46: You Can't Take Away the Boy from Me
Theo Smith
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Welcome to this week’s neurodiversity newsletter! I’m Theo Smith, your host and neurodiversity advocate. In this newsletter, we explore the challenges and joys of embracing neurodiversity, share personal stories, and discuss important topics such as AI in recruitment.
Today's title 'You Can't Take Away the Boy from Me' was following a conversation I had today with another AuADHDer (Autistic and ADHD). We shared our backgrounds and experience and had some similarities.
Without thinking much about it at some point I said 'You Can't Take the Boy Away from Me' in reference to my childhood experiences still influencing who I am today. Now that may sound obvious, but when you connect that to trauma, stress, and some very vivid emotions, feelings, and memories, it takes on a whole different perspective.
Sometimes I feel like I literally become the boy I once was. In meetings when asked to write on a board the trigger, the memory, the trauma is real, and in that moment I can still turn from Theo the award-winning author to Theo who can't speak properly and can't write or spell!
So I literally can't take the boy away from me!
So it might make sense that this week I've been considering my place in the world, the impact I make and the care and nurturing of my children and indeed myself.
Nurturing my remarkable Autistic and ADHD child, whilst not losing myself along the way
Being a parent of an ADHD/Autistic child is a challenge.
Here are some of my life lessons...
Looking after their needs and developing their skills whilst also trying to develop your own can feel like an uphill struggle!
Every day as a parent adds a new layer to the journey of life. Here's a snapshot of the lessons I've gathered while nurturing my remarkable Autistic and ADHD child, whilst not losing myself along the way:
? Embracing Complexity: From sleep challenges to emotional expressions, every moment is an opportunity for growth and understanding. Sometimes I can't sleep and wake up in the middle of the night with a busy buzzy brain, why shouldn't they?
? A Mirror of Empathy: My past struggles paved the way for a deeper connection with my child's journey. Our shared experiences have given us a deeper connection. However, I want to protect them from the trauma, the drugs, the dangerous behavior; the shit I went through that I don't want them to have to go through.
? The Power of Stories: Beyond textbooks, the narratives of fellow parents and individuals offer wisdom that can't be found elsewhere. Their stories illuminate the path. As a passionate storyteller, I believe our experiences travel further and impact more positive lives when we share openly our successes and our struggles.
? Beyond Stereotypes: Diagnostic labels don't define the richness of our children's journeys. Embrace the uniqueness that each child brings to the world. With billions of brain cells, we lack enough understanding of the strengths our children have when we only see the challenges. Also, it helps us as parents see positive things about ourselves that perhaps we'd overlooked.
? Navigating Diagnosis: Don’t be discouraged by confusion. Each step is part of your child’s unique story. The assessment process may overlook co-occurring conditions. You know your child better than anyone. Standard diagnoses may not fully capture their complex profile, but they still need support.
? Cultivating Community: Connect with those who share your path. In these connections, you'll find guidance, camaraderie, and a network of support. This can save you so much lost time and energy. It can also help you feel like you're not alone and that you're not going crazy!
? Advocates of Authenticity: Seek professionals who truly understand your journey. Their support can be the cornerstone of your family's progress. But remember they only see your child through a certain lens. They may miss certain challenges your child may face.
? Embracing Positivity: Despite challenges, there are moments of joy and growth. Every experience, whether smooth or challenging, contributes to your parenting journey. It can be difficult to see the beauty amidst meltdowns but try to do so as it will benefit you in the long run.
Together, we're building a world of compassion, understanding, and hope for the future. ???#ParentingJourney?#TogetherWeGrow?#ADHD?#Autism
Love this Theo, to add to the list is to be open… too many people consider their role in society is to judge everyone else based on very little ‘lived experience’ outside their perfect little bubble.
‘Be Open’ is our strategy when ever we are out, or somewhere new… it’s amazing how many allies you have in that supermarket, cinema, pool or restaurant that want to support you and your child, and it also puts the ‘less supportive’ in a group of one, and it’s amazing how quickly they keep their opinions to themselves!
Great post. I’m in that same boat. While I am working hard to make changes in the world for (our kids) the future neurodistinct adult community that they will become, when it comes to actually raising my ND child, I just keep thinking and reminding myself…
“Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.”
A mirror of empathy - really reasonated. Great post.
It's time we celebrated Neurodiversity, and embraced the 'Spectrum' of human minds.
Don't you think?
In the symphony of humanity, each mind is a unique note. Here's a glimpse into the joys and challenges of embracing neurodiversity:
? A Spectrum of Gifts: From Autism to ADHD, every hue of neurodiversity enriches our world. Let's appreciate the diversity that paints our collective canvas.
? Stories That Illuminate: Medical definitions only scratch the surface. Seek wisdom from those who've walked similar paths – they hold the keys to understanding.
? Beyond Stereotypes: Our worth transcends diagnostic criteria. Each person's journey is a masterpiece, defying labels and expanding our collective consciousness.
? Strength in Community: Connect with others who share your journey. In these connections, you'll find a spring of support, camaraderie, and understanding.
? Nurturing Growth: Amidst challenges, there's boundless potential for growth and innovation. Our unique minds are the fuel that drives progress.
It's time we removed the masks, brought down the barriers, and connected on a deeper level.
