5 Little Lies which Stop you seeking Help for your Business! (and the TRUTHS to set you free)

Even though little white lies are EVERYWHERE, we like to think of ourselves as pretty truthful people. Which in and of itself is a lie.

We all do it, and in researching about it for this article, it appears that the world isn't as down on lying as I thought it was.

According to recruitment statistics as many as 50% of people lie on their CV (and I can believe that number to be even higher with some of the interesting 'facts' and hyperbole filled-titles I've seen on LinkedIn) - and the judgement of the lie is always more about who it hurts than whether the information was actually factual or not.

So that's led to a dangerous precedent where we don't believe lies to be as dangerous as they are. And that's quite scary to me.

Because they're all dangerous. They all have a cost! Even the little white ones we tell to feel better about our love handles or to smooth over CV gaps. And some of those costs can be really grave.

And so for today's #SaturdayServing (on a Sunday) we're going to look at 5 lies that I've seen repeatedly from women in business when trying to seek out help. Lies that are stopping them from being as bold as they should be in their business performance or business strategy. Lies which stop them asking as early as they should or comes up as objections and resistance maximizing the opportunity they're given.

Little Lie 1 - 'I have to know'...

When we're sick, what is the best thing to do? It's to seek medical help.

Yes - we might not be THAT sick, and we might have a really good remedy that our great-aunt Alice passed down that gets it every time. And we might think that painkillers are for wimps (and all of that might actually be true) - but when all said and done... we have a medical problem, we seek medical help.

And yet, when we have a business problem, why do we think we have to know what it is in order to get help with it?

Time and time again, I see women feeling ashamed about being confused about the problem.

They know they have a problem, but they don't know what it is, and that stops them getting help.

So they say to themselves (or even to me, if we're in a conversation already) - 'Oh, I totally want to work with you, but I just need to work out what I need to do, or what to focus on and then I'll come'.

And I smile... because it's backwards. (And also an excuse... they rarely come back, and they still have the problem the next time I see them)

We tell ourselves the big little lie that we have to KNOW the exact words for the exact problem - but that's not how it works in other areas of your life.

You go to the doctor, and say - 'these are my symptoms, what's wrong with me?'. You don't have to KNOW the name of the problem to go to the doctors, you just need to be clear that something is wrong and that you need help.

And it's the same when seeking out help for your business.

When I hear the symptoms that you tell me about with the problems in your business, I know what the problem is from the symptoms - you don't need to, but I do. And that's the point. Don't let the fact that you don't know what the problem is stop you from seeking help... ask for help, and a great business coach or consultant will know great questions to ask you to help you diagnose and put you on the right track to solving it.

Little Lie 2 - 'I have to make it pretty'...

I posted a few months back about the fact that back in the days, your granny would remind you to wear clean pants (er... always!!) in case you got run over and everyone would see them and judge you mercilessly for having scummy underwear.

I'd heard the expression, but didn't understand it until a wonderfully wise member of my network explained about washing practices, starching and whitening (the Daz adverts when I was young now make so much sense), and how someone was judged on the 'whiteness of their whites'.

And it seems that same mindset and concern has sunk into the world of business, with women believing they need to 'pretty up' their problems before asking for help.

Like saying to themselves when sick 'Oh no, I'm far too sick, I can't let the doctor see me like this, let me wait until I am a bit better, then I can go and see her'

Really?

Really! - But you're sick now!

And this little lie damages business through delay.

The fear of being judged and letting guilt and shame drive their bus will cause many women to keep going around in circles trying to make it a little better, so that they can look a little better before they ask you for help. Getting it all organised and pretty!

I know exactly what it feels like when things are going so wrong that you feel ashamed... but that's exactly when you need help the most.

You cannot lose face with me, because I don't judge you. I also don't tell you you're wrong - even if you've done wrong things or have some wrong ideas.

All I'm here for is to remind you of your power and to give you support to start moving in the direction that you want.

Little Lie 3 - 'This HAS to work'...

The pressure women put on themselves in business is INSANE.

And I get it - as social contracting would rather that you were barefoot and pregnant all the time, deciding to do other things sees us more harshly penalized for our mistakes.

