5. Where is your Locus of Control?

Closely associated with Article 4 in the series on Self-image is the thinking associated with your locus of control. The current COVID-19 situation is leading governments around the world to take actions seldom, if ever, seen before. In NZ and parts of Australia, and many parts of the world, 'Lockdown' is one of those actions. While some people debate the merits and other their civil liberties, lockdown for many of us is a reality. Was it bad luck? Was it fate? Is it our destiny? Can we control it (legally at least?). No - and so don't sweat it. Instead, how can you make the most of your situation? Don't get me wrong - some people are suffering more than others - but the way you think about it will determine your outcome - it's largely a self fulfilling prophecy.

How can you control the controllable?

Your view of your “locus of control” has an impact on your personal effectiveness. It influences the way you view your responsibility for the circumstances of your life. If you believe that your life is controlled, regulated, or ordered by outside forces, then your locus of control is external. Fate, luck, chance, and destiny are all examples of external control.

If you believe that you personally control your life, then your locus of control is internal.

If you have an externally controlled view of the world, you place blame on someone or something else for negative events that happen to you, and you relinquish personal control or responsibility in the situation. Correspondingly, attributing positive events to fate or destiny deprives you of the credit you deserve for creating that outcome. This position leaves people feeling powerless and ineffective.

“Only you can control your future.”

Dr. Seuss

When you have an internally controlled view, you attribute your successes and failures to your own actions; you assume responsibility. You know the distinctions between what you can and cannot control, which provides you with more effective coping mechanisms. You also understand that you make the decisions that affect your life. Therefore, you are likely to consider your options and available information thoroughly before making decisions, instead of relying on fate, luck or chance. You have a sense of being in charge.

Fundamental Question: "Who or what controls my life?"

Of course, there are some events that happen to you that you can’t control. In these cases, being internally controlled means taking responsibility for your role in what’s happening, even if it’s only being responsible regarding your reactions, responses, and emotions. The event may be beyond your control, but your response is not.

Research shows that people who have high levels of personal control (i.e., those who believe they “choose their own destinies”) are happier and more effective. Feeling that you are in control of a situation shifts your focus from being helpless, to having an important and responsible role to play in what happens to you. This feeling of responsibility encourages you to set goals and directions for yourself, and to understand the difference between things you can control and things you cannot. Having a sense of internal control insulates you against the temporary obstacles and setbacks that occur and allows you to remain in action and overcome the situation. And yes, COVID-19 and lockdowns are temporary.

Internally controlled people experience a great sense of accomplishment when they achieve success, and they accept failure as a learning experience. Their internal feeling of satisfaction helps build their self-confidence and self-image. This positive attitude keeps them at their peak performance level.

Behavioural Symptoms of External Control

The following behaviours correlate with being externally controlled, although being externally controlled may not be the only cause of these behaviours. Notice if you frequently exhibit any of the following characteristics:

?   Depend on others for direction

?   Have difficulty making decisions on your own

?   Attribute events in your life to fate, luck, or chance

?   Blame others for your problems

?   Feel helpless

?   Focus excessively on meeting external standards

?   Worry about what might happen to you or about what others will say/do

?   Have fears about “getting in trouble”

?   Feel uninformed or unprepared

?   Make decisions that are not in your best interest

Actions to Encourage Internal Control

Start making your own decisions. Practice making decisions for yourself, by yourself. If this is difficult for you, start with “smaller” decisions—and then move on to larger ones.

Take action to accomplish your goals. Setting your own direction and taking steps toward that direction every day will help you maintain ongoing control of your life.

Learn to distinguish between events, decisions, and situations you can control and those you can’t (e.g. Covid-19 lockdown). Then, maintain perspective. Be responsible for the things you can control. There are areas where you do have control and can take action. Is there anything you can do to remedy the situation? Taking action in the areas where you do have influence will make you feel better because you will be less likely to feel helpless, and may actually improve the situation by making additional elements more manageable or more controllable for you.

Don’t let the uncontrollable elements take over. Focus on the elements you can control and don’t dwell on those that are beyond the scope of your control. Would this event have happened anyway? Did the environment promote this situation? Random events and chaos, while frustrating, are part of life.

Avoid (if possible) the areas where you feel you do not have control. Practice in areas where you do have control and notice how you feel. Are there thought processes or practices that you can transfer to the “uncontrollable” areas of your life? This can help you cultivate internal control.

Be informed; use your resources. You need awareness of a situation to take control of it. Find out what you need to know to regain control and make an effort to stay informed in critical areas. Assess the information that comes to you and sort out what is useful and what is not. Use this to decide what’s best for you.

Don’t try to get by on luck. Being positive and optimistic are good attitudes to cultivate, but take responsibility for whatever happens, good or bad. You’re in charge of your life.

Practice saying “No!” Do the things that are important to you and learn to be more comfortable declining when people ask you to do something that violates your standards or goals. You don’t have to justify your reasons for saying “No,” because you’re in charge.

Learn and practice coping skills for the uncontrollable. The way you react to these uncontrollable events affects your emotional and physical health. Maintain the effective coping skills that you now have by practicing them and learn new skills when possible. Coping skills can include improving your ability to relax (meditation, exercise, hobbies); improving your problem- solving skills; improving interpersonal communication skills (negotiation, listening, etc.); and your ability to cooperate with others. Sometimes just “standing back” from the situation will allow you to regain your sense of control.

Communicate: Say what you think and feel. By communicating your needs and desires to the appropriate people—the people who can do something about it—you’ll find that you can control more areas and elements of your life than you had previously thought. When others know your position, they are more likely to consider it.

So the question is - what Locus of Control do you have? Want to learn more? Please don't hesitate to get in touch with me directly or visit our website.

?

Article 1. What is Stress?

Article 2. It's all about the way we think!

Article 3. Thinking clearly Under Pressure

Article 4. How do you view your Self-image?

Content for these articles has been sourced from the Human Synergistics International Stress Management Programme conducted by HSNZ, which utilises the Stress Processing Report diagnostic developed by Dr. Robert Cooke. This programme is available as a public programme or as an in-house (modified if you wish) programme. Please contact me to learn more. All content copyright Human Synergistics International 2020.

Images are from the awesome crew at Gapingvoid Design Group - thanks team!

Images are from the awesome crew at Gapingvoid Design Group - thanks team!