49 Things I Believe at 49

I'm turning 49 this weekend. Here's 49 things I currently believe. (And it's ok if you don't.)

1. In the end it will be about the people we loved. And nothing else.
2. You can’t love or lead well without empathy.
3. You will make mistakes. Big ones. Embarrassing ones. Ask forgiveness.
4. Regarding number 3, forgive yourself too.
5. Ego is a motivator of youth but it doesn’t have the firepower to sustain you for a lifetime. Let it go when you can and find the next motivator.
6. Find at least one dog to love in your lifetime and learn from him or her.
7. When you want to shout, whisper.?
8. If just one person loves you - really knows you and loves you anyway - that’s enough.
9. Something hurt you terribly early on. That hurt shaped you in good and bad ways. Name it and do all you can to turn it into a force for good in your life.
10. Pleasure in moderation, but lots of it.
11. Wise people know that there is something important they are sure of that they are wrong about, but they don’t know what it is yet.
12. You don’t need to become a parent for your life to matter, but kids teach you even more than dogs so invest in at least one for a lifetime.
13. Money makes you a little happier to a point but then it suddenly doesn’t. Note when that day comes and find out what really makes you happy.
14. If your politics or religion makes you hate people then it is a cancer that will eventually destroy you. (Related - most people hate a subgroup of people but don’t admit it to themselves.)?
15. If you say something (like the Bible) “clearly says” and yet there are a lot of people who have doctorate degrees in that subject disagreeing with you (and each other) then you may possibly be right about what you believe, but it doesn’t clearly say it.
16. There are two kinds of people: those who think about their own death too much and those who don’t think about it enough. Adjust accordingly.
17. An old-fashioned face-to-face conversation is the remedy for most conflicts. (Conversely, conflict in written form is the worst kind of conflict.)?
18. If you can afford it, bump up your travel expenses - especially for family vacations.
19. We simply aren’t built to handle the amount of information we receive on a daily basis.?
20. Cats are ok.?
21. Music is magical.
22. If you are able, walking is better than driving for short distances - especially when the weather is nice.
23. It’s very rare when any relationship lasts a lifetime so cherish those that do and don’t put that pressure on those that were meant to be beautiful for just a season.
24. Have grace on the person you used to be.
25. Make friends with people different from you.?
26. You have undeserved advantages that you didn’t earn.?
27. Animal Farm is the best leadership book.
28. You’ll never be younger so do stuff young people do now.
29. If someone is grieving, just being with them is enough.
30. Compliment people on specific attributes of their character whenever you can - and don’t make it about you.
31. Jealousy is always, always about you.
32. Every decision people make is emotional and based on the story they are telling themselves at the time.
33. Self-aware, broken people are generally the best people to be around.
34. If you like your steak medium well but order it medium rare to fit in, just stop it.
35. Nobody wishes they had worked more hours on their deathbed.
36. If you want to be an artist or actor or writer or musician then start.
37. Try a food that you don’t like 5 times over 10 years. If you still don’t like it, you don’t like it. Never try it again.
38. Silence and solitude are soul-healing.
39. Journaling with a real-world pen and paper every morning will clarify most of the confusion in your mind.
40. Get therapy if you need it. And get therapy if you think you don’t need it.
41. You can skip one or two dentist appointments before you will regret it, but after that it’s gonna cost you.
42. Tell your very best friends that they are your very best friends - privately.
43. Two things can be true at once…like being a vegetarian is noble and In-n-Out Burgers are life changing.
44. Want to say yes when you talk to people.
45. Take an improv class.
46. Figure out what your biggest regret would be if you die tomorrow and arrange your life to change that.
47. Have holiday traditions, but break them for good reasons.
48. Some people won’t like you and if you dwell on them for long enough you won’t like you either.
49. I’m for sure wrong about at least one of these.