5 Practices For How To Respectfully Disagree At Work

Companies and teams need employees to respectfully challenge and disagree with each other's perspectives, ideas, and actions. Challenging the status quo helps teams generate alternative ideas for improving how the company operates and innovates. Are you the person on your team that challenges issues others are aware of but unwilling to bring forward? Are you a person who is not afraid to share an unpopular perspective if you feel it is necessary?

Sharing your disagreement can come with risks for individuals and teams. You can be right about the critique you share and wrong about how you do it. You can also disagree in a way that does more harm than good. The best teams have learned to respectfully disagree with each other's ideas and perspectives in a manner that creates a better environment and improves performance for all.

5 Practices For Engaging In Respectful Disagreement

1) Is The Disagreement Necessary

For some people, it is easy to relish being the person who challenges situations and perspectives that we feel are flawed or incomplete. It can even be that your team relies on you as the team critic. But there is also a limit to how much others can hear one person's voice sharing a dissenting opinion. Below are questions that will help you assess if your disagreement is necessary or if you are the right person to voice the challenge.?

• Does it serve the greater good?
• Have you already shared it??
• Are the people you are sharing your disagreement with willing to be influenced?
• Is there a better way/time/place to say this??
• Should someone else be the voice of dispute in this situation?

2) Delivery Matters

You can be right about the need to challenge a perspective and be wrong about how you do it. We have all seen passionate people convince themselves that the end justifies the means. This is a dangerous belief because it allows us to justify poor delivery because of our perspective on the importance of our message. These interactions can leave a lasting negative impact on relationships and trust between all participants.

Very rarely is the challenging perspective that needs to be shared so critical, urgent, or life-threatening that it justifies not considering the dignity, emotional safety, and respect of others. Taking a moment to pause and align your intentions to your best long-term goals enables you to bring your best self to these high-stakes conversations. The following questions will help you engage others in a meaningful and thoughtful manner.

• What are your best long-term results and relationship goals?
• Based on the response to the previous question, what are your best "in the moment" intentions for sharing your differing perspectives?

Deliberately choosing your best intentions before sharing your disagreements with others' perspectives, ideas, or actions can completely change the when, where, and how you engage others.

3) Introduce The Disagreement And Ask Questions

The first step is to introduce the issue you want to discuss and acknowledge that you need their perspectives to understand the situation better. Below is an example of how you can introduce the issue at hand.

• I think we have different perspectives about ____________. I would like to hear your thoughts on this and share my views.

Leading with questions shows others that you know you do not have all the information and value their perspectives about the topic. Taking time to ask questions to understand the situation better doesn't stop you from sharing your challenges; it just means that you choose to ask questions to understand other views of the situation before sharing yours.?

Questions To Understand Perspectives

• What do you feel that I need to understand better?
• What challenges are you encountering??
• What are your thoughts about my concerns?
• What is going well??

Questions for Solutions

• How would you define success?
• How would you suggest moving forward?
• How can we work together for progress?
• What do you need from me?

4) Responsible Advocacy

Equally important as asking questions to understand other's perspectives is advocating your perspectives responsibly. This balance of questions and advocacy creates an environment that allows collaboration and healthy dialogue. Here are some quick tips for high-quality advocacy:

• State your assumptions and describe how you reached your conclusions
• Use "I statements" (I feel, I believe, I thought, etc.)
• Give specific examples
• Respond to concerns or challenges by using "Yes, And" statements versus "Yes, But"?

5) Seek To Understand Other's Negative Emotions?

Sharing concerns about someone else's perspective or position can often trigger a defensive response. Research shows that negative emotions inhibit our ability to perceive situations accurately and collaborate successfully with others. Do you know how to respond effectively to someone who becomes defensive because of your differing perspective??

Emotional intensity tends to diminish when people's concerns and perspectives are heard. Below are questions that can help others productively express their negative feelings.

• It sounds like you're feeling (frustrated, upset, etc.). Is that correct?
• Please tell me if this is not correct. You feel ________ because…
• Tell me more…

Conclusion

Organizations need employees and teams to confront issues, deliver results, and establish strong relationships. Developing the capacity to engage in respectful disagreement is a tool that will improve your professional success and your team's performance. These 5 Practices For How To Respectfully Disagree At Work will help you effectively engage others during these important, challenging, and complex conversations.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:?Tony Gambill is the President and Founder of ClearView Leadership, an innovative leadership and talent development consulting firm helping executives and managers bring their best leadership selves to their most challenging situations. He is the author of,?Getting It Right When It Matters Most: Self-Leadership For Work & Life . You can also follow Tony on?Forbes ?to see his latest articles on Self-Leadership and Leading Others.