5 Quotes From Epictetus That’ll Change How You Perceive Life

In a world of ever-changing perspectives, Epictetus’ stoic philosophy remains a reliable guide.

Embodying wisdom and virtue, he knew how life could be lived well. And contrary to the popular belief, it’s easier than you think. Because in the end, life’s only a game, and with any game, if you know the rules, you can win.

Here are 5 quotes from Epictetus that’ll change how you perceive life.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

Life’s what you make of it.

If you think you’re the victim, you’ve already lost before the next round has started. It really is that simple.

Life isn’t fair.

And you can have an unfair advantage in this unfair game. You can change your perception to enable you to tackle EVERY challenge.

Sounds too good, to be true?

It isn’t.?But it requires lots of work,?mindfulness, and emotional resilience.?And it requires you to detach yourself from what you think is true.

That’s the hardest part.

My mother is a remarkable woman. She left Eastern Germany with nothing to come to Western Germany. But she was content because she saw it as gaining freedom instead of losing comfort.

Then, she got breast cancer. But she was content because she saw a new way of life instead of losing her old life.?She won.

And finally, her own brother scammed her for the inheritance of their mother. But again, she was content because she hadn’t expected the money anyway.

Although sometimes it feels like that for me, my mother is no superwoman.?She just understood this simple principle from Epictetus.

If you can change your perception, you have the power to tackle any problem. But often, we’re too entangled in our version of reality that we can take a step back to look at things.

First, be brave and take a step back.

And then be even braver and change how you see things.

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

When did you really learn from speaking?

I’m guilty of that myself. Sometimes, it feels too good to speak.

But that’s not how we learn. That’s not how we build trust. And it’s not how we interact with others.

If speaking is silver, then listening is gold.

Most of us think of ourselves as teachers, but we’re only students. Students who are arrogant enough to believe we can teach. Instead, we should sit down in detention and start listening.

In conversations, I often reached the point where I had the urge to speak. And instead of continuing to listen, I’d share my opinion, only to realize that my opinion was irrelevant because there was more to the story, which changed everything.

Epictetus knew that, too. He knew that to understand something, you need to know as much as you can about it. Do the same.

Don’t think you’re wise enough to teach, instead be smart enough to listen.

“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.”

We, as a society, have a problem: we believe the loudest ones.

It starts with little children. The more they scream and shout and let it all out (sorry, I got carried away), the more they get.

But it continues in adulthood. It’s not the best, smartest, or wisest person getting all the attention; it’s the?loudest.

Don’t agree? Just think about the last party you went to. Right.

And to some extent, I can’t blame the people. There are simply too many of us nowadays. One has to scream to get attention.

But every now and then, we see something refreshing: a silent but shining wisdom.

A person who doesn’t need all the attention. That isn’t in the fame game. And doesn’t even try to educate people but carries a certain aura.

That’s what Epictetus meant.

When you carry yourself, your philosophy, and your ideals so well, people can’t ignore you. That’s freaking impressive. And that’s why their ideas are so infectious.

Live what you are, but don’t force it on other people.

“Control what you can; ignore what you cannot.”

Control is an illusion.

Most people spend loads of mental bandwidth, money, and even more time to plan everything in advance. Only to get hit by a curveball life throws our way.

When I was 21, I was busy. As busy as I’ve never been before or after. I studied, worked, coached kids, gave extra lessons, went to the gym, had a social life, and played football. I made it all possible.

How? By planning everything to the exact minute. I got hooked on the feeling that I could plan everything – even people.

Turned out, this doesn’t work.

It started with the occasional missed train. I got furious with the world, why public transport has left two minutes too early. I blamed public transport, the city, the state, basically everything and -one but myself.

Then, it only got worse.

People turned their back on me because they didn’t want to feel like slot-fillers. Yes, that’s how I treated them, and I’m not proud.

But?I learned an important lesson.

Life’s unplannable.

You can plan certain aspects, but there’s always something you can’t plan. No matter how hard you try.

What if you took the early train but, thanks to DB, missed your flight to Ottawa? Well, that’s just life.

Either you fight it (and fight your very self because you’re part of this game called life) or you simply accept it and?make the best of it.

As Epictetus knew, the latter is better.

Don’t make the same mistakes I made. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’re the best planner in the world. And please don’t think only control makes your life enjoyable.

It’s all wrong.

Because in the end, it’s the unexpected that makes life so wonderful.

Control what you can make the best of what you can’t.

“He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.”

Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Especially in Germany, where I’m coming from, most have a huge problem with that. They studied and now make their living from being experts. At some point along the way, they’ve lost all sense of humor.

Life’s a comedy. Why shouldn’t you laugh at the protagonist from time to time? Laughing is fun, healthy, and can help you in bad times. Give it a try.

But don’t make a mistake:

• Don’t laugh about yourself only to amuse others This will crush your confidence and hinder you from believing in yourself. In school, I had a friend like that, who only got attention as soon as he made an idiot of himself. That’s not real attention; that’s pity clothed in attention.
• Don’t laugh about yourself in a sarcastic way Never treat yourself like a victim. You aren’t. Life hands everybody some lemons; don’t think you’re cursed to receive more and make fun of that. Sarcasm is the perfect way to destroy any joy left in life.

Epictetus wasn’t too shy to laugh at himself when he messed up. But always with a good intention. He didn’t want to punish himself but to realize that life’s a comedy, in which we try to figure out the roles we play our whole lives.

Don’t think humor has no part in life, and laugh more about yourself.

Here’s what you can learn from the wise sayings of Epictetus:

• your reaction to an event is more important than the event itself.
• don’t speak too much; listen instead.
• live what you are, but don’t force it onto other people.
• control what you can make the best of what you can’t.
• don’t take life too seriously.