5 Limiting beliefs holding you back from being the best "YOU"

Being the best “YOU”

This is part of a “LinkedIn pilot” called “Series” I am very proud to be part of that select group to run the pilot

I will be publishing an article once a week in the series titled “Being the best YOU”. Every week’s article will shed some light on how to become your best version either as a person, leader, or business owner to live the life you always deserved to have.

I am looking forward to your engagement, sharing your opinions and ideas and most importantly to you reading the series.

If you enjoy it, hit the SUBSCRIBE button to get the articles fresh of the press every week

The first post in the series was “You are not your past”, the second post was “Living in the moment, living in the present”

Limiting yourself

In order to become who you are destined to be, you need to let go of who you think you are. The real growth is when you are able to let go of the false identity that you assumed others expect you to be.

The false identity comes from your fear of not being liked by those around you. With FEAR no love exists either to yourself or to others

My question to you is: Have you ever asked yourself if you are carrying beliefs that are actually self-limiting, self-sabotaging and false - just to appeal to others preventing you from being happy?

So you are not always honest with family and friends because you do not want to hurt their feelings or you do not want to be judged, as a result:

·        You keep getting frustrated

·        You do not ask for what you want so you won’t be turned down or get rejected

·        You don’t pursue your dreams for fear of failure?

 These beliefs about yourself, about how the world around you works, about you deserving happiness, love and success are rooted deep inside of you from your childhood experiences, they are centered on your emotions, dreams, and relationships.

Many of those beliefs still run your life as adults, they are a perception of reality, or something you were told that you had no reason to doubt; and most no longer serve us.

Our brain tries to keep us safe and protect us from getting hurt or suffer a setback that is how and why fear keeps us from adventuring in status quo.

 These beliefs are limiting factors and are not rational they are a defense mechanism and preventing you from loving a better life.

 In order to become the “BEST OF YOU”, you need to face the music, and it starts by acknowledging that you have either one or more of these limiting beliefs as a first step to find a remedy.

While there are many limiting self-sabotaging beliefs. I am discussing the top five in my book:

1-   Fear of being judged:

No matter how much you try to please everyone around you, you will never be the cup of tea for everyone and people will always going to judge you no matter how great you are, no matter what you do or refrain to do.

You can never please everyone because everyone is different in their views and opinions.

Best way to handle this is to own who you are un-apologetically, inside out, the good, bad and ugly. You will never be able to please everyone, you should just worry to please yourself.

Once you do that and find your authentic self, you will not worry anymore about anyone else’s opinion as you will stay in your own truth.

2-   Fear of being rejected:

You do not ask for that promotion or that increase of salary at work, or you do not ask your partner to move to the next level in your relationship because you are scared of being rejected basically you tend to avoid a situation in which you can experience rejection which then puts you at a higher risk for loneliness.

As if your self-worth is related to either being heard or accepted or not; you need to know that it is not the truth, it is just a perception.

Human beings associate rejection as not being loved or accepted, or as if nobody wants to be around them, we are social animals at the core that need that feeling of being loved and belonging.

To handle this, you need to realize that sooner or later that rejection will come. So rather than fearing it or avoiding it, you need to change your mindset about rejection and start thinking that it is a path to learn how to do better. You can adjust and redirect your energy in the right direction.

Avoiding to ask for what you need so you don’t have to face rejection will cut opportunities from under your feet.

Remind yourself of your good qualities and talents over and over to develop resilience against rejection, knowing that rejection is not only about you but it says a lot about the person rejecting you, that there are other people better suited for you or better working places suited for your skills.

3-   Fear of Failure:

An inner feeling of fear of failing can paralyze you and prevent you from pursuing your dreams or even your happiness. It is one of the biggest barriers to success. We are taught since we are infants to be careful, to watch out. It translates in our young minds as living in a dangerous world that if we attempt anything new we are more likely to fail.

Failure is usually associated with loss and being losers instead of looking at not succeeding at something gives us a better chance to know what to do next the right way.

Redefining failure is the first step towards remedying this limiting belief, it is about changing perspectives. Failure might be the door that opens to show you the way to success.

Start thinking about the worst case scenario that can happen and prepare for its consequences. Any result you get that is not the predicted worst case is a win, learn from the mistakes and move on to turn the failure to success. 

4-   Fear of success:

It sounds oxymoron but the fear of success is real. People fear that success will change them, or they will become mean, selfish, arrogant and not spiritual and that money can only be acquired by indecent means.

Some believe that seeking a lot of money is greedy or that they do not need a lot of money to live a great life so they limit themselves. The brain will do what you as it to do using what you feed it, when you put limits in whatever you do, you start pushing your brain towards scarcity and this is what will guide it consciously and unconsciously

We are all destined to be successful. The danger of this fear or belief is that it starts convincing you through self-justification on why you are not or should not be successful

Switching your mindset to gratitude for everything that you have opens the gate way to abundance

You need to be standing solid on your feet, making good money and be successful to have a better chance to be there and support the people you care about

5-   Fear of losing control:

It is the fear that if you do not manage controlling the outcome of future events, something terrible will happen.

You demand certainty or at least a big part of it in a world that is most of the time uncertain. This creates anxiety that brings a lot of stress. It is rooted in insecurity.

It is also the need to stay on top of “everything” and manage the circumstances and people around you. That can lead of you to try to micromanage everything and everyone around you, and it will turn people away from you creating more uncertainty and stress in your life.

Change is the only constant in life and only through change that you can grow and become the person that you were always destined to become.

Again the solution here lies within you and changing your mindset. Start by trusting yourself, knowing that everything is unfolding as it should, have faith that things happen for a good reason even if you do not see it that way at the time.

You will need to cultivate courage to achieve serenity in accepting yourself with the possibility of being flawed yourself and love your perfect imperfections

Our brain is our first line of defense, our survival mechanism, it makes sure that we are not exposed to any harm or hurt either real or perceived based on the script that our minds are programmed into.

It keeps us in our comfort zone, to protect us against discomfort or pain, even if it is logically the worst that we can do to our self, doubts, limiting beliefs and fear start manifesting themselves in many formats preventing us from moving forward and keeping us stick in a rut

The good news is that what you have learned can be un-learned if you make the choice to do that, it is not easy and never happens overnight.

You can start that journey with one little baby step knowing that you will not be comfortable, that change will happen along the way, that you will be operating outside of your comfort zone, that you might discover things about yourself that you will not like, you might go through some pains to rewrite the script of the story you have been telling yourself in your life so far, but I promise you it is all worth it, one step at a time, move at your own path, achieve your own dreams and live the life that you have been longing for

 The life you desire is just few steps away, is around the corner once you choose to stop for a second to live in the moment and ponder or question your mindset and belief system that controls your decision making or reality-making process. You are not defined by your past and your future is brilliant if you choose to make it so.

Are you ready to start the journey of becoming “ BEST of YOU” version yet?

This is the third piece in my series “Being the BEST YOU” part of the LinkedIn pilot "Series". Subscribe to the series to receive a notification when the next articles are published.

My name is Sahar Andrade, I help organizations increase their employee engagement by investing in Diversity/Inclusion practices as well as through Leadership Development.

I also help successful Individuals that are stuck to reinvent their lives with courage, release their fears, get clarity on their purpose and pursue their dreams.

My teachings, my unique education and experience combined with singular approach to realizing change, form a proven system for long lasting positive transformation. My methodology is based on human psychology and research to break down issues, reverse engineer them, and deconstruct personal myths, while developing personal leadership skills development. It is a simple step by step program, modules, exercises, one on one and group coaching.

I am the author of “49 things about Entrepreneurship: That experts do not want you to know” on Amazon.

This is my TED TALK : Overcoming Negative Thoughts

I am the founder of “Sahar Consulting, LLC” and “Reinvent Yourself to Greatness”