5 Reasons to Love Rejection

I love rejection.

I still love a ‘yes’ more than I love a ‘no’. But if I can’t get a ‘yes’, I will happily take a ‘no’.

Seems oddly counter intuitive, I get that. After all, we are taught our whole lives that there is right versus wrong, positive versus negative, good versus bad, winners versus losers. Acceptance versus rejection. So invariably, when we are rejected, we automatically see it on the wrong/negative/bad/loser end of the spectrum.

Our knee-jerk reaction to rejection is dejection from years of conditioning…

No you can’t have ice cream before dinner.

No you didn’t make the team.

No you didn’t get accepted to your first choice university.

No you didn’t get that date.

No you didn’t get that job.

Seeing the silver-lining of rejection requires unlearning a lifetime of lessons. But just like you were trained to believe rejection was bad, you can train yourself to know that rejection just is, and even can be, positive.

Here are five reasons to start loving rejection.

Rejection Trumps Silence: Getting a ‘no’ to your request is much better than having your pitch ignored. Rejection means that the other person took the time to pay attention to your ask. They noticed you enough to tell you no. Having your request ignored, on the other hand, means that the other person is indifferent, which means they don’t care.

Rejection Parts the Sea of No’s to Get You to Yeses: If you want anything other than the status quo, you will face rejection. It’s inevitable. We all know that yet rejection is something we try to avoid. But what if we saw each rejection as another obstacle removed, getting us closer to acceptance? Rejection might hurt, but it benefits us greatly. It can show us where we need to tweak a service, improve a product, beef up our resume or practice our interview skills. Those rejections are actually doing you a favour, showing you where you need to fill in the gaps.

Rejection Builds Your Ability to Take It On the Chin: If any average person steps in the ring with Mike Tyson and gets punched once, it’ll be lights out like it was for Alan in the Hangover. It’s only the Evander Holyfields, the guys who have taken jab, jab, jab, right hook repeatedly, who would even stand a chance. That’s how it works with rejection. First hit is a TKO. Then with each subsequent rejection you take it better and it gets easier to bounce back.

Rejection Means You TRIED: A person who is never rejected never tried. A person who is rejected is a person of action. Who would you rather go to sleep at night, being?

Rejection Received Multiple Times Means You’re STILL Trying: So what happens when you get rejected? Do you give up? Many do. But if you you are continuously rejected it means you are continuously trying.

I’ve been following Jia Jiang, author of Rejection Proof and the man who embarked on the brave adventure of actually seeking out rejection for 100 days by making silly, funny and sometimes absurd requests of strangers. He called it his rejection therapy, helping him squash his fear of rejection.

I don’t believe that we can fully eliminate our fears of being rejected. Once you have no fear over rejection, that means you’ve become apathetic towards getting a Yes. The fear of rejection is rooted not only in our conditioning but also because it forces us to be vulnerable in front of others, and that’s always a less than comfortable feeling.

Despite the fear, despite the discomfort of getting vulnerable, the risk of rejection makes us better, makes us stronger and makes us more committed to fulfilling our purpose. And how could you not love that?