5 Questions That Will Help You Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

The most powerful way to learn and improve is to begin with self-reflection. Self-reflection requires asking ourselves challenging questions which are often uncomfortable and very hard to answer. They move us to think deeper. To be analytical. To go back through our memories. They require us to reflect and become self-aware. That is truly what leads to growth!

It shows us just how important emotional intelligence is to living a fulfilling, successful and amazing life that helps us and everyone around us to be better. The more I have researched, studied and learned about emotional intelligence, the more I realized this was the skill set that is most essential for long-term success, happiness and fulfillment.

I see it everyday in business and in life. Emotional intelligence helps you to become the best version of yourself.

Whatever your industry or role emotional intelligence will help you create opportunities, build relationships and make smarter decisions. It is the skill set that will have the greatest influence on your success.

Inquisitive, self-work begins with introspection. It comes from asking questions that challenge us and dare us to move toward progress. I’ve put together five questions that will help you increase your emotional intelligence and get you moving toward a life and career of fulfillment and success. Enjoy!

Check out my LinkedIn Learning course, Leading with Emotional Intelligence to improve your self-awareness and help you improve your emotional intelligence!

1. Empathy

Who have I reached out to in my personal and professional network to say, “I care about you — I want to know how you’re doing?”

The act of genuinely showing someone you care is pure empathy. Someone you know may need someone to speak with now. To talk to. Just someone that can hear them out if they’re struggling due to a tough decision, personal difficulty or pain. You never know who could benefit from having you in their life. All it takes is you reaching out and showing you care.

I've worked with CEO's that have dramatically turned around the fortunes of their organization by leaning in to listen and care for their senior leaders and middle managers. People respond well to interest, appreciation and recognition. People want to feel belonging both in life and in business!

Empathy is how you build relationships. It’s how you live a life in alignment with The Golden Rule and the types of values and principles that are a reflection of positive character.

2. Self-Awareness

Am I using time during my day and week to dedicate to my own personal development?

Things like reading a great leadership book, improving skills and listening to your inner voice will all lead to personal growth. Choose your time wisely. Think about areas that you want to improve. Think about your strengths and what you do well. Develop a mindfulness and meditation practice to work on your own self-care.

Be aware of what motivates you, what de-motivates you and determine goals that are going to help you grow into the person you want to be. Have goals in the first place. Know what you need to move forward and how you want to elevate people around you. That's what championship leadership is all about.

Looking to hire a keynote speaker? Check out my speaker reel below and reach out to see how I can help your organization!

3. Social Skill

What relationships have I sought out in an effort to build connection?

Similar to empathy, but different in that you can offer knowledge, expertise and value to someone seeking it. Maybe you’re looking to make someone laugh, maybe you’re helping to connect them to a colleague or friend that can help them. Maybe it’s simply working with a client to help them see the value in a solution that you're offering. But remember, personalizing the relationship matters! Adding the human element of checking in on someone goes a long way. Both clients and colleagues want someone who can help them grow their skills and achieve their goals.

Find connection. We’re social creatures who crave connecting, learning and inspiring one another. Invest in someone on a personal level. Don't make it about you. Make it about them, ask questions, inspire them, and share pieces of yourself when it makes sense.

4. Motivation

What things are helping me each day to build confidence, consistency and passion toward what I’m looking to accomplish?

Determine the motivating factors in your life that will empower your mind, body and spirit to do beautiful work. Set goals. Work hard to reach them and always find self-motivation in the form of passion, purpose and defining success for yourself. Do it for yourself. Do it for your loved ones. Do it because reaching the pinnacle of self-actualization is what you want for yourself. It's what's going to help you have longevity and lasting success in business and life.

Find the things that help inspire and motivate you each day.

5. Self-Management

How am I managing my emotions (both negative and positive) to help me navigate each day?

Self-Awareness is critical, but self-management is where you go for the win. This is the step beyond just recognizing the way emotions can influence your behavior. It’s about how you manage those emotions both privately and personally. You can use both negative and positive emotions to your advantage in your life and career.

An example of that is using joy to celebrate special moments with your colleagues. Celebrate your wins! When you lose, let that disappointment serve as motivation to fuel your next business venture. Don’t let disappointment or frustration sink you — learn from this emotion and experience to become stronger. Take a step outside — find new perspectives by reflecting and trying new methods to succeed.

Growth and self-improvement are born from asking ourselves the right questions. Use emotional intelligence to guide you — ask these questions and learn more about yourself, and the person you want to become in the process.

Visit Christopher on his website (chrisdconnors.com) to learn more about his keynote speaking, team-building workshops and coaching work with leaders and organizations. Please share this on LinkedIn and with friends and colleagues. Welcome to The Champion Leader Movement! Hit the subscribe button to receive this newsletter each week.

Christopher D. Connors is the author of The Champion Leader: https://amzn.to/4aIeJaw. He is also the creator of top LinkedIn Learning course, Leading with Emotional Intelligence. He's a keynote speaker, executive coach, and globally recognized expert on emotional intelligence. Christopher consults with executives and leaders at Fortune 1000 companies.