But the pressure we then add to it does us no favours

And I often see women having 'do or die' approach to seeking out help. Stating 'this HAS to work' or it's doom and gloom.

And it's a lie, that causes tremendous damage, because it makes things way more 'high stakes than it needs to be'. Now you might thrive under that pressure, after all pressure turns coal into diamonds we're told. But I'll leave the wise words of my amazing friend and client Madeline McQueen, of Q Squared Ltd right there for you...

You are not a rock, so stop adding unnecessary pressure. But more importantly - stop distorting the situation and turning it into what it doesn't need to be.

What you are doing now might not be working... so doing nothing is also doing something. The reason that you are focused on this, is because there's an outlay you can see involved. But what about the outlays you can't see. The cost of delay, the price of inaction. It's all there, you're just not focused on it.

Yes, seeking help that actually helps is important. But if you choose correctly (and that starts with the right person with the right skills), any help is better than none. And the right help can change everything.

So while I'll never ask you to mortgage your house to show me you're serious (yes, I've heard that one before) or to sell one of your kids... I do expect you to take it seriously, and Lord knows that I will too - and that's why it'll work... not because you are doing your best Kamikaze impression paying the money.

NEED is a powerful energy to put out there, and that desperation is not vibes that you want around the problem or the solution... so releasing attachment around the outcome gets you the freedom and creativity you need to get the outcome that you want.

Little Lie 4 - 'The time myth'...

We are all trying to make a living and build our businesses, and the time lie is one that hurts women a lot. We want to be sure that we are getting the best deal, and so focus on the time things take to do something.

But the time is not the point.

If you have a sick child... and the doctor gives them a 20 min consultation, accurately diagnoses a rare but treatable condition, gives them the right medication and they are cured... Did the doctor give you 20 mins?

No, she did not.

She gave you all those medical school years, all those sleepless nights, the time she went to a lecture and heard about a weird disease that looks like something else, that you might see once in your medical career, but will absolutely be worth it when you do...

She gave you knowing the right questions to ask

She gave you years and years of practice to be confident in that diagnosis.

She gave your child their health.

And she gave you a cure for your sick child. And what is that worth for you?

The time I spend face to face with my clients, pales into insignificance when I consider the years of experience, practice and mistakes I have spent so that I can make a difference so quickly.

It is nothing compared to knowing the right questions to ask, and then knowing what to do with the answers that I get back.

Or the research that I do on their individual businesses and situation, or compilations that come after.

And it's nothing compared to the value that I bring to change and transform their businesses and lives.

The time myth hurts because you think that more time equals more impact and more value... which shows you've misunderstood impact and value in the 1st place. Once your child is cured, your child could spend a day with that doctor, and they would have not further impact to help them in that problem... because the solution has been found. So the time spent won't help.

This little lie has got you obsessed with the clock instead of with the value that you can have. Don't let the time rob you of the best times in your lives.

Little Lie 5 - 'It's got to feel good...'

I'll keep this one short, because I've written about this before (Why you should welcome a Wobble), but what I will say is this...

Feelings are not the best predictor of future success - your brain is designed to help you survive, not thrive... so when you are taking actions to help you thrive, it will actively work against you to keep you safe. We'd lover for everything to look like this picture here, but that's not how it works

So some of the best things I have ever done have been preceded by trepidation and tears, because I was so afraid, and it felt awful. In the moment.

Paying for anything hurts (that's the part of the brain that fires up according to the behavioural marketing whizz that is Kenda MacDonald of Automation Ninjas. Costs fire up pain in our brain... so the way that we reduce that pain as service providers is to increase value (which dulls the pain sensors)

But it will make us pause for a moment

It won't always feel good

But not everything that feels good IS good.

And many things that feel bad are actually the very best thing for us.

So this lie keeps us hedonistic and guided by our pleasures... but being out of our comfort zone does not feel good. But everything we want lies outside of our current comfort zone, so resistance and anxiety are telling you something different from what you thought.

Don't let these lies stop you seeking out help or doing amazing things in your business. Check them and allow the truth to move you forward to that breathtaking future you want to build.

Take a stand against these little lies with big consequences, and PM me if you need help in your business today.

?? Do you see these little lies come up in your prospective clients?

?? What other objections do you hear from those interested in working with you?