5 Life Changing Lessons from a Pivotal Year

Oh how I love and hate To-Do lists! I bet you have them too. Don’t you get the feeling that they are everywhere? 

My never ending to-do lists are kept on post-it notes scattered across my work notebooks, stuck to walls near my home working space, tucked into books that I am reading, or jotted in my mind when I wake up in the middle of the night. 

These to-do lists have defined the day-to-day: checking off the items on the list is a sense of accomplishment, a sense of control over a year when so much was out of my control.

With all these lists, I reflected recently on what would be on my future ‘Not-To-Do List’ – what life changing lessons have I learned in this pivotal year that I can finally release, lighten myself for the years to come? 

My 5 Life Changing Lessons Learned – Forming my Future ‘Not-to-Do’ List Are:

1)     Know your tribe. Through the year, I learned who my ‘go-to’ people are – they are the ones that I called when I felt overwhelmed and who gave me support from near & afar; they are the ones I called when I was exploring new roles who made introductions, gave me advice, prepped me for conversations; they are the ones that I turned to when I had new business ideas for Conscious Inclusion or for The Shine Collective, a Non-Profit I co-founded, who jumped on board without hesitation and joined me in these new adventures; they are the ones who showed who gave generously of their time and love, without conditions, without expectations. You know who you are ??

2)     Savor the small moments. Each year I try to select an animal or a word that represents the year I want to have. At the start of 2020, I chose the word ‘savor’. I wanted to make a conscious effort to be there for the moments of my life that mattered: being at the dog park with my Goldendoodle cutie “Sunny” and watching him play; sitting at the dining table with my son and being fully engrossed in our conversation; intentionally cooking; listening when someone was speaking. Being present gave me a chance to truly 'savor' the small moments and I realized, in the midst of busy or difficult times, our life is filled with blessings. These moments are now a part of my daily gratitude.

3)     Vulnerability builds relationships. There’s so much research that when we do things for others, that our own mental health strengthens. So too, I feel, that being vulnerable with others builds strength – emotional, mental strength, and creates a common bond. My ability to smile despite the many hard moments of 2020, drive results every day and bring authentic optimism to daily life is only possible through my sharing my experiences, troubles, and challenges with others: asking for advice and leaning on those that are my tribe.

4)     Find the positive energy. I know. This seems so simple. The song that accompanies my alarm is ‘Three Little Birds’ by Bob Marley & The Wailers (Don’t worry about a thing; ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right…). In a year with so much out of our control, I learned that the outcome will be the outcome – you can only drive it so far, you can only control what’s in your control, so release that which is not coming naturally. As one of my former leaders at The Estee Lauder Companies used to say “It isn’t a question of ‘if’, it’s always a question of ‘when’”, so focus on where the energy is inviting and positive in the meantime.

5)     Sweatpants lie, jeans don’t. Okay, I think this is obvious. I learned that it’s a good move to put on the jeans once in a while, it’s a good reality check!

With these lessons learned in place from a pivotal year, my word for 2021 is ‘Embrace’.

Embrace the uncertainty, embrace the opportunities, embrace your emotions, embrace the messiness, and when you can, embrace those you love.