5 Extraordinary Lessons that I Learned from the Worst Boss I Ever Had
Alexander Carrasquillo Guzman
PMO Leadership | Portfolio & Program Management Expert | Organizational Development | Agile Methodologies | Founder of The Healing Man Cave | Coaching | Lean Manufacturing | Process Improvement | Proud HSP | Author
Bad Bosses Can Teach Us Great Lessons to Become Extraordinary Leaders
During our careers, we will interact with dozens of Directors, managers, supervisors, and whatever title another human named others to oversee your R&Rs (roles and responsibilities) in your organization; but let’s call them bosses in this story. Some will be great; understand their position and strive for your personal best to support your development and life-work balance, adding joy and purpose to your career. But everything can happen in a VUCA (volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity) environment. ?Other leaders, well, you probably experience the misfortune of working with a bad one who misunderstood his R&Rs and thought he oversaw your life.?
Once upon a time, I believed I could only learn from the most outstanding leaders and inspirational bosses I encountered in my career path. Until I worked for Adolf, I realized I could take advantage and learn relevant, life-changing leadership lessons from even the worst bosses.
It may seem a paradoxical concept, but no. Learning from bad bosses was the inspirational method I used as the first aid kit to survive that uncertain time and maintain and keep track of my career and spiritual and mental health. I learned from his mistakes and what?I would not do to others as a leader.
Having that in mind, let me tell you what I learned from Adolf, the worst boss I ever had. Some of this storyline is narrated in the voice of Magno, the book’s main character: “ Magno: El Viaje al Corazón de un Líder” (Spanish Version).
This is Adolf, The Worst Boss I Ever Had
Before I began reporting to Adolf, I had never interacted with him. Nevertheless, I had heard good feedback about him. There’s such a good thing that I desired to work in his organization at some point.
Adolf was sociable, cracking jokes always; he sat at your site in the cafeteria to gain your trust, proposing exciting conversations. He was a natural storyteller with a beautiful sense of humor; he also was kind. Adolf has it all, guys, a genuinely “motivational” person.
Nonetheless, Adolf was the other side of the coin as a boss. He was terrible, disorganized, neglectful, and lacked attention to details about his actions and consequences.?In short, he was a total disaster in his professional aspect.
So, regardless of his “friendly personality,” his leadership competencies were subpar, to say the least – in correlation to how high he was on the organization ladder.?
I worked for Adolf for three and a half years. That period provided me with firsthand experience of working under a really bad boss's leadership.?There were moments when I would ask myself:
This work-life experience taught me many suitable leadership lessons and reaffirmed my virtues, work ethic, and leadership skills that I already knew I had but needed to believe more in me.
Here are those five things:
1. A Job Opportunity is not necessarily a Development Process; Not All Roles and responsibilities are Adequate for Everyone
Adolf used to be an upper management boss near his retirement. His performance was declining. Instead of providing genuine feedback to support him, Adolf Boss passes the ball and assigns him to another R&R at a lower management level. Nobody takes care of him to overcome his flaws. Probably it was easier to transfer the problem to other hands. With that demotion, however, Adolf suddenly became responsible for an organization ten times lower than the role he had held for the prior year.?
The results of this situation become apparent after just a few short months – because of that demotion, Adolf went from being an upper-level boss of a massive team to being an overwhelmed head of the smallest organization. The demotion was too far, too soon, without any feedback or support to manage that transition.?Perhaps with a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP), he would have the time to settle and learn from his setbacks to better adapt to the new R&Rs.?Although, after watching him struggle for three years, it is more likely that Adolf interpersonal, leadership skills and talents were not suited for the new endeavor.
Ultimately, watching Adolf’s situation demonstrated that not all people are fit for all roles, projects, or functional areas.?While Adolf had his strengths and talents, masterfully filling the new lower role was not one of them.?He has too many years in upper-level management that demotion at that moment of his career was just unacceptable for him.
In a demotion or a promotion, we need to be more critical and selective; we must be to ensure we hire the?right?talent. A genuine leader must support uncovering people’s purpose to unleash their potential. Purpose can unlock unique hidden talents and virtues. A work environment that supports and focuses on people’s purpose can lead to the following:
I also learned from this particular that we need to be a coach and mentor for our people, no matter the management level you are on the organizational Ladder. Serves as a guide to people to unveil their:
2. Be a Role Model, Whit High Standards to Generate Trustful Relations
After the first month of the new assignments, Adolf’s conduct becomes more and more evident. He was not present or accessible to the new team. He communicates with only his past upper management bosses and doesn’t make himself available to address team and project needs. Sometimes, in meetings, he expresses his misfortune and frustration with the new R&Rs, making the team feel inferior and nullifying their opinion and contributions. He doesn’t accept the demotion and the area and crew. It was just punishment, an anchor for his career path. In addition, he also demonstrates a lack of technical, compliance, and decision-making knowledge. His decisions were not assertive or in compliance. The team provided different alternatives, but rapidly, he stepped over by stating: “This is my decision, and at the end of the day, I’m not responsible for explaining them; by that moment, I will be retired.”
It doesn’t seem right that team members have escalated this situation to other bosses. Unfortunately, they are Adolf’s past partners or direct reports and don’t take the team’s feedback seriously. The following are some of the statements of other bosses after the escalation process:
But what I learned from this?
Be a Role Model:
High Standards are for All:
Generate Trustful Relations:
Leaders need to be coherent:
Building trust in a relationship takes time and massive effort. But it is achievable if the leader has a genuine purpose of delivering results through others. The following are some simple actions that I learned from Adolf, not because he does them, but because of the lack of them and my desire to have these experiences with him:
3. Connect with Your Team and Delegate Efficiently
Regardless of how he became a lower-level boss, in Adolf’s defense, he never had the opportunity to present a performance improvement plan.?He was near to accomplishing the extraordinary milestone of retirement. He deserves better, a chance, and not to be discarded; what about their past accomplishments? Is this the way that organizations treat persons near retirement? Those are some of the reflection questions that I ask myself. Although he went to great lengths to show he could satisfy his new responsibilities, it was noticeable that Adolf was uncomfortable in the new role.?He struggled to keep on track with essential and critical things. Adolf’s conduct gradually affected the organization underneath him as time went by.?Eventually, it hurts team morale, and team members become frustrated by the lack of clear direction, misleading messaging, and the perception of total disorganization.
No matter how often team members offered support and new ideas, Adolf left us on the sidelines. I was frustrated seeing how Adolf made one terrible decision after another; the team felt overwhelmed, and there was no other place to escalate the situation. Genuinely Adolf tries to fulfill on-time commitments, but he’s stubborn and does not accept team members’ opinions and help. In desperation, he delegates critical activities to members without the knowledge or experience to complete the task and neither provide them coaching nor mentoring to ensure success. He wants to finish at whatever cost. One time, he expressed that if he finished before retirement, he would probably be eligible for a bonus. My God, are those genuine inspirations/compensation for a frustrated, demoted boss?
But what I learned from this?
Connect with your Team:
As a leader, consider this formula: Situation + Person = Leadership style. In other terms, you need to be a situational leader. ?The following are some leadership styles that can help you through the process:
Therefore, the best way to apply leadership styles and demonstrate competencies is by getting to know each team member and recognizing them as unique individuals. These questions will allow you to understand people better:
Delegate Efficiently:
Adolf’s desperation to complete his project duties lead him to delegate to the incorrect persons. But how can we delegate efficiently? The following are some questions that can support you in the delegation process:
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After you have a clear answer to those questions, you can now plan a conversation not to throw more work onto your direct reports’ plates but to have a meaningful and engaging partnership conversation. Follow the following steps to prepare yourself in advance before the meeting date, and avoid improvisation:
4. Provides Genuine Feedback
Adolf has a misconception about what feedback is, what coaching is, and what mentoring is. He tries to do it, but as a result of his conversation, the team feels more like he is communicating an order, a punishment, or just pointing out the team’s flaws without a clear description of the behavior, impact, or path forward. Nobody is a minded reader. If a leader wants his team to perform well, he must give feedback to them clearly and regularly. If the team doesn’t know your standards or expectations, it's doubtful that the person or group satisfactorily completes an objective. Unfortunately, Adolf tends to use the most common way of feedback; it is something called?the sh*t sandwich.??How the sandwich works:
The sh*t sandwich feedback can generate adverse outcomes because:
But what I learned from this?
Plan My Feedback Conversations:
Once you confirm the conduct, non-conforming, or whatever other reason leads you to provide feedback, you can prepare yourself to follow these steps:
Feedback, Coaching, and Mentoring are not the same:
Feedback: is the communication of a well-intentioned evaluation derivate from correction about an action, event, or situation that does not comply with the expected results.
Coaching: The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity, and leadership.
Mentoring: This is a beneficial relationship and should also be sought for career and personal growth, yet it is more directive and is different from coaching, where the coach aims to help you find your answers so you can take ownership of your path forward.
5. You can Learn in a Chaotic Environment
Certainly, Adolf has his own situations to overcome. I think that he just was a victim of the system. It is a pity that he had to experience all those situations in the twilight of his career. In my reflection conversations with Leví (Leví is the 2nd main character that interacts with Magno; in the book: Magno: El Viaje al corazón de un Líder (Spanish version)), I put myself in Adolf’s shoes and start thinking in the following:
I am still in the reflection process about it. Another boss left behind Adolf; he did the same with his team, but their partners took a long view of this critical situation. At some point, Adolf retired, and I feel wonderful for him; I understand he is living an extraordinary life with his family; well deserved, Adolf.
But what was the cost of this situation?
But what is the most extraordinary thing that I learned?
Simple, is called ETHIC, do the right thing regardless of if the results affect me or not. Is every leader ready for this? Probably not. The ego intervenes in human behaviors, and individuals seek personal benefit.
Life will always present situations, challenges, and problems that will put our values to the test. What should we do? Unwaveringly, we attend to those issues without negotiating the values that define us as individuals. In our lives lies the law of cause and effect; every decision we make, depending on where our foundations lie, will have a consequence. It is not necessarily the case that making decisions consistent with our values will lead us to the green pastures of happiness and peace.
This was the case with Martin Luther King Junior, Gandhi, Malcolm X, and Joan of Arc. They defended their values until death. This makes me reflect: Am I a person who thinks, acts, and behaves according to my values regardless of the consequences? Or do my values give up during adversity?
Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius tell us about four pillars that makeup a morality from a Stoic philosophical perspective. This foundation constitutes the virtues that every human being should consider in their walk-through life:
Wisdom: we need it to know what is coherent with our being and what is not; in this way, we will be able to choose the values that best represent us. Wisdom helps us to place ourselves as observers in certain circumstances or situations in which we have to see ourselves from a general point of view. The Stoics divide wisdom into:
Justice: it is the second pillar of Stoic morality. Justice, as understood by the Stoics, is not to comply with the law but a mixture of ethics, equity, and honesty. It is to respect, give every one what is theirs, and practice wisdom in the face of injustice. Justice is divided into four subcategories:
Courage: this is the third pillar. It can be called courage and is the act of doing what is right in unfavorable situations, such as danger or pain. According to the Stoics, courage should be manifested both physically and mentally. On the physical level, it protects us from the harshness of the external elements, and on the mental level, it builds strong willpower that makes us comply with our values when life takes us out of the path we had established. Courage is subdivided into:
Temperance: the fourth and last pillar. Temperance is the control we have of our emotions and ourselves. Equanimity and wisdom in the face of passions and vices. It constitutes self-confidence and autonomy in the face of life's setbacks. The Stoics divide temperance into:
The subject of moral and ethical values is a hot topic and a good one to discuss with a good group of people who have leadership in academia, churches, organizations, and communities. As leaders, Let’s reflect on these questions:
If we all asked ourselves these questions from time to time and genuinely respected others, this world would be a better place. Let’s spread love instead of fear. We are all beings of light, living a mortal human experience. May our lives not be wasted, pointing fingers at each other. Adolf, you were the perfect teacher the universe sent me to make me a better person and professional; I owe you a lot.
Magno,
?Reference:
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Feminine Dating Coach | Irvine Company | Clinical hypnotherapist | 3 presidential campaigns | 111K+ audience
8 个月Amazing topic and story wow let's talk more about this on streamyard
Sr Principal Engineer Packaging CoE of Americas at Kenvue
9 个月Great article Alex. Thank you for the work.