5 Parenting Lessons from "Field of Dreams"

In this week’s newsletter, we’re going to look at five quotes from the classic movie Field of Dreams and see what lessons they have for the Intentional Dad.

Special thanks to Matti Kleikamp for the help and guidance. Follow Matti for some great insight, advice, and examples of parenting effectively.

"If you build it, he will come."

Family cultures, traditions, and systems don’t happen by accident.

In the simplest terms, we - dads - are building foundations for our families, communities, and our kids’ futures.

But the best thing a man can do for his family is to be the model they need.

You’ve heard it in various ways - walk the walk, talk the talk, actions speak louder than words, etc.

But if I asked you what you are building, what would you say?

Me? I’m building a life based on developing myself physically and mentally and helping those around me. I developed myself through exercise, listening, and facing my fears. I help those around me by providing time, opportunities, and guidance for my family, and volunteering for the underserved in my community.?

Other times, we have to get the work done. Check out this recent post on LinkedIn that many people resonated with, particularly those working from home with kids.?

And then there are our relationships. These aren’t an afterthought - rather, they are the model for what we want for our children.?

And a dad with a plan takes the lead. It’s OK to just make a decision.

Sometimes we have fun. Check out my Guide to Family Fun if you’re looking to take the stress out of planning your family’s adventures.

“Hey dad - wanna have a catch?”

We have so much to do. One of my biggest regrets is when I get caught up in the logistics of parenting and running a household.

And then all of a sudden it’s bedtime.

Now, I had the best intentions. I was going to play with the kids, or spend time with a couple individually, or even spend time relaxing.

But it didn’t happen because there is so much work to do.

Here’s how I get out of this vicious cycle:

1. Stop overcommitting and overpromising myself.
2. Ask for help.
3. Schedule the time.

So what can we do? Be true to our word. Make a list. Or don’t. Just be sure to keep your promises.

For It Is Money They Have and Peace They Lack

Money is important. I get it - I grew up with very little, and told myself I’d never be in that position again.?

I’m not a billionaire but I have more than what I need. I have enough to feel safe in the case of an emergency.?

We all just want what everyone else wants - the time to spend with our loved ones!?

I’ve chosen time over money before. And if you’re in a place where every dollar has to be accounted for, I get it. Making money and providing for our family is our way of showing love. It is a way to be Intentional in our systems.

Think about your own childhood memories. What would you get back if you could? Would it be access to your parents’ bank account? Or would it be one of those moments you had, sitting next to them, and just being with your family? I know what I would choose.

Is this heaven?

No, it’s Iowa.

Some people work to make the space they are in better.

Other people spend their lives thinking about how much greener the grass is on the other side of the fence.

And chances are, if the grass is really green, it could be because there’s a lot of fertilizer!

• Parent the kids you have - Not the kids you wish you had.
• Love where you are at - And stop wishing to be somewhere else.
• And if changes are needed, make them.

But don’t live two separate lives: One in your head, and one in your body.

Men already aren’t great at multitasking, and if we spend too much time wishing we were someone else, we are cheating ourselves and our loved ones.

If things are tough everywhere you go, think about the common denominator.

And if things seem to work out everywhere you go, let’s also think about the common denominator.

We all have the chance to make “Heaven” out of our Iowas. (no offense to any Hawkeyes!)

... and there were times when children could not afford eyeglasses, or milk, or clothing. Yet no child was ever denied of these essentials, because in the background, there was always Dr. Graham. Without any fanfare or publicity, the glasses, or the milk, or the ticket to the ballgame found their way into the child's pocket.

Ooof. That’s a long quote. But let’s break it down:

->people needed something. ->Someone made it happen. ->That someone didn’t ask for recognition.

Our impact does not just end with our families.

It can seem daunting to think about others when we have so much to think about in our homes. There is only so much time, so many resources, and why wouldn’t we take care of those at home??

But when we put more into our communities, we are taking care of our homes. Our homes expand beyond just our four walls. They are our neighborhoods, communities, cities. It’s like taking time for self-care so that you can show up for your family better.

That’s why I challenge you this week to do two things:

1. Do something for someone that they cannot do for themselves or need help doing.
2. Don’t tell a soul about it. If there are? witnesses, like your kids, just explain, “this is what we do. We help others.”

My newsletter, community , and coaching are for the dad that needs and wants a plan.?

I’m here to help! Sign up for my community at www.donstinson.net . Limited spots available for individual coaching - request only by emailing [email protected] .?