5 Bad Habits of Successful People (1/2)

The trouble with success is our previous success often prevents us from achieving more success. If you are a successful person and want to take your career to the next level, this article can help you.?

All successful people have bad habits, and if we behave in a certain way and achieve the desired goal, we naturally think we should act the same way again. We believe our success has happened because of this behavior. These bad habits have clearly not stopped you as you have climbed the ladder of success. You don't even realize how strongly your negative behavior is impacting others.?

Bad habits always hold you back from being the best version of yourself. The same behaviors that helped us get to one level; may not be the behaviors needed to reach the next.?

Getting rid of bad habits is a process and will not happen overnight. If you want your bad habits to go away for good, you have to work on them.?

Peter Drucker said:?

“We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don’t spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half the leaders I have met don’t need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.”

The Higher You Go, the More Your Problems Are Behavioral

Jack Welch has a Ph.D. in chemical engineering, but any problems he encountered in his last 30 years at General Electric were not related to chemical formulations. When he was striving for the CEO job, the issues holding him back were strictly behavioral—his brashness, blunt language, and unwillingness to suffer fools. General Electric's board of directors didn’t worry about his ability to generate profits. They wanted to know if he could behave like a CEO. When people ask if the leaders can really change their behavior, the answer is this: As we advance in our careers, behavioral changes are often the only significant changes we can make. Most annoying interpersonal issues in the workplace and help you figure out which ones apply to you.

·?????Adding too much value

·?????Starting with No, But, or However?

·?????Playing favorites?

·?????Speaking when angry

·?????Punishing the messenger?

1.????Adding too much value?

Overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion. Imagine you are the CEO. I come to you with an idea that you think is very good. Rather than just pat me on the back and say, “Great idea!” your inclination (because you have to add value) is to say, “Good idea, but it’d be better if you tried it this way.”

The problem is, you may have improved the content of my idea by 5 percent, but you’ve reduced my commitment to executing it by 50 percent because you’ve taken away my ownership of the idea. My idea is now your idea—and I walk out of your office less enthused about it than when I walked in. That’s the misconception of added value. Whatever we gain in the form of a better idea is lost many times over in our employees’ diminished commitment to the concept.

It doesn't mean bosses have to zip their lips to keep their people's spirits from falling. But the higher up you go in the organization, the more you need to make other people winners and not make it about winning yourself. For bosses, this means closely monitoring how you hand out encouragement.

2.????Starting with No, But, or However?

A few years ago, the CEO of a manufacturing company hired a coach John for their COO. The COO was talented but stubborn and opinionated. The first time John met with the COO to go through his direct reports’ feedback, his reaction was, “But John, I don’t do that.” “That one is free,”

?John said. ??????“Next time I hear ‘no,’ ‘but,’ or ‘however, it’s going to cost you $20.”

?“But,” he replied, “that’s not . . .” “That’s $20!”

“No, I don’t . . .” he refuted. “That’s $40!”

“No, no, no,” he protested.

“That’s 60, 80, 100 dollars,” John said.

Within an hour, he was down $420.

It took another two hours before he finally understood and said, “Thank you.”?

If this is your interpersonal challenge, you can do this for yourself just as easily, as John did for his clients.

A few years ago, John taught a class at an automobile headquarters. One of the men in his class mocked him when John mentioned this problem, we have with “no,” “but,” and “however.”

He thought it was easy not to use the words. He was so sure of himself that he offered $100 for each time he used them. John made a point of sitting with him during the lunch break.

John:????????????? Wherefrom you are?

Executive: ????????????????Singapore.

John: ????????????????????????Singapore??That’s a great city.

Executive: ????????????????Yeah, it’s great but...

He caught himself and reached into his pocket for cash, saying, “I just lost $100.

3.????Playing favorites:?

John asked a group of leaders, “How many of you own a dog that you love?”

Big smiles cross the executives’ faces as they wave their hands in the air. They beam as they tell him the names of their always-faithful hounds.

