5 Changes I am Making Right Away, for My Mental Health as a Brand?Leader

And I hope, they will inspire you to make some changes for you too!

Here are the 5 things I failed to do in recent times and without further ado, I share them as they are and what I am doing about it.

Prioritize inner-happiness. (one)

GUILTY.

In simple words, I am good at ignoring myself and what brings me joy, all the while spreading smiles, encouraging others and being one of the best cheerleaders people can hope for.

Result?

Despite accomplishing abundantly for many, a feeling of emptiness takes over right when I am celebrating for them, and the realization of having completely ignored my own personal and professional aspirations.

CHANGE …

Now this isn't really a change but more of returning to my original, authentic and true-self. I still remember I was just 6 when I declared to my parents in a self-painted 'sign-board' for my room's door that read, 'First 2 Hours are mine' (Although, it actually read, "1-2 ours our MY" because at that age that is how perfect my written English was. I am still proud though!)

I am never giving the first two hours of my day to anyone, for anything, at any time or any cost - financial, emotional, social or otherwise. The only exception will be extenuating life circumstances, where my people will unquestionably always find me by their side.

The first two hours are for my dreams, my choices, my fulfillment and to live this moment on my terms and build my future on my hyper-intentional terms. No negotiations, no compromises, no favors will change that.

When I lived my life by that rule, I was the happiest and most confident in my life.

I am reclaiming that, right here, right now!

Promise less, do more. (two)

GUILTY.

I am a dreamer. I am a schemer (hey, only in a good way..!) My motto itself is, 'Dream Big, Make It Happen, INTENTIONALLY!' - but, since being manipulated into becoming a chronic people-pleaser it became a 'reflex' to let people know what I am doing for them, how much and how big it is.

Oh, what a terrible faux pas that has been!

Result?

It is out of the newly developed 'people-pleasing' pattern I started sharing every plan? - be it for myself or for them (and we know 'making myself the last priority' pattern meant it was mostly about them) - and before I knew I was sharing plans before it was time to execute them. You see, all dreams need a concrete blueprint and an action-plan. Then, each action needs to take place in a sequence, at the right time, in the right way. However, people pleasing pattern makes you share too much, too soon, too often creating an impression that you are promising things - but the reality, you are just sharing the excitement - unfortunately to keep people assured that you are working hard for them - too often messing up the order in which certain plans were to be executed.

Then, you struggle with making it happen as fast as they assumed it will happen. Rome was not built in a day, but then there were not declarations of how soon it will be built and in which order the building process will happen. Then again, I cannot really compare myself to emperors and filthy rich kingdoms, can I?

The point is even though I did not mean to, I ended up giving an impression that I was making promises and not fulfilling them. I have still always fulfilled all the promises I made, but in the recent years, I have shared too much, too soon, which often created a misunderstanding of the timeline - at times making people anxious that not enough is being done.

Those who were patient, saw the outcome and realized that I kept my word and they continue to be happy with what I made happen for them. Those who weren't - got up and left only to return much later with regret but by then they had said and done things that burned the bridges and I refused to work again with them.

But I cannot ignore that I made the mistake of sharing too much, too soon creating expectations that caused them frustrations because they did not happen at a pace they assumed they would. We fu**ed it up, together.

I completely take the ownership of my role in the misunderstanding and miscommunication.

CHANGE…

Oh this one is far more simpler than anything else.

Right now, right here, I go back to - share just enough, at the right time - get it right, get it done. THEN, share more, rinse and repeat.

Say less, do more, let them experience more than they were expecting. EVERYONE wins.

Your story and feelings matter. (three)

GUILTY!

At least since 2014, I told myself that my story does not matter and my feelings are better off kept contained in a time-capsule buried a thousand feet below the 'no one cares' ground. I suppressed my own expressions - making myself a doormat open for anyone to walk on, at any time and any way they wish. I silenced me.

Result?

That is who I became - a silenced, victim, unhappy, under-confident being who only and only highlighted and spotlighted the stories of others and made their feelings my priority while duct-taping my own expression and throwing them away in a dark closet.

You know well, how that impacts one's belief in oneself.

CHANGE…

I am not silencing and censoring myself anymore. Not once, not ever.

I am not giving myself excuses of 'but I must appear to be professional'. Being professional does not mean I have to stop feeling the feels and living the sentiments I carry within me.

So, starting right now, with this article itself, at least one of my post everyday will be about what I feel and what is my story - whatever that means on the day. Among professional, educational, motivational, marketing, philanthropy and more … at least one of my message will talk about my dreams, my story, my thoughts, my outlook and my experiences in life - just as they are - without censor or filter.

Because my story and feelings matter. They really do. They define who I am.

Time-off is TIME OFF. (four)

?GUILTY! GUILTY! GUITLY!!!

And the worst part - because I did not honor my time-off in the last half a decade, I ended up making others around me feel like they cannot honor their time-off either. It was not my intention, not by far - but it happened. There were signs. There were subtle hints. I look back? now and realize, I ignored them … and it impacted more people, than just me.

Result?

Unhappy me. Unhappy them.

People cared and supported me. But they started feeling exhausted of trying to stay 'forever on' because I was forever on.

This weekend, some deep conversations with my longest time mentor and best friend made me realize this, (and I suspect I already knew it but my people-pleasing and ego combination was making me live in a denial) and I am truly ashamed of ignoring what was so much under my control and had no reason to go on this long.

It did. And I am deeply sorry!

CHANGE…

A single step and decision to honor is - Time-off is TIME OFF. No further explanations required.

Stop being a ‘digital product’. (five)

GUILTY!

Despite uninstalling almost all social apps, work-tools and other distracting features from my digital devices, I have found myself going back to 'be online' via my desktop .. Spending long hours in office studio knowing, "I won't be able to access these once I leave office" .. Effectively making the 'no apps' plan an epic-fail.

Result?

I still remained connected more than I should have been.

I still saw the notifications at times I shouldn't be seeing them.

I still over-worked or remained over-present on digital spaces when I should have been with my people, my things, my dreams, and most importantly just resting or living outside the machine world.

Burnout is not the right word … I prefer to call it 'The Digital Blackhole' by allowing myself to be a digital product rather than being human with a finite capability of connection, communication and engagement - completely ignoring my need to 'just be' and actually LIVE a life rather than being LIVE all the time for everyone else to consume.

CHANGE…

This goes back to the 'time-off is TIME-OFF' but more in relation to even if it not time-off, I do not need to be a digital product available for consumption on-demand.

Instead I need to honor my true-self - being an introvert, who needs their space, time and oxygen to re-build, re-charge and re-alive myself when I am ready. - and I do not need to be omni-present, at all times, in all places, for all people who 'maybe' wanting to engage with me.

NOT ANYMORE.

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Here's a visual summary and I think it will help you too.

So with that, I am glad to share, I have already begun these changes (or reclaims) since the Saturday that just went by and I will continue to and this time, there is no going back, no compromises, no negotiations.

Because, when I am living my true-self, I will be available with my true capabilities, and deliver with my true potential - on my hyper-intentional terms, by being kind to myself and others.

XOY - SZEBASTIAN -

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Credits:

Experiences, lessons, teachings, work, wisdom and more aspects of several people helped me get here, on top of my own self-work. They will be able to see glimpses of their own work and words in this article and in upcoming work of mine, I will share their stories and role in my story as I reclaim and re-share my unfiltered me.