41 Things I've learned by the age of 41!

September is my birthday month. I know, I know, we're in October, but with every birthday I do a lot of reflection and this time it took a month. I started thinking about how I feel and what I’ve learned over the years. So I decided to compile a list of things I’ve learned over the course of my life in general and my life as a photographer. They are not in any particular order. Hopefully, you’ll find value in a few of them.

1. 50-year-olds are not old anymore.

Turns out, now that I'm 41, 50 started looking young and vibrant!

2. Do your best to do things right the first time you do them.

Have you ever tried to bring in all the grocery bags at once, only to drop them and end up picking everything up again? My grandma used to say "El vago trabaja dos veces" which translates literally to "Lazy people work twice" truer words have not been uttered.

3. Tell people you love that you love them.

41 is an age when you've already lost people you love. Tell your family and friends you love and appreciate them, and even tell them what you've learned from them. You don't want them to go without knowing how much they mean to you.

4. Learn how to cook.

Trust me on this one. Learn the basics, at least to survive. Despite popular assumption, one cannot live only on Cheetos and Orange Fanta.

5. Be a sponge.

My dad's great advice. Wherever you are, learn as much as you can, you never know what is going to put food on the table.

6. Backup your backup.

This one I learned the really hard way. THREE times I've lost work and memories forever, THREE times! Backup your backup…We are in the age of technology, the year 2015 is the year they came to the future in the Back to the Future movie. Back it up! There is no excuse, and you'll forever regret it if you don't do it.

7. BE NICE, yes, even to strangers.

You never know what some people are going through, so maybe your compliment or your smile is the only nice thing that has happened to them in months.

8. Stand up for yourself.

This one is crucial, I'm not talking about violence. I'm talking about being able to stand up for yourself in the face of injustice, of people taking advantage of you, of asking for that promotion or ask for a raise to reflect what you're worth. When you know your value as a person and as a professional, standing up for yourself becomes easier.

9. Be the bigger person.

Believe me, this one is not easy, this one I’ve learned from my wife, she told me, “We are put on this planet to learn and become better people every day” sometimes becoming better people means you have to be the bigger person and make things right, reach out, apologize, and/or move on. It also means you are an adult and sometimes it is better to be at peace than to be “right.”

10. Make the time to travel.

Not only travel but experience the culture, eat the food, be respectful of how the locals dress, learn a few sentences in the language. People respect you when you respect and value their culture.

11. Listen to your intuition.

Even with the smallest things. If your intuition is telling you to pick up that Lego from the floor, for God’s sake, pick it up, either you are going to step on it or somebody is going to fall down, this one applies to life in general, you get the picture.

12. Save money.

Even if it’s $20 a week, it adds up.

13. Everybody gets 24 hours a day, EVERYBODY.

It’s up to you what you do with those hours, it’s your time on this planet, it’s your time in this life, spend it wisely.

14. Don’t be afraid to talk to people.

We are all human, we all experience many different things but we also all experience so many of the same things. Just keep it real, be nice, be honest, and have a sense of humor, this will help in any situation, from talking to high-end clients, to talking to shy children.

15. Trust yourself.

You know more than you think.

16. Don’t be afraid to try new things.

You will never know if you will end up loving them, but if you don’t, then you gain knowledge of what you like or dislike.

17. Listen to your body.

Your body is wise, it knows what it likes and what it doesn’t like, listen to it. If you get heartburn every time you eat bell peppers, don’t eat them. If you feel stiff, maybe you can benefit from stretching, take a yoga class, and see how it goes. Your body is always telling you what it needs, you just need to listen.

18. Ask for what you want.

The worst that can happen is that they say no, but that no could be a “not right now,” give it some time and ask again.

19. Scarves and earrings are really wonderful.

They can dress up or dress down any outfit and they can take you out of a pinch. One time I used my scarf to add color to the client’s outfit; of course, I asked her if she didn’t mind wearing it; I explained that she was dressed all in black and we were in a dark room, she said yes, and loved the pictures.

20. Photographers! Always have a camera with you.

Even better, have an extra charged battery with you as well.

21. Ask people to take YOUR picture.

You probably go on a trip or to a friend’s birthday party and don’t have pictures that prove you were in those places because you are too busy taking pictures of everybody else or of everything around you. Exist in your photos, people will be happy you ask them.

22. “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” - Seneca.

I had the opportunity to shoot Gloria Steinem, I was told I had 15 minutes, but those 15 ended up being 3:45, at that moment you make it work and all your knowledge aligns to make it happen.

