5 Lessons I Would Teach My Younger Self

When I hit 40 years old last year, it felt totally bizarre. As expected, everyone had an opinion about this big milestone: they warned me I was going to be “over the hill.” My body would start aching the very second the clock hit midnight. All of my hair would turn grey immediately. All the warnings had been creating some anxiety building in me, but when it happened, it felt so...normal. Nothing changed. In fact, being in a privileged position of living with a health coach, I eat and train better than ever before. My energy is much higher now compared to my 25 year old Dominoes-eating self (no offense Dominoes - it tasted great).

Why does society put so many negative expectations on ageing? We see it everywhere in our life, including the workplace, where ageism has become a real thing. Everyone gets older - but that doesn't mean we have to accept being labeled or buy into the misconceptions that our life is automatically headed in the wrong direction.  

In the end, it all comes back to perspective: how you view the world will shape your level of potential joy. This is as true now as it was 20 years ago, and will hopefully still be true for me in another 20 years. If I could turn back time, right out of a scene in “‘Back to the Future,” here are the 5 lessons I would teach myself:

1.Age is just a number: It may sound cliche but it is the truth - and the younger me, who experienced so much pressure and concern around ageing, would benefit from knowing it. There is no “Age Boss” on this planet. Anyone judging what you can do based on age is projecting their own insecurities. When we are young, we are expected to wait our turn and expect things to change with time. We often lose the chance to be truly courageous and explore the world. There is no better time than when you are young to travel to far-off countries, to try launching a business, to meet tons of people and to speak up for yourself. The best time is always “now” - but if it’s later, that’s fine, too. Age is just a number.

2. Work smarter, not harder: This is a tough one. I do believe in the value of hard work. But the secret that so many need to hear: you shouldn’t feel it! If you are following your passion and your WHY, work will integrate directly into your life seamlessly. Your projects will have a vibrance to them. Following your passion is key. Searching for ways to break the conventional norms of society’s expectations for you is essential. 9-5 is a mirage that doesn’t need to exist. Your best work will always come when you’re working smart, on something you’re passionate about. Follow your own path and find ways to accomplish more with less. 

3. Find mentors - fast: Here is a paradox: when we are younger, we often have amazing mentors surrounding us - but we rarely know it! It often takes us decades to realize how one of our teachers, sports coaches or first bosses was providing lessons we would end up taking with us forever! Learn to have an open mind and heart: don’t underestimate how powerful some of these guardians are. The best mentors in our lives don’t need to be external, far-removed, idolized people; often, they are often right in front of us. Tap into their intelligence and wisdom. Ask them so many questions that it becomes almost obnoxious. And find ways to give back to these leadership gurus. One day you may very well find yourself in the same position.

4. Create a network: Building relationships is a huge part of being successful. Who you decide to spend your time with will greatly influence your outcomes. Start young and find peers who inspire you. One easy trick? Associate yourself with people who are 1-2 steps ahead of you: just far enough where you know you can one day reach their level of success, but still close enough to connect with them. Share experiences and ideas. Some of these groups have many names: Masterminds, Forums, Roundtables, etc. - but you can build your own group, formally or informally, at any point. Research, connect and speak to as many smart people as you can. From there, build your community.

5. Practice Meditation + Mindfulness: Surprised this made the cut? I still meet many naysayers of these superpower tools that require a whopping 0$ as investment! The benefits of practicing these techniques are endless, and they’ve been fully proven by now. And yet, the younger me would have just assumed - like many of us do - that mindfulness and meditation are somehow reserved for older people? Science has taught us that we can literally rewire our brains to think and feel the way we want: it’s in our control. Sure, we can wait until we are 40 or 50 to start leveraging these magical tools for the betterment of our lives (age is just a number, after all!) But why wait when you can start now and transform your perspective? Start now!

If we knew all of this, the journey would not be the same. It does take life experience to understand why these things are important - and life somehow always seems clearer in hindsight. If you’ve already learned a lot over your years, dedicate time to help young people in your community learn faster than you did. It is a very rewarding path - one that works in reciprocation. Give and you shall receive.

--------

Shawn Johal, Business Growth Coach & Leadership Speaker