The 5 Keys to Stop Faking It and Start Making It

I was young when I started my first company, and I had no idea what I was doing. I had heard the phrase, “fake it until you make it” so many times, I internalized it as sound advice, and that’s exactly what I did. I hid behind a veneer of confidence and acted like I had it all together, all the time. I was definitely faking it.

There are so many problems with this mentality that I can only begin to list them. To start with, I came across as insincere. I wasn’t opening myself up to valuable learning opportunities by asking questions, and I was putting so much pressure on myself I forgot to enjoy the successes. 

When you think about it, the “fake it until you make it” mantra is not only ridiculous, it can be damaging. Fortunately, I have learned a lot since that first business venture, and I am (hopefully) a better person and a better leader because of my experiences. 

One of the most valuable things I have learned along my entrepreneurial journey is that faking it is just never a good idea. It’s not honest, stunts progress, disallows you from receiving helpful feedback, and is just really stressful. 

Let me share five keys with you that can help you skip the “faking it” phase altogether, and start making it in business the right way.

1. Be real, not fake

In her wonderful TED Talk, Brené Brown says, “In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.” Connection requires being real. In a world where online interactions are the norm and people show only the bright and shiny parts of their lives and personalities, authenticity is an increasingly valuable trait. Where you are in your entrepreneurial journey is ok, and there is nothing wrong with it. It isn’t good or bad. It simply is. Embrace it.

Allowing your team and even customers a glimpse behind the curtain allows them to feel a genuine connection with you and your vision. Establishing relationships based on truth instead of an assumed persona gives your organization a foundation of trust. From here, team members can rely on you and each other to get the job done without feeling pressure to hide or be fake. 

2. Focus on your strengths

It is really easy to focus on all the things we aren’t. We can get bogged down by the expectations we put on ourselves and those we think others are putting on us. The truth is that you have some amazing strengths. You wouldn’t have started a company if you didn’t. It’s easy to feel like an imposter. If you focus on what you don’t have, don’t know, or haven’t yet experienced, you will constantly feel like a fake.

Stop focusing on what’s missing and start focusing on the strengths you have. Here are some I am sure you have:

• The courage to start something new.
• The ability to accept risk and even embrace it.
• An indefatigable drive that keeps you going when others would normally quit.
• Passion for making the world a better place
• Vision and understanding what the market needs and how to address it. 
• Willingness to work hard

You don’t have all the answers and that’s ok. You don’t have to. Don't pretend like you do.  Instead,  be open with others about what you want to learn. In fact as the leader it’s better not  to have all the answers and skills. Accounting, legal, and HR are handled much better by those who are trained to do those things than you. 

If you fake your bookkeeping processes, you could wind up in jail. If you fake it through legal hurdles, you could lose intellectual property down the road. Working with people who know what they’re doing will help your business thrive much sooner than it will if you try to learn and do everything yourself.

Celebrate what you do well, stop pretending you have all the answers (no one expects you to), and rely on experts for important aspects of business. It is not a sign of weakness to admit you don't have all the answers, but rather a sign of leadership strength. 

3. 80/20 rule

The sentiment of faking it until you make it I believe has good intentions––do things outside your comfort zone until you develop the expertise you are looking for. It is important to stretch yourself and step outside your comfort zone. It is also important to do it in a calculated manner that won't hurt you, your clients, or employees. Through trial and error at my first startup, we came up with the 80/20 rule (no, NOT the Pareto rule). 80% is the percentage you are confident in, and 20% is the allowable stretch. This keeps everyone in the zone of innovation while making sure you can deliver on your promises. 

Always be learning yet do it in a way that allows for success. 

Learn it until you earn it. 

There is another 80/20 rule (the Pareto Principle) that applies here as well. We all tend to think that the harder we work, the better results we get. Research does not support this notion especially if the 80% of our efforts are in maintaining the image(fake it). The traditional 80/20 rule states that 80% of outcomes come from just 20% of causes, efforts, or people. 

In other words, faking it, and focusing on the wrong things, won’t help you get ahead in business. Instead of feigning confidence, spend the time and effort to dive into the data of your company and find out what is working and what isn’t. Shifting your efforts to the 20% of inputs that are generating the most income and momentum will help you work smarter instead of harder. 

4. Show compassion for yourself

You are doing something that has never been done before (at least not in the way you're doing it) in a market that has never existed, with a new exciting product, just like Michael Jordan trying out for his Jr. High School basketball team. He was new to the sport and actually got cut from the team that first year. Because of his diligence, drive, and passion he became the greatest basketball player ever to live. 

Have compassion for yourself exactly where you are at in your entrepreneurial journey. If MJ kept beating himself up over not making the team, he would have never become the Hall Of Fame athlete he is today. Can you imagine if he kept saying in Jr High School, "Why aren't I MVP of the NBA?" It makes no sense, yet we do that to ourselves in business all the time. Accept where you are in the journey and enjoy each step, realizing that learning and even mistakes are part of the process.

Instead of stressing about all of the things you aren’t doing, think about what got you into business in the first place. You have a unique set of skills and characteristics that led you to this point in your career, and odds are, you’re pretty good at them. Celebrate successes––both yours and your team’s. This mindset will boost morale and give everyone more motivation to achieve goals. 

5. Stop being and start becoming

If we think we have to "be" something based on our own or someone else's expectations of us, we will always worry about appearances versus reality. Imagine climbing a mountain like Kilimanjaro. You would never say to yourself, "I feel so dumb because I'm not at the summit yet," when you are only taking your first steps beyond the Marangu gate at the base of the mountain. As silly as this sounds for mountain climbing, it is commonplace in the startup world. We beat ourselves up for not being on the summit on day one.

If you are trying to appear to be at the summit in the beginning, and then hanging on for dear life when you do reach the peak, you aren’t really moving forward. Think about it:  staying at the summit means pouring all your efforts into being stagnant. Don't be stagnant,  Find your next mountain to climb! It's important to celebrate the accomplishment fully, but don't let it define you. Titles and labels (good and bad alike) can be very damaging.

I was named Entrepreneur of Year,  40 under 40, and other awards all in a short period of time. I let these titles define me and wanted to hold on to them as an indication of my entrepreneurial value. The next year, someone else was Entrepreneur of the Year, and someone else had the magazine article all about them. 

"Being" is static. "Becoming" is dynamic. It's always changing, it's exciting, it's rewarding, it's magnificent. Learn to appreciate the awards and recognition and then let them go.  You are too busy looking ahead to tomorrow to look back on yesterday. Be honest with yourself, and appreciate exactly where you are. There is no shame in being on the mountain regardless of whether you are on your first step or 10,000th.  The fact that you are anywhere on the mountain is glorious.

Any of these strategies are a much better plan than faking it until you make it. Taken together, they will help you move beyond inexperience and a sham of confidence to truly be the entrepreneur you envision yourself as.