So why does this happen?

     1.  People are busy:  You must do something impactful to get them to       remember who you are and what you do.  Once they leave an event or your meeting, they get on with their life, which is already over-loaded, and don't think about you at all.

     2.  People tell you what you want to hear:  We live in the Midwest, we have a hard time telling people we are not interested.  No offense to you, you are a great person, but they cannot say no to you. They may already have someone they have a relationship with in your field and don't tell you.  They may have no interest or time to want to build a relationship with you.  I've seen it all.  When I have the courage to call them on it, it is the best thing for both of us.

     3.  You were not clear on your expectations:  Did you have the courage to clearly define what your expectations are for the meeting?  Were there clear expectations as to a next step if any?  Who was going to do what before you meet again, if you meet again.  Your goals and objectives are not clearly defined, you are not sure yourself, why you are meeting.  What are your own goals for doing what you are doing?  Clearly define those goals.

      4.  You did not lead with Generosity:  This means how much preparation did  you do prior to the meeting so that you could come to the meeting leading with generosity, if you found that they deserved it.  You can show up with potential introductions or possibly a potential referral!  How much more impactful would your meeting be if you were prepared like this?  Think about that.  Either way that is leading with generosity.

     5.  You lack a follow-up system:  the F word in my book.  It is your responsibility to re-engage with this other person.  If you wait for others, then it will be a long time.  This is where it gets to be hard, time consuming, etc.  This is where most people fail.  I say fail because they do nothing except wait until they see them again at a meeting or event. 

We are scratching the surface of what is really going on, I've been coaching people on how to break down these barriers for over 10 years, they are all different and can be very challenging.  Become a student of the game and learn what you can about people and relationships. 

Next up, strategies to take networking and meeting new people to the next level.

Steve Aune