5 Phrases That Defuse Customer Anger (Without Saying "Calm Down")
Have you ever been told to "calm down" during a heated moment? It's frustrating, right? Well, the same principle applies when dealing with upset customers. Telling them to calm down is like throwing fuel on the fire.
In my customer service workshops, I use a simple exercise to demonstrate this concept. I ask participants to pair up and have one person push against the other's palm. Invariably, the person being pushed pushes back, even though they weren't instructed to do so. This natural reaction mirrors what happens when we tell an agitated customer to calm down - they instinctively push back, often escalating the situation.
So, what can we do instead? Here are five phrases that work better than "Ma'am, I need you to calm down":
1. "We want to get to the bottom of this as much as you do."
This statement aligns you with the customer, showing that you're on the same team. It demonstrates your commitment to resolving the issue, rather than defending or protecting the problem.
2. "It sounds like you've had a frustrating experience."
By acknowledging their feelings, you're validating their experience. This helps the customer feel heard and understood, which can go a long way in diffusing tension.
3. "I know. It seems like these things take forever."
Empathy is key in customer service. By relating to their frustration, you're building a connection and showing that you understand their perspective.
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4. "If I were in your shoes, I think I'd feel the same way."
This phrase further reinforces your empathy and understanding. It shows the customer that their reaction is valid and that you're not judging them for their frustration.
5. "I'm so glad you contacted us about this. We appreciate customers who let us know when things aren't right."
Thanking the customer for bringing the issue to your attention shifts the dynamic. It positions their complaint as valuable feedback rather than an inconvenience, which can help de-escalate the situation.
Remember, in problem situations, customers often perceive it as "us vs. them." They see you as defending the problem, making it worse for them. Your goal should be to show that you're on the same side of the line as the customer, facing the problem together.
It's not you against the customer. It's you and the customer against the problem.
By using these phrases, you're not pushing back or demanding that the customer calm down. Instead, you're giving them what they're truly seeking - to be heard and acknowledged. This approach helps lower the temperature of the interaction and puts you back in control of the situation.
Implementing these strategies takes practice, but the results are worth it. You'll find that customers are more likely to cooperate and work with you towards a solution when they feel understood and respected.
What's your go-to phrase for de-escalating tense customer interactions? Share your experiences in the comments below!
If you need help lowering the temperature with angry customers when you can't meet their expectations, my LinkedIn Learning course, De-escalating Customer Service Conversations , may help.
Myra makes customer service professionals feel stronger and more confident when dealing with challenging customers. Having trained more than 1 million students, she is a favorite training partner to Fortune 500 companies with her customized, engaging, behavior-changing (and fun) customer service workshops, working with McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, Frito-Lay, Michelin, Vera Bradley, the Denver Broncos, and other brands. Myra is also an Author at LinkedIn Learning. Learn more about Myra at MyraGolden.com .?
Customer Service Specialist | Client Support
2 个月I agree
Sr. Submission Coordinator at IMPAXX
2 个月I utilized certain phrases with one of our customers and went above and beyond to help him resolve an issue. However, he felt I wasn't very helpful and became irate and disrespectful towards me. Despite his behavior, I remained composed and polite throughout the process. I even assured him that I understood his frustrations and would contact a third party to assist in resolving the issue, promising to return to him with an answer. He responded by sending an email to me, copying my teammates and Team Lead, where he practically attacked me and claimed that I lacked the experience to handle his problem. For context, I have over 20 years of customer service experience and have dealt with a wide range of attitudes, both positive and negative. Yet, despite all this, my Team Leader sided with him, labeling me as a threat. Consequently, my Team Leader proposed to demote me and remove me from the account, preferring to retain this difficult client over a valuable employee like myself. I obviously did not accept the demotion and chose to resign from my position which I loved in the past six years.
Customer Service Agent at Wise
2 个月Very informative
--No Scammers-I know who you are/No Crypto either
2 个月I always just say “Now, now little girl” but that doesn’t always go well with men larger than me. ??????
IOS Deployment Technician specializing in mobile device deployment and technical support
2 个月Love those phrases. I have used them or something similar in the past. Quickest way to deescalate a problem is to show empathy.