5 Life Lessons from High School

High school is an incredible thing. For some, it marks the darkest days of their lives as they constantly fear being judged, worry about heartache, dread getting into confrontations with bullies and can't seem to get away from drama. For others, it's a time of coming into their own, being celebrated and revered, making friends for life and often thinking back to high school as their glory days.

I had a mix of both. I had my fair share of anxiety and celebrations, and a balance between being judged while coming into my own. Like most people, I think back to high school and find myself reminiscing about times that were much simpler. During one of these trips down memory lane, a few incidents came to mind which led to a few realisations about everyday life at the workplace.

I was blessed to go to a school that thought differently from the rest, that challenged the Indian education system and forced students to think outside the box. We were immersed in plenty of extracurricular activities and spent a fair amount of time with our noses somewhere other than between the pages of a textbook. Our teachers behaved more as mentors rather than disciplinarians, and classroom sessions were a time of thinking and introspection rather than rote learning.

It's no surprise of course, that such great stimuli led to some pretty interesting realisations, a few of which I apply almost every day.

1. Celebrate Communication, Not Language

It's a widely held notion that the ability to speak English fluently has a direct correlation to someone's intelligence. During school, we had "extempore" sessions, during which students were called up to the front of the class and were given a topic or an idea, which they had to verbally express in less than 30 seconds without any preparation. Some of my classmates that spent their free time with English novels excelled at these sessions. Others, that weren't inclined to read a lot and spoke Hindi at home, often fell behind.

Mr. Arun Kumar Singh, the gentleman that taught us about the nuances of Hindi, Sanskrit and the basic rules of life, once flipped the session and asked us to speak in Hindi. And when he said Hindi, he meant Hindi. Not a single word of English was allowed to sneak into our dialogue.

That day, several students that were far more comfortable with Hindi put forth their thoughts and ideas in an incredibly articulate and structured manner, a side of them which we'd never seen when having conversations in English. As half the class sat in shamed silence, there was a very clear take-away.

Judging people based on which language they are most comfortable with has absolutely nothing to do with their intellect. Their ability to express an idea or thought clearly in that language however, is far more significant. To this day, when I encounter people that don't speak English or Hindi as their first language, I find myself focusing more on the core of what they're expressing rather than the words which they choose to express it in.

2. Fear is a Short Term Solution, Respect Lasts a Lifetime

A lot of lessons also came on the football field, a place where I spent far more time than I should have. Due to my excessively competitive nature on a sports field, I found myself getting frustrated and agitated even during the most meaningless of kick-abouts. Yes, I was that guy on the field. I promise I'm not any longer.

Due to one of these frustrations, I once lashed out at a team member, using language that was unsuitable for a school football field. Mr. Amit Pandey, who taught us Mathematics and Logic, was present on the field that day. He immediately whipped his head to me, and after telling me off for the language I used, he said, "He'll listen to you now, but I bet he'll never want to be on your team, and neither will anyone else that's watching. Captains and leaders encourage their teammates, they don't berate them."

He was of course, 100% correct. Fear works a short term motivator, and will get your colleagues and teammates to listen to you in the moment out of the spirit of getting work done and getting it over with. But in order for them to want to work with you again, and for them to recommend to others that you're a good person to work with, you have to build a rapport out of respect and encouragement.

3. The Ability to Apply Skills Across Disciplines Sets You a Notch Above the Rest

One of the extra-curricular activities at school was dance. The girls loved it, and the guys hated it. We were taught an Indian classical dance form, called Kathak that primarily focused on rapid foot movement, with plenty of full body swivels and arching. It was an art of finding balance in tough body positions. One moment you were focusing your weight on a single foot, the other you were on the toes of both your feet.

I never looked forward to dance classes, until one day when I realised that the ability to learn to balance myself in difficult positions would massively pay off on the football field and basketball court. I embraced Kathak that day and took it a lot more seriously.

Five years later, after I got a degree in Computer Science and went on to do an MBA, I applied the same thinking and continued working on and keeping up with HTML, CSS and JavaScript during my MBA classes. Today, I'm lucky to be incredibly comfortable discussing website builds and database management solutions with vendors for clients.

4. Smart People are Remembered, Kind People are Treasured

There were a few incredibly smart people at my school, and in my class. I never felt it more than during Biology lectures, where I can now with absolute confidence say that I understood pretty much nothing. Perhaps it was my lack of interest in the subject, or the fact that I never thought I'd have any practical use for what was being taught in class - or that I just wasn't someone that would find comfort in the subject. Of course, I had plenty of respect for the smart people, for they were showcasing an ability to comprehend something I couldn't wrap my head around, even if I tried.

After I finished school, went to college and came back to my hometown to visit family, I'd often bump into students that were a few grades behind me in school. In all of my conversations with them, they'd always ask me about two people - Amitayu and Vyankatesh - two of my closest friends at school, and two of the kindest ones as well. I was never asked about the exceptionally smart classmates, but always about these two.

Amitayu and Vyankatesh had a way with people. One was a comedian, the other a straightforward honest guy that cared for his friends. To this day, whenever I bump into someone from school, I'm always asked about them. The intelligent ones made a short-term impact on everyone, but the kind ones were more than just remembered. People wondered what they were doing, hoping to hear good news about them.

When given the choice between being intelligent and kind, try and be both. But if you have to pick one, pick being kind. People will treasure you and want to have more to do with you if you show the ability to empathise and be kind.

5. Find Strength in Packs, But Never Comfort

Mrs. Sandhya Pande, someone that successfully made us understand the difference between an isosceles and scalene triangle, used to make us work in groups. She strongly believed that making people solve Math problems together exposed individuals to different ways of approaching a problem. It worked well, until one day, seeing how everyone in my group was solving problems quickly, I began to coast.

She was incredibly sharp and picked up on it after a few minutes, and asked my group to stop, and let me solve the next three problems myself. And if I wasn't able to, the entire group would lose points in that exercise. I was put on the spot, and because I'd begun to coast and lose focus, I only managed to solve one out of three of those problems, costing the team dearly.

Dr. Krishen Bhan used the opposite approach. He ensured that everyone worked individually and used their own brains to come up with solutions to problems. He tried his absolute best to get us to use logic and reasoning to solve "riddles" in his intense sessions. There was absolute silence throughout as everyone tried to reason through the problems he put across to us. He expected absolute focus, and nothing else would do. A slight wrong movement could cost you your life. I exaggerate. Maybe only a little.

These two combined experiences taught me the power of groups, and the necessity of individual strength. There's always comfort in working in groups, but if you can't get something done without the support of a team, if you can't carry yourself across the finish line, execute as a lone wolf - you'll often find yourself in difficult situations.

These experiences and lessons would not have been possible without the amazing faculty and classmates that I had at Progressive Education, the school where I spent seven of my formative years. I was blessed to have teachers that didn't just teach me, but educated me; and classmates that supported me and were crucial to so many of the lessons I learnt. I carry all those lessons and more with me to this day.

What life lessons did you learn in school?