5 Principles for Building Relational Capital in Business

Being able to skillfully build relationships is absolutely essential when it comes to achieving organisational success, satisfaction, and overall wellbeing. Drawing from the rich experience of Jay Chopra, PhD, and the work of renowned psychologists such as John Gottman and Marcial Losada, this article dives into 5 principles for building relational capital at work.

1. Everybody wants to be seen, heard and understood

The first principle is simple but perhaps the most important. Everybody, and that means everybody, in life and business wants to be seen, heard, and understood. People are happiest when they are in an environment where their opinions are welcomed, and where they are genuinely seen and heard. As leaders, we must seek to understand the people around us by asking questions. Once we have genuinely listened to and considered the other person's point of view, then it is ok to go in a different direction. However, it is important that you explain this decision to the person. Additionally, if you find that you are always right, then you are not leading. Part of being a good leader is embracing humility, taming our egos, and letting others lead us at times.

A simple tool to help us help others feel seen, heard, and understood is FUEL.

F - Forget judging for now

U - Understand the idea by asking questions

E - Explore and expand the idea further with the person

L - Listen actively

Are you fueling the ideas of your teammates or are you extinguishing their fire?

2.?The 5:1 Ratio: A Blueprint for Success

John Gottman, a pioneering figure in the study of relationships, introduced the concept of the 5:1 ratio, derived from observations of successful marriages. This principle suggests that for every negative interaction, there should be a minimum of five positive interactions to maintain a healthy equilibrium. While Gottman's research initially focused on romantic partnerships, its application extends seamlessly into the business context. Positive interactions not only bolster morale and foster a sense of camaraderie but also pave the way for enhanced productivity and job satisfaction among team members.

Imagine a team within a company that is facing some challenges due to a recent project failure. The team leader notices that morale is low, and there is a lot of tension among team members. To address this, the leader decides to implement the 5:1 ratio principle. First, the leader acknowledges the team's efforts and achievements, highlighting the successes they've had in the past and the strengths of each team member. This positive reinforcement helps boost morale and confidence. Next, the leader identifies areas for improvement and addresses them constructively. Instead of focusing solely on the recent project failure, the leader frames it as a learning opportunity and encourages open communication about what went wrong and how to prevent similar issues in the future. Throughout this process, the leader ensures that for every critical feedback or discussion about challenges, there are at least five instances of positive reinforcement, appreciation, and encouragement within the team. This helps maintain a supportive and motivating atmosphere, even during difficult times.

In our professional interactions, embracing the 5:1 ratio requires conscious efforts to infuse positivity and support into our daily interactions. Whether providing feedback, resolving conflicts, or collaborating on projects, prioritising constructive engagement can strengthen team dynamics and cultivate a productive work environment. By adhering to the 5:1 ratio, organisations can nurture a culture of collaboration, innovation, and resilience.

3. The Losada Ratio for High-Performing Teams

Marcial Losada is a renowned psychologist whose work delves into the dynamics of high-performing teams. Interestingly, Losada's research echoed Gottman's findings from his research with married couples - maintaining a positive-to-negative interaction ratio of at least 5:1 is crucial for teams to flourish.

In a team context, prioritising positive communication and fostering an environment of support and encouragement is paramount. By ensuring that positive interactions outweigh negative ones, teams can cultivate a culture that nurtures collaboration, creativity, and mutual respect.

Embracing Losada's insights empowers teams to harness the transformative power of positivity. By amplifying positive interactions and minimising negativity, teams can unlock their full potential, driving greater cohesion, performance, and ultimately, organisational success.

4. The Trust Equation: Foundations of Strong Relationships

Beyond the realm of positivity ratios, trust serves as a cornerstone of effective relationships, both personal and professional. Understanding the components of trust, as elucidated by the trust equation, offers a roadmap for cultivating trust-based connections.

Building Credibility, Reliability, and Intimacy

Trust is a function of credibility, reliability, and interpersonal connection divided by self-orientation or self-interest. Strengthening credibility through expertise, demonstrating reliability through consistent actions, and fostering connection through authentic interactions are essential to building trust.

Mitigating Self-Orientation

Mitigating self-orientation involves transcending personal interests and prioritising the needs and perspectives of others. By adopting an other-oriented mindset and cultivating inclusivity, individuals can foster trust and forge meaningful connections grounded in mutual respect and understanding.

5. Give and Receive Feedback as a GIFT

It is common knowledge that many people struggle with giving and receiving feedback. Feedback can be an awkward and sometimes adversarial engagement that triggers the fight-flight-freeze response in both parties.

However, if we put ourselves in the mindset of giving and receiving feedback as a GIFT, our brain will not register the situation as a threat. GIFT stands for "Good Intended Feedback underpinned by Trust". To transform feedback from a confrontational and often dreaded experience to a more positive experience, making small adjustments to your language can make a massive difference. For example, by providing feedback in the format of:

1. "What you did well was…."
2. "It would be even better if…."

This is not a threatening conversation and in fact, such interactions can actually enhance trust within your relationships. Similarly changing the phrase "I'd like to challenge what you just said" (confrontational, old-fashioned language that triggers negative emotions) to "Can I share an alternative perspective?" completely changes the tone of the entire interaction and adds pennies to your trust bank with this person.

By incorporating these 5 concepts into your organisational culture, you can cultivate a stronger, more trusting, and collaborative team environment. As the proverb says,

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together".

Thank you! Thanks to my Making Shift Happen colleague Louise Coombes , for her help in creating this article. Thanks also to you, the reader for tuning in. Share your thoughts in the comments!

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