5 Lessons from Lucy Sheridan

Last week, I spoke to the absolutely wonderful Lucy Sheridan.

She is the world’s first and only comparison coach, and I can’t tell you how insightful I found her.

These are my 5 key takeaways - though I could have gone on forever:

1. Social Media is the Las Vegas of comparison.

?Seek it out and you shall find it - easily.

If you already have a tendency to compare yourself to others, social media is only going to fuel that.?

But that’s not to say that you should steer clear of the digital world altogether. By knowing yourself and understanding your comparison triggers, you can craft a social media experience that works for you.

2. Digital Detoxes are not the answer.

Lucy isn’t a fan of the digital detox, and after speaking to her, I’m not sure I am either.?

She describes it as a panic button - something we press to eject ourselves from a situation rather than actually confronting the problem at hand.

Instead, we need to be taking personal responsibility for our feelings. We need to be looking at what it is that makes us feel bad and ask ourselves why.

In doing so we are equipped with enough information to take back control of our digital experience. It allows us to manage the problems at hand and build habits around social media that help us feel good about ourselves instead of feeding the monster of comparison.?

3. Think about who you follow.

There is a lot of emphasis placed on the unfollowing of accounts that make us feel badly, and whilst there’s value in it, Lucy encourages us to consider this as a short-term solution.

Instead, our focus should be on encouraging people to think carefully about who they choose to follow in the first place.

It comes back to the point about taking personal responsibility for our feelings. We need to spend as much time interrogating what it is that makes us feel good as we do considering the things that make us feel bad. We need to get to grips with our values, drivers, and the things that bring us joy and motivation.

We then need to be following people with these things in mind, asking ourselves what having this person’s perspective on our feeds will add to us.

After all, we are the ones telling the algorithm what to show us, so by being intentional with that follow button, we are able to push it in our favour, feeding it things that are reflective of our values instead of things that tear us down.

4. The comparison gap can be a good thing.

There's actually a lot to be learned from the things we compare ourselves to.

It’s only through seeing what other people have and that gap between us and where other people are that we learn what we want and begin asking ourselves how do we close that gap. What it can show us is that what really excites us, which helps us to set our own goals.

Instead of being a stick to beat ourselves with, other people become what Lucy calls PIPs - proof it’s possible. And in that sense, social media and the variety of lives and experiences it gives us access to can be a really positive thing.?

It introduces us to different perspectives and pathways to success, which in turn can become an inspiration for our own - when we have the tools in place to feel good about ourselves.

It’s when we are feeling low in confidence that the perceived gap between us and them seems too big to fill.

5. Values are fundamental.

I cannot stress enough the importance of knowing your values. It’s something I didn’t work on until later in life, but something I know would have helped me in so many ways had I known to do so earlier.

What Lucy says about them in her episode really solidifies this:

Comparison wants to take us outside ourselves - knowing your values helps to keep you grounded within your own life.?

They are what Lucy describes as Prized Personality Pillars - something to anchor ourselves to, grow with, and check in on.

It gives you confidence because you know what’s important to you and by intentionally living them, you are helping to shape your own success. In turn, you are able to see other people’s success as a reflection of them and their values, rather than a reflection of your perceived shortcomings.

You can listen to the full episode here: https://bit.ly/3dFfg1C