5 Lessons I learnt over the Summer of 2023

A personal reflection on living well, being a better leader and more compassionate human being

Some of you may have noticed I have not been present on LinkedIn for some time or been in attendance at any events. Sadly, my wife Nicky passed away on 17th July 2023, very suddenly, after fighting against a rare lung condition for the last 18 months. Nicky was a ray of sunshine, my best friend, soulmate, and the love of my life. The deep void I feel is impossible to put into words, but I live on with the cherished memories of our 19 years together.?

Today, September 4th, my 2 young kids (aged 10 and 6) return to school, and I return to work after taking the summer off. I am incredibly grateful to the amazing team I have around me and the friends and family who have supported me over the last 4 months.

Losing someone runs deep, physically and mentally. It also provides a level of clarity and focus on what is truly important. It gives us an opportunity to truly step back and see what perhaps was not visible before. To bring a new focus on what is needed.

As leaders, myself included, we can lose sight of the why and become consumed with driving forward, lost in the excitement of what is next. As I re-enter the world of work and begin my own healing journey, I want to share five lessons I've learned over this time which I hope give us all a new perspective on how we can live well, be better leaders and more compassionate human beings.

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#1 Have we really recovered from lockdown?

Lockdown placed such a huge burden on us all, personally and professionally. As leaders and business owners, we were all faced with the continual rollercoaster of finding our way through the daily news bulletins and changes in rules. Working out how to survive or move forward, carrying the burden of making tough decisions. Pivoting was the word of the day then, and I certainly did my share of it.

For me, I dug deep, worked hard to keep our business going and find opportunities to move and build as the digital economy began to take shape. Then, when it all began to lift the reality of what next? Focusing on rebuilding and keeping moving forward. Sometimes riding the highs and sometimes recognising the lows.?

Although I have stopped and reflected and learnt a lot from those times, I do not believe I have ever sat and recognised the trauma of what those times represented. Both personally to my family, myself as a business leader and to our business and those who work within it. As leaders, boards, and teams, have you spent time reflecting on those events, taking time to step forward well?

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#2 Life is one long curveball

I would put myself in the category of being a highly resilient person. I can manage a lot. Juggle an enormous workload and work under a huge amount of pressure. In fact, I would say I thrive in these situations.??

Life throws us a lot of curveballs, some expected and some that come from nowhere. But coping with change is very different to living with change. When we cope we have our heads down and react. When we live we are looking up, moving with caution but at pace, expecting change to come at every moment. Business is forever changing and transforming, meaning we need to lead with a more agile mindset. Work with all our senses and not just driving for a single goal.?

How much do we really think about the realities of the world around us in managing our business day to day and strategically? For example, what is the purpose of 5-year strategies and goals – how many of them do we actually deliver against? Would it not be better to focus on the next 12 months and build with the success measures that matter in this quarter, this month, and this week? Life and work are a journey, and we should enjoy the adventure and see where it goes rather than determine that there is a destination.?

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#3 Purpose is everything, but don’t forget yourself

I have always been a purpose-driven individual, and finding my path has been an important part of my life. My Master's dissertation was titled 'How to Stay True to Myself, My Work and My Community'. Staying truthful to ourselves even featured in my wedding vows.?

Creating a more equal and fairer world through the work of Digital Wonderlab and guiding my boys to adulthood are the two key purposes that guide me. As entrepreneurs, the hardest challenge is staying true to your purpose and to yourself. Never selling out, losing sight of why you are here.?

As leaders, how often do we check in on why we come to work each day, and why we give so much? How often do we give time for ourselves? To take that coffee with a friend, sit and have a day or week of reflection or just take an hour out during the day for lunch and no work. Giving ourselves the gift of time and taking it is so important. I diarise an hour out each day to make sure I have it. I didn’t used to take it, even now I feel guilty about taking it. Now that 1 hour is the only hour in a day I get to myself, and I will be taking it every day.?

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#4 Be More Compassionate

We learned quickly in lockdown to be compassionate. To connect and support those around us. When tragic events happen like death people are quick to offer support. Then daily life takes hold and we quickly forget those in need. I have found greater compassion, practising mindfulness to help me be more compassionate for those around me and be grateful for what I have and not focus on what I don’t.

We can all learn to be kinder, more compassionate and offer a helping hand to those around us – to be strong citizens. So, if you have not checked in with a colleague, a friend or family member. Now is the time. As Bob Hoskins used to say in that famous ad on the TV “It’s good to talk”.? ?

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#5 Live in the present

Stopping was the biggest change in my life. Living now for today. Living and experiencing life today as though it could be our last is so key. We feel we have so much time, but time can disappear so quickly. Being present now is something I thought I did until I stopped and realised my head was always in tomorrow. Living today for what tomorrow might bring rather than living today for what today is.?

Making time, focusing on what is important. Creating the space for the experiences you want rather than focusing on what should be done. As I step back into working life, I notice even now that pressure to jump right on in. I am attentive to what is needed for me and for others but also to ensure I bring joy. After all, this is the only life we have and this moment right now is the only moment in the present. The rest is in the past or the future.?

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So, as I return and find my feet, I look forward to reconnecting with you all. To hear about your 2023 and explore new futures and collaborations that can create a fairer and more equal world.?