Let's weave a narrative of unity in diversity, where every mind is valued, cherished, and celebrated. Together, we're creating a world that embraces all shades of brilliance. ??
This point especially connected with me, Theo!
"Stories That Illuminate: Medical definitions only scratch the surface. Seek wisdom from those who've walked similar paths – they hold the keys to understanding."
Lived experience is so powerful. I've learned from people who've trod this path before me and I'm trying to pay that on.
In my own situation, by appearing on podcasts to talk about the stigma attached to being an older (40s) male.
A child of a period when neurodivergency wasn't as openly discussed as today (though we still have a long way to go). Of trying to find space in a society that believed men shouldn't have feelings and certainly shouldn't cry.
And my journey to discovering who I truly am and what I have to offer.
领英推荐
Off topic, but I can't be the only one hoping for Theo to start a ND Hats & Caps Merch line in the upcoming year.
?? Ever felt like you're being watched? ??
How comfortable are you being watched while you undress?
In an age where technology seamlessly intertwines with our daily lives, it's hard not to ponder the delicate balance between convenience and privacy. From AI-powered virtual assistants to Amazon's Alexa and those all-seeing video doorbells, the question of surveillance looms larger than ever.
?? Tonight at 4pm me and?Bill Boorman, with a team of active participants, in London, will embark on an exciting exploration into the realm of Generative AI and its potential role in shaping the recruitment process. In a world where diversity and inclusivity are paramount, we find ourselves at a crossroads: Are we ready to trade a slice of our privacy for a more equitable recruitment landscape?
?? Crafting an Inclusive Recruitment Process ??
Generative AI is showcasing its prowess in transforming various industries, and recruitment is no exception. By sifting through vast data troves and generating unbiased insights, it promises to revolutionise how we discover and nurture talent. Yet, this leap forward comes with a cost – a cost measured in terms of data relinquishment and privacy concerns.
?? Striking the Balance ??
As we step into the realm of AI-driven innovation, we must engage in open conversations about the trade-offs. How do we find that elusive equilibrium between harnessing AI's capabilities for a more inclusive recruitment process and preserving our personal boundaries? What measures can we put in place to ensure data security and mitigate potential risks?
?? The Duality of Progress ??
Just as every coin has two sides, so does innovation. The allure of a more enriched and just hiring process is undeniable, yet we must be cautious of the shadows it casts. How do we navigate this uncharted territory without compromising the sanctity of our privacy?
??? Let's Dive In! ???
I invite you all to join in the conversation in the comments below. Are you prepared to embrace AI's potential in shaping the future of recruitment? How do you envision safeguarding individual privacy while riding the wave of AI-driven transformation?
And how much of your bottom are you willing to show off to technology...
Together, let's unravel the possibilities, assess the costs, and ensure that as we step into the AI era, we do so with our values intact. ????
This post is a prelude to our upcoming event in London, diving into the intersection of AI and recruitment creating a more accessible process.
This image and post had the help of generative AI in its creation. It combined my ideas with it's ability to add an additional layer of context ;O)
Theo Smith - If controlled, and there's the ￡1m question, AI could be great from a recruitment perspective. My concern is that it has started to become an unstoppable beast.
Like most other people I am certainly not an AI expert but if even the expert seem worried about its unchecked progress then we really have to ask the question could it do more harm than good. If we don't know the answer to that, whether in recruitment or in any other field, then we need to stop until we feel comfortable in answering that question.
This sounds so interesting, Theo! I feel like I'm burying my head in the sand with AI and avoiding any and all talk and info about it ??
Nominated for ND Acheiver of the year 2023 :O)
Beyond grateful for being nominated and then shortlisted for this year's Celebrating Neurodiversity Awards as 'ND Acheiver' of the year.
I'm a big believer in celebrating Neurodiversity and those working hard to make a positive difference.
So it's a privilege for me to be considered and included in this year's awards.
The big winner ?? here will be an increase in the visibility and positive representation of Neurodiversity.
Best of luck to all those who've been shortlisted.
And for all nominees congratulations, someone has taken the time and energy to nominate you which is a sign in of itself how valued you are ??
Congrats Theo Smith This is so important. The times neurodiverse people are not given the same opportunities or are not treated the way they should is still way high.
Congratulations Theo. I know how hard you and others work tirelessly in this space, lovely recognition..good luck!
Well I hope you've enjoyed my weekly roundup and I welcome your comments, thoughts, and insights or you're welcome just to continue quietly reading in the background.
Hope you have a great weekend, wherever you are and whatever you are doing.
See you same time next week :O)
Theo Smith
Neurodiversity Advisor at?Dynamis Group,
Neurodiversity advocate, founder of?Neurodiversity at Work Ltd & Neurodiversity World, author of?‘Neurodiversity at Work: Drive Innovation, Performance and Productivity with a Neurodiverse Workforce’??and podcast host of?Neurodiversity with Theo Smith.
Neurodivergent Staff Network Co-Chair and AI Centre Manager at The University of Manchester
1 年That other AuDHDer was me. ?? Theo said it seemingly without realising he'd said it and I immediately picked up on it because I've always felt (even as a parent with a mortage and having had the word 'manager' in my job title for several years) like a child. It was a really useful discussion - thanks again Theo.
Realtor Associate @ Next Trend Realty LLC | HAR REALTOR, IRS Tax Preparer
1 年Well said ?? ?? ?? ??.