????? 44 (+1) Lessons for my 44th Birthday

Last year, a few days before I turned 43, Painted Porch Strategies ' Chief Joy Officer (and my best friend and sage advisor) Sierra Ramm Cantrell challenged me to put together a list of lessons learned over my years navigating this thing called life, work, and all of those places in between.

I immediately went to work on it, but in typical Amy Yack fashion of turning every task up to an "11," I ended up with a list of 79 items (and it continued to grow) ??. Overwhelmed with trying to pick only 43, I placed the list on a shelf and figured I'd get to it "another day."

Well, fast forward 365 of them, and here we are... But this go around the sun, I decided to embrace my 2024 mantra of "Be Bold & Be Brave" and just publish the damn list. Well, at least 44 (+1) of them. I figure I can continue to gather new ones and revise or amend this list as wisdom and learning continue to teach me new things about myself and the world around me or remind me of what I've forgotten.

So, here's the first 44 (+1 because I am never ok with just meeting the requirement...):

1. Be Fearless in your youth...and keep reminding yourself of it as you get older.
2. Life's too short. Drink the "good wine". (Memento Mori, you know)
3. To paraphrase Tony Robbins, when it comes to making that decision or taking that next step, "When would NOW be a good time for you?"
4. Just because what you thought you wanted isn't where you ended up doesn't mean it wasn't worth the journey to get you where you are now.
5. Even if it's in the bag, take the time to prepare
6. No one is thinking about you as much as you think. And, as Alexis Rose once said to David, "No one is thinking about you the way you are thinking about you" (shout out to one of my favorite shows, "Schitt's Creek").
7. Every time you speak, you have an opportunity to make an impact. Put in the work to get your message right.
8. Stop doubting yourself. If you know it, believe in it, and it feels right at your core, do it.
9. Having a budget is actually one of the most financially freeing things you can do for yourself.
10. Start saving at least 20% of whatever you make as early as you can...and I mean AS EARLY AS YOU CAN (like at age 3)
11. Don't cash in your 401k in your early 20s ??. That shit it'll hurt when you're in your 40s when you realize how much further along you'd be in your retirement plans.
12. Study and learn a mental model methodology...and how to use it to spot, decide, test, and act. (I'm a fan of several including First Principles and Inversion Thinking , plus Stoicism, of course).
13. Be willing to say the thing no one else is saying...it doesn't mean you're wrong, and most likely others are thinking it, too.
14. Rather than thinking, "What if I'm wrong?" ask yourself, "What if I'm right?"
15. Decide what's most important to you: Winning the argument or learning a new perspective.
16. Write down all your great ideas and advice you've received (you may want to create a list like this someday)
17. Never close a relationship door...always leave it ajar.
18. Have goals, but also have grace as you pursue them. But don't give yourself a perpetual free pass either.
19. Gratitude comes in all shapes and sizes...ease up on the pressure to have the "right kind"
20. Read and study ancient philosophy (Stoicism is my favorite). You'll be surprised how relevant it is even today.
21. Plan for failure - or rather, plan to not get it right the first time and decide how you'll use that information for the next attempt (the Stoic concept of Premeditatio Malorum).
22. If you "work for yourself" you are working for the hardest boss you've ever had...
23. Hustling doesn't lead to Happiness. Having clearly defined values, a noble purpose, and a plan does...even if it takes 3x as long to make happen.
24. Instead of celebrating the 30 under 30 or 40 under 40, let's recognize those thriving in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond. Most of us are just now figuring it all out.
25. GPAs don't matter in the real world. Critical thinking, mental models, and being able to clearly communicate ideas do.
26. Accept the gift being given (whether physical, verbal, or monetary). Don't rob the joy of giving from the person who wishes to give it.
27. Give generously (and don't let others try and talk you out of it)
28. Pobody's Nerfect (aka Nobody's Perfect - thanks "The Good Place")
29. Don't let your fear of "getting it right" stop you from getting it out there (aka Ship that Sh#t - see, I'm learning...).
30. Even though your parents can drive you crazy, remember they still love you - even though you probably made THEM crazy ages 0-23 (or 44, in my case)
31. Write down your accomplishments every day, even if it was simply taking a shower.
32. Ask people what you're good at...and then LISTEN to their answers. Just because it comes naturally or easily to you doesn't mean it does for others and isn't valuable.
33. Stop overthinking it. Just f@#ckin do it.
34. It's OK if you don't like to cook, or clean, or do whatever other things we're "supposed to" do as women. Own it and say it. Then, find a solution.
35. Don't spend time on activities that don’t: A. Make you curious, B. Challenge You, C. Meet your Time to Effort Ratio. Yes, you "could" do it and are perfectly capable of doing it, but is it actually WORTH YOUR TIME, ENERGY, ATTENTION? Essentially, is it time that is worth it to you?
36. Force yourself to experience discomfort. It's the only way you'll grow and gain greater perspective and appreciation for what you have, what you know, and what you can do next.
37. Wait at least a week before you make a big purchase or decision.
38. Embrace your true self. Stop comparing yourself to others as a way to play small or be critical of yourself. Challenge yourself, yes. Question your inner dialogue, of course. But don't use it as an excuse to retreat or not try.
39. If you're not happy with where you're at, seek advice or mentorship from someone who has or is where you'd like to be—not from those who haven't.
40. College isn't for everyone. Stop making it a requirement for or a measure of supposed success, commitment, intelligence, or skill.
41. Stop waiting for permission to clear a path for your success. Dig and pave your own.
42. Yet, recognize who your allies, cheerleaders, mentors, and guides are - and seek their guidance, celebrate with and thank them continually.
43. Stop feeling as though you're in the way of or "bothering" other people. Each of us has a place, a purpose, a value, and a reason for being here.
44. Label and judge the action, not the person.

BONUS (+1). Breakfast food is anytime food. Period.

What are a few of your own lessons you'd like to share? I will add them to my list!!