5 Powerful Reasons Why Body Language is Important.
Akshita Lohia
Business Analyst specializing in quantitative and qualitative data analysis
Do you want to be the most powerful person in the room? How about instantly building rapport— without saying a word? Here’s why your body language is important.
What if I told you there’s a way to get almost anything you want? Things like:
No, I’m not talking about some magic superpower… although some might call it that. I’m talking about body language.
Body language is the closest thing to mindreading and a skill ANYONE can learn.
In this article, I’m going to talk about why body language is important. More specifically, you will learn:
Where is the first place you look when you see someone?
Before we get started...
I want to give you an honest disclaimer.
Once you know the secrets of body language, you start seeing the “dark” side of people. You might find consistent closed signals from someone you thought was your “friend.” You might discover contempt signs from your partner who’s fed up and wants to move on. You might see a coworker leak a subtle happy microexpression when they find out you’re leaving.
In all these cases, you might feel hurt. So if you’re sensitive to emotions and prefer to remain in blissful ignorance instead…
But on the bright side, understanding it will bring out your untapped abilities to maximize ANY social encounter you’re in. Essentially, you’ll know 90% of what lies beneath the iceberg in ANY social encounter.
#1: Reading Body Language is a Super Skill
Superman has super strength, the Flash can run thousands of miles per hour, and Aquaman can breathe underwater.
And humans can… well, does this count?
But if there’s any superpower we have, it’s reading body language.
And it’s not quite a superpower.
I prefer to call reading body language a SuperSkill because it is a skill we can all learn.
Now the truth is, ANYONE can learn to read body language. Even the old granny who can’t see well (hint: body language exists in vocal variations, too).
A Case of the Runs
High school was a time full of awkwardness and regret—as I’m sure many of you can relate to. In particular, I remember one time when my high school crush, Nihar, sat at our lunch table one day.?
I was terrified.
We normally sat in our own little group; we weren’t the “popular” ones, but at least we had some common interests like reading books and gossiping about oh-so-cute boys—it was odd for a popular kid like Nihar to sit with us.
He sat down and talked a bit with his friend, and then turned to me and asked, “So what’s going on with you?”
I could feel my face flush red with embarrassment. Immediately, my throat dried up and my mind blanked out.
So I did the only thing my rational brain thought of at the time. I excused myself and scurried to the bathroom.
And I hid there. I hid there while sweating bullets and didn’t come out until lunch was over.
The next day, Nihar didn’t show up. And when my friends asked, I told them it was just a bad case of the runs.
Phew! Okay, now that I’m done reliving one of my most embarrassing high school memories (there’s more where that came from!), I want to tell you that no matter who you are—whether you’re a shy introvert looking to look more natural, or you’re already pretty good at socializing and want to get a better edge—you, too, can master body language skills.
#2: Nonverbals are More Important than Words
You may have heard something like, “93% of communication is nonverbal!” However, this number is wrong and outdated.
Famous silent characters like Charlie Chaplin, Silent Bob, Wall-E, and Courage the Cowardly Dog can portray the entire human spectrum of emotion—and tell compelling stories from their nonverbals—without having to use words at all.
So while there might not be a real percentage, we do know that nonverbal behaviors tell a much more comprehensive story than words do.
Try This: “I Love You” Exercise
We all know the power of love. But how you say it certainly makes a huge difference. For instance, try saying “I love you” in different ways:
– Emotionless
– Happy
– Sad
– Angry
– Confused
Can you imagine saying these 5 phrases in different scenarios? You certainly wouldn’t want to shout angrily to your lover, “I love you!” during a romantic candlelit dinner!
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Now, most people can carefully choose their words, but they can’t choose their body language (unless they’re a politician, that is).
There are only 3 situations where people pay attention to their body language:
Most of the time, people aren’t aware they’re giving away cues that show their true feelings.
#3: Develop a “6th Sense” In Your Interactions
Have you ever asked someone how their day was, and they say something like, “It was great!”
But then you see their fatigued eyes as they drag their feet to walk past you. This might be a dangerous sign of toxic positivity, but more importantly, it’s something that even the most oblivious person can catch on to.
But what about other scenarios?
In these cases, how do you tell what people are saying? True, it might be a little harder at first… but even the most botoxed faces will give away a hint of the deeper feelings that lie beneath the surface.
Even the most professional liars often leak subtle cues that give them away.
Body language analysis works for almost every situation you will find yourself in, regardless of who you’re talking to. There are even universal body language cues that are found across cultures, and even in the most remote of tribes.
However, most people don’t pick up on these cues, even though the other person displays them in plain sight. Traditional schools don’t teach you body language, either. That’s why learning body language is like unlocking your 6th sense of intuition.
With body language skills, these “subtle displays” become obvious. You’ll be shocked how you’ll instinctively know someone is angry by observing their nostrils flare, cheeks turn pale, and torso shifts away slightly, while your clueless friend turns to you and says, “I have a strange feeling about him, but I don’t know why.”
I’ve been able to use my skills from simply knowing how to talk to my partner, to negotiating with a client.
And with your newfound skills, you can, too.
#4: Take Command of Your Relationships, Negotiations, and Career
So what are the best ways to rake in the gold from all this juicy knowledge? Besides working on your nonverbals (more on that next), the big trinity I found that most people use their body language skills with are:
Relationships
I want you to feel confident in your relationships. And that goes for both romantic and friendly ones. Knowing where to stand, how to come across as open, and even how to appear welcoming so others approach you is key to making meaningful relationships that last.
Negotiations
Every interaction you have in life is a negotiation. A negotiation for power, money, and status. No matter how you view it, we are always in a negotiation—and whether you win that negotiation or not can greatly influence how much you get back in life.
Career
Having trouble opening up a difficult employee? A non-bossy behavior might help Some of you might have difficulty introducing yourself in a job interview. That confident smile can make anything work.
#5: Become The Most Powerful Person in the Room
This sounds a bit cheesy, but with body language, you can really become who you want to be.
Let me explain.
You might feel “held back” or “restricted” in your lives. Perhaps because it’s societal conditioning, an overly-strict household, or xxx—whatever the case, you want to break free from these emotional chains.
With body language knowledge, you can catch yourself using negative body language cues and replace them with positive, confident ones.
“But I don’t want to just appear confident! I want to BE confident!”
I’ve heard this sooo many times before, but many people don’t realize that your body comes first, and the brain follows.?
Fake it ‘Till You Make it
In a groundbreaking study published inPsychological Science, Harvard professor Amy J.C. Cuddy found amazing benefits of the “power pose.” In her experiment, 42 male and female participants were assigned to either a high-power pose group (such as putting their feet on the desk with hands behind their head) or low-power pose group (such as sitting in a chair with arms held close and hands folded).
The big surprise is that power poses were found to reduce cortisol and increase testosterone…in as little as 2 minutes (25% reduction and 19% increase, respectively). They also felt more powerful and had higher risk-taking behavior.?
The reason this works is because of Mirror Neurons.
What are Mirror Neurons?
Mirror neurons are neurons in the brain that activate whenever we see or perform a behavior. Different mirror neurons fire off depending on the behavior. And depending on the “feeling” of the behavior, you can also directly change your mood as well. These are one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal.
You can even activate your mirror neurons right now! Try a confident power pose. Lean back in your chair with arms behind your head, expanding your chest outward. Or, if you’re standing, you can widen your stance and put your hands on your hips (aka the Superhero pose).
Do you feel more confident and powerful? You may notice an immediate effect, but true, permanent changes take practice, practice, practice until your knowledge becomes solidified into your personality.
Lead yourself to your first exercise…
Record Your “Before Video”
Before you continue with the rest of the guide, I want you to record yourself for at least 10 minutes. Simply grab your phone or camera, hit record, sit in front of a mirror, and talk about your favorite subject.
Why?
Because this video recording will be your baseline—a starting point to look back at and see your progress over the course of your body language journey.
A huge transformation can be seen in just minutes by simply changing one simple gesture!