?? 404: HR Not Found – The “Sweet Spot” Edition
Deb Haas ????
Helping HR Teams Navigate Change & Simplify Processes | Contract / Project-Based Roles | Facilitator of Work That Works | Stardust with a Heartbeat ?
Where your professional reinvention meets corporate America’s 60-hour workweek identity crisis.
?? This Issue’s Soundtrack: Work B**ch by Britney Spears
Because if you’re gonna be forced back into the office to “collaborate” while wearing noise-canceling headphones, at least have a hype anthem. ??
? Press play before opening another “Can we hop on a quick call?” email: Listen Here
?? Breaking News: Google Discovers the “Sweet Spot” (for Burnout)
The latest memo leak from Sergey Brin, co-founder of Google, has blessed us with his groundbreaking insights:
?? 60-hour workweeks are the “sweet spot” for productivity.
?? Returning to the office is mandatory for success.
?? AI products should be less restrictive - because what could go wrong?
Translation:
?? Work-life balance? A quaint myth from pre-pandemic times.
?? Remote work? For people who don’t “want it bad enough.”
?? AI guardrails? Pfft, let’s just “trust the users” (we saw how well that worked for social media).
?? Next Up from Google: A 100-hour workweek trial where employees live at the office - but don’t worry, they’ll add bean bags and kombucha taps for “culture.”
?? Return to Office: The Corporate Time Machine
Tech companies, led by Google, are on a mission to restore 2010 workplace culture. Why?
?? Productivity theater looks better when executives can see you suffer in real time.
? The office has free coffee. Your house does not.
?? Middle managers need to make sure you “look engaged” while scrolling Slack.
HR promises:
?? “Collaboration will skyrocket!” (read: meetings will triple)
?? “Innovation will flourish!” (read: forced brainstorming with people you avoid)
?? “You’ll build relationships!” (read: Janet from accounting will comment on your lunch every day)
Coming Soon:
?? Hot-desking rebranded as “Flexible Workspaces!”
?? Casual Fridays replaced with “Mandatory Social Hour!”
?? Surprise badge scans to make sure you’re actually there!
Reminder: The only people thrilled about RTO are the ones with corner offices and executive parking spots.
?? The Carolinas Are on Fire – Literally
While corporate America is busy igniting metaphorical dumpster fires, South and North Carolina decided to one-up them with actual wildfires.
?? Hundreds evacuated
?? State of emergency declared
?? Climate change? Never heard of her.
Your company’s response? A resilience webinar and a Slack post that says, “Stay safe, team!” while monitoring your online status for inactivity.
HR Wish List: More actual sustainability efforts, fewer empty “eco-conscious” press releases.
?? The Oscars: Where Fashion and Global Politics Collide
Last night at the Academy Awards, Hollywood gave us a new level of spectacle:
? Timothée Chalamet arrived wearing what can only be described as “Lestat-core.” (Somewhere, a vampire is feeling deeply seen.)
? The teleprompter fought multiple celebrities - and won.
? A-list actors made deeply profound political statements… between brand sponsorship commercials.
The real award? Goes to every person who stayed up to watch it all, knowing they’d still have to log into work at 8 AM sharp.
?? Corporate Problem-Solving: The Worst Idea Wins!
Innovation is hard. But you know what’s easier? Coming up with horrifically bad ideas until something less terrible emerges. Welcome to Corporate Problem-Solving: The Worst Idea Wins.
Here’s how today’s top execs are fixing workplace issues (badly):
? The Burnout Crisis? Mandate “Mindfulness Breaks” - but make them unpaid and track attendance.
? Declining Engagement? Gamify work! Employees earn digital badges instead of raises. Bonus points for logging in after hours.
? Low Retention? Turn PTO into a raffle system! One lucky