The 45/9/45 Method (for more connection)

Without fail, every single client says some version of "I wish I had more time."

I get it.

With the never-ending demands on your time by others, not to mention the time you spend chasing after your personal and professional goals, it can feel like there is no time left to connect with yourself and the people you love the most.

Or you're so exhausted by the end of the day, you end up binging Netflix or staring at your phone.

Last week, I showed the "45/9/45" method to one of my clients who was struggling to connect with his partner.

He loved the simplicity and flexibility of it. So I figured you might find it useful too.

So, what is the 45/9/45 method?

It's a simple framework to make sure you're always investing some time every single day on the growth of your relationship.

Let's break it down.

The 45/9/45 Framework

Saturday: 45-Minute Reflection & Planning

Start your weekend with a 45-minute session dedicated to reflection and planning.

Look back on the past week:

• How did your interactions go?
• Were there moments of tension or disconnect?

Use this time to realign with your goals as a partner (and parent, if applicable).

Then, plan out key touchpoints for the upcoming week—identify one or two areas where you want to make improvements or deepen your connection.

Sunday: 45-Minute Connection Session

On Sunday, spend 45 minutes focused on intentional connection.

This could be a family activity, a deep conversation with your partner, or even some quiet time together.

The goal here is to strengthen your bonds through quality time and meaningful interactions.

This session sets the tone for the week ahead, making sure everyone feels valued and connected.

Weekdays: 9-Minute Daily Check-Ins (9x5)

During the weekdays, carve out just 9 minutes a day for quick but impactful check-ins.

This could be as simple as a morning coffee chat, a quick call during the day, or a nightly debrief before bed.

These micro-moments are about maintaining a consistent connection, showing appreciation, or addressing any small issues before they grow into larger ones.

Why This Works

The 45/9/45 Method strikes the perfect balance between deep, intentional time and daily maintenance.

By anchoring your week with the 45-minute sessions on the weekend, you create a strong foundation.

The 9-minute daily check-ins ensure that your connection stays strong throughout the week, preventing minor issues from escalating and keeping your relationships at the forefront of your mind.

Need a weekly meeting template?: download it here inside my Relationship Rescue Kit.

Consistency is key with this framework. It’s designed to be manageable, even with the busiest schedules.

*(Note: this is not meant to be a one-size-fits-all solution. You can modify this to fit your specific schedule.)

And if you’re looking for more ways to optimize your time and energy, stay tuned for more tips and strategies in my next newsletter.

See you next week.

Inward . . .

P.S. When you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Book a FREE 45-Minute "Impact Session": Have a problem you want to chat about? Need some outside perspective? Get coaching or ask for advice, or just simply learn more about my 1:1 coaching or Men's Groups ... FREE with nothing to offer except the highest value and insights. No selling whatsoever on this call.
2. Listen to the Dads Interrupted podcast (this is the Apple podcasts link): Every episode of Dads Interrupted aims to provide a sense of community in the challenges and triumphs of fatherhood and relationships. Through vulnerable but relatable stories, the goal is to help add value to your life and relationships in some small way. We'd love to have you join us.
3. Schedule a consult call for 1:1 Coaching: I'm not a salesperson. I am a coach looking to make an impact. I'll chat to see what problem(s) you're facing, and if I can help you, I will. If I cannot, I feel it is my job to guide you in the right direction or introduce you to someone I know who can, if that's best for you. Schedule this call if you're serious about improving your relationships and want to see if we're a fit.