5 Allyship Actions You’ll Learn From “The Anti-Ableist Manifesto”

This week, Tiffany Yu shares five simple actions to be more inclusive from her new book, "The Anti-Ableist Manifesto."

A note from Karen: I’m thrilled to introduce today’s guest author, Tiffany A. Yu, MSc . With her highly anticipated book, The Anti-Ableist Manifesto, set to hit the shelves soon, Tiffany brings a wealth of insight and inspiration. I’m constantly learning from her, and I’m sure you will, too. Get ready to be inspired!

Now, let’s hear from Tiffany…

In this newsletter, I’m excited to share five allyship actions inspired by my forthcoming book The Anti-Ableist Manifesto: Smashing Stereotypes, Forging Change, and Building a Disability-Inclusive World, which comes out on October 8 during National Disability Employment Awareness Month (October). My passion for this work comes from my lived experiences with both apparent and non-apparent disabilities and also having worked at places like Goldman Sachs and Bloomberg. These simple but powerful actions can help us create more inclusive environments for the disability community at work and in everyday life. Let’s dive into some actions that can make a difference.

1. Use the word disability when referring to disabilities

Say it with me: disability is not a bad word. Euphemisms like “special needs,” “differently abled,” and “handi-capable” can be infantilizing and add to stigma that disability is a bad thing. At the same time, the disability community is not a monolith and a disabled individual may prefer to use different language when referring to themselves. In that case, use the individual’s preferred language and use the word disability when referring to the community more broadly.

A few years ago, I identified myself as disabled in a conversation, and someone insisted, “You’re not disabled, you’re differently abled!” based on their own projection of disability. This kind of invalidation erases our identities and can be deeply harmful. Follow our lead when we tell you who we are. Check out this post from Jamie Shields who had a similar experience.

2. Instead of offering a disabled person unsolicited advice, ask, “how can I help?” or “are you looking for feedback, advice, or someone to?listen?”

As someone with a paralyzed arm, I get frequent comments like “Have you tried surgery to fix your arm?” or “You should just cut off your hand.” Yes, that is a real comment I’ve received.

Offering advice without being asked often feels diminishing. It suggests that we haven’t done our own research, suggests that there’s an “easy fix,” or given without understanding a person’s disability.

Here is a great X/Twitter thread from @SaltySicky that highlights additional reasons and this Reel from Joshua on unsolicited advice he has received.

You can avoid this by asking, “How can I support you right now?”

3. Use the phrase “Let me know if you need anything” when offering assistance

Many people who have apparent disabilities receive offers for help so frequently. Instead of assuming that someone needs assistance, you can use the phrase “Let me know if you need anything.” This phrase avoids embedded assumptions around who needs help and when phrased as a statement, is proactive enough but doesn’t force someone to engage with you if they prefer not to.

A few years ago, when boarding a train in Switzerland, someone pushed me aside and shoved my luggage into storage, then said, “You should really ask for help.” While well-meaning, stepping in without asking can feel intrusive. Many of us have learned to adapt and may do things differently than what you’re used to.

On the other hand, after checking in my luggage for a flight in a different situation, the agent at the counter noticed my wrist splint and asked, “Is there any additional assistance you might need to get onto your flight?” I didn’t need help at that moment, but I appreciated the care behind the offer.

This is a great video on how assumptions that we make about disabled people are harmful.

Instead of jumping in to offer help, let’s proactively use, “Let me know if you need anything.” It gives the person the choice while still offering support.

4. Instead of “What’s your disability?”, ask “Do you have what you need to fully participate?”

I have gotten the questions “What’s wrong with your hand?” and “What happened to your hand?” more times than I can count. While I understand the natural curiosity around my wrist splint, our disabilities may be as a result of something traumatic that we don’t want to revisit or retell.

Many disabled people do not want to talk about their disabilities or answer intrusive questions about their medical history.

It’s more helpful to ask, “Do you have what you need to fully participate?” This way, you’re focusing on access and participation without making someone feel put on the spot.

Intrusive questions like “What’s wrong with you?” or “What’s your disability?” don’t provide us much information and can feel jarring. Focusing on access allows us to offer support in a way that feels safe and empowering.

5. When creating job descriptions, focus on what’s truly essential for the?role

Focus on essential functions that are required to do the job. Focus on what needs to be done and not how the candidate needs to do it. I’ve included some examples of job requirements that might exclude candidates with disabilities and alternative descriptions to you can use instead below:

Row House Publishing includes the following statement on their jobs page: “Note on accessibility: We at Row House believe that every person?—?no matter their background, identity, or disability?—?should have equal opportunity to pursue gainful and fulfilling employment. If any of our application guidelines do not meet your access needs, please email us here and let us know how we can assist you in applying for your desired position.”

Thank you for reading and for committing to learning and growing as an ally. Together, we have the power to create a more inclusive and accessible world?—?one action at a time. If you enjoyed this, please consider preordering my book. I’m also offering some bonuses including a signed copy and free art print if you preorder from the Asian and woman-owned bookstore Yu & Me Books and an exclusive digital companion guide to deepen your understanding.

— Tiffany Yu (she/her)

Being an ally is a journey. Want to join us?

• Follow @BetterAllies on Facebook, Instagram, Medium, Threads, X/Twitter, or YouTube. Or follow Karen Catlin on LinkedIn
• Read the Better Allies books
• Form a Better Allies book club
• Get your Better Allies gear
• Tell someone about these resources

Together, we can?—?and will?—?make a difference with the Better Allies? approach.