23. Take a break and strive to find balance.

Taking care of your mental health is as important as your physical health. If you are feeling overwhelmed, take some time off, even two hours for yourself can help tremendously. Strive to find a balance between your personal life and your work, this requires a conscious effort; it will make you happier by improving the relationships you have. If you are working a lot, people will miss you, and they want you to be present when you are with them.

24. Learn to think on your feet.

I was helping to put up an exhibit and the lab mounted the wire to hang the pictures on the wrong side of the canvas. I used my key-chain as a screwdriver to dismount the wire and my shoe as a hammer. As the big philosopher, Tim Gunn says: “Make it work!”

25. Be daring!

Life is short, it’s been said a thousand times, but it is still true. So you better hurry up and dare to do the things you want to do. Send that promo, do that series, learn how to swim, jump from a zip-line, buy those earrings. If you want to see things you have to go out first.

26. Do things that scare you.

I was asked to do a photography class for students between the ages of 12-16. That alone scared me a lot, and then they said they were only using cell phones! I said yes, despite my fear of looking foolish in front of teenagers. I showed up, taught them a few techniques and had them shoot their own photos. They ended up loving the class, yay!

27. Call your parents.

If you are lucky enough to have them, talk to them, they love hearing from you, and you’ll love hearing what they’ve been up to.

28. Cultivate your friendships.

My best friend of 23 years said this to me. He yelled at me once because he didn’t know what was going on in my life anymore, he was right. Now I call him every week and I get to yell at him because he doesn’t call me enough.

29. Never stop learning.

Make time to read the books you buy, to watch the online workshops you purchased, or to learn from your peers. I’ve learned that the more you know, the more independent you become. “Only fools know everything.”

30. You only get one body, care for it.

This one I am still learning and incorporating, but I am taking small steps to a healthier life. Walk, dance, do yoga, whatever it is that feels right.

31. Be passionate about your work

Passion is contagious. You never know whom you inspired by doing what you love.

32. Do more work.

Get those ideas out of your notebook and into reality. Create the work you want to see, the work that’s missing, the work that makes your heartbeat.

33. Be GRATEFUL.

I am striving to practice being grateful and thankful every day. It is a difficult practice because we all get blinded by the minutia and the problems we think we have, and often forget what we do have. Take a moment right now and be grateful for your life.

34. Take pride in your work

That means creating high-quality work all the time. Especially when you are volunteering, working pro-bono, or working for yourself. I learned this from my mother, who's been working as a seamstress and a designer since she was 15. She doubled or tripled checked every item of clothing my sisters and I helped her with because it needed to be right. I can still hear her “No hagas chapucerías”, which means “Don’t do a botched job.” This is a woman who once yelled at me because the hemline wasn’t straight in a dress I was making for my doll. That’s work ethic.

35. Good things DON’T come to those who wait.

GREAT things, on the other hand, come to those who work really hard and never quit. Persevere. Keep at it, keep working, keep doing, keep hustling.

36. We all have our own way of processing.

This applies to people coming out, trying new things, learning, speaking up, etc. People have their own way of processing their feelings and emotions and they are allowed to take their time. Have patience.

38. If you have a business, keep posting about it!

Keep promoting your business, even if you don't get one like, people are still watching. If you try a strategy for months and it's not working, then change your strategy, but don't give up.

39. Have self-compassion.

A lot of us were raised to be "the example" or "be the best" and when things are not turning out to our expectations we tend to be hard on ourselves. Have compassion for yourself, would you say the things you say to yourself to your best friend if they were going through a tough time? Love yourself more, because you are the person you spend the most time with.

40. Nobody changes behavior until they get tired of they're own behavior.

When you've gone through life behaving a certain way, it could be eating fast food, not being in shape, comparing yourself to everybody, not loving yourself, not accomplishing your goals, not having goals, it doesn't matter how many of your friends give you advise, how many motivational videos you watch, or even how many life coaches you hire, the fact of the matter is that, if you don't get tired of living a life you don't like, nothing will change. "If you want to change your life, change your life." - Jen Sincero

41. Be Yourself.

It took me 41 years to know what that meant, there were a lot of layers of beliefs that I had to shed before becoming who I am today, and there are probably another hundred I have to shed to become a more authentic me, and then some because the work never stops, we're constantly evolving, we just have to remember to have fun in the process.

“Because you are more authentic the more you resemble what you've dreamed of being.” La Agrado - 

From the movie All About my Mother