Then we have a contest. John asks them, “At home, who gets most of your affection? Is it

(a) your husband, wife, or partner;

(b) your kids; or

(c) your dog?

More than 80 percent of the time, the winner is the dog.

John then asks the executives if they love their dogs more than their family members. The answer is always a predictable but big no.

Follow-up: “So why does the dog get most of your attention?”

Their replies all sound the same: “The dog is always happy to see me.”

“The dog never talks back.”

“The dog gives me unconditional love, no matter what I do.”

Then John told executives a personal story.?

"I travel at least 200 days a year, and my dog, Lucy goes crazy when I return home from a trip. I pull into the driveway, and my first inclination is to open the front door, go straight to Lucy, and exclaim, “Daddy’s home!”

Every time, Lucy jumps up and down, and I hug him and touched him, and make a lovely concern over him.

One day my daughter, Kelly, was home from college. She watched my typical love with Lucy. She then looked at me, held her hands in the air like little paws, and barked, “Woof woof.”

Point taken.

If we aren’t careful, we can finish up treating people at work like dogs:

Rewarding those who gathered unthinking, unconditional admiration upon us. What behavior do we get in return? The net result is obvious. You’re encouraging behavior that serves you, but not necessarily the best interests of the company.

You’re not only playing favorites but favoring the wrong people!

4.????Speaking when angry

Anger has its value as a management tool. It delivers the clear message that you give blame which employees need to hear on occasion. But at what price? Emotional volatility is not the most reliable leadership tool. When you get angry, you are usually out of control. It’s hard to lead people when you’ve lost control.

A Buddhist legend tells of a young farmer who was covered with sweat as he paddled his boat up the river. He was going upstream to deliver his produce to the village. He was in a hurry. It was a hot day, and he wanted to make his delivery and get home before dark. As he looked ahead, he noticed another vessel heading rapidly downstream toward his boat. This vessel seemed to be making every effort to hit him. He screamed furiously to get out of the way, but it didn’t seem to help.

He yelled at the other vessel, Change direction, you idiot! You are going to hit me. The river is wide. Be careful.

His screaming was to no avail. The other vessel hit his boat. He was very angry as he stood up and cried out to the other vessel. “You fool! How could you manage to hit my boat in the middle of this wide river? What is wrong with you?”

As he looked at the other vessel he realized, there was no one in the other boat.

He was screaming at an empty vessel.

The lesson is simple. There is never anyone in the other boat. When we are angry, we are screaming at an empty vessel.

5.????Punishing the messenger?

On one particular drive to the airport, my wife was sitting in the front seat. My children were sitting in the back seat. I was late, driving too fast, and not paying attention. She said, “Lookout! There’s a red light up ahead!”

I naturally screamed at her. “I know there’s a red light! Don’t you think I can see? When we arrived at the airport, she neglected to me for the warmth goodbye or, say nothing at all. She walked around the car and drove off.

During the six-hour flight, I did a cost-benefit analysis. I asked myself, “What was the cost of her saying, ‘There is a red light up ahead?” Zero.

“What was the potential benefit? What could have been saved?” Many benefits came to mind, including—my life, her life, the lives of our children, and the lives of other innocent people. When someone gives us something that has a huge potential benefit and costs absolutely nothing, there’s only one adequate response: “Thank you!”

I landed with a feeling of guilt and shame. I called her and told her my cost-benefit story.

I said, “The next time that you help me with my driving, I am just going to say, ‘Thank you.’”

“Sure you will!” she said. Just watch. I am going to do better!”

A few months passed, and I had long forgotten this incident. Again, I was racing to the airport, not paying attention, when she said, “Look out for the red light!” My face turned red. I started breathing hard. I made a face and then yelled, “Thank you!”

I am a long way from perfect. But I am getting better!

The next time someone offers you advice or “helps you” with something as important as your driving, don’t punish the messenger. Don’t say a word. Stop whatever you’re thinking of saying—unless it’s “Thank you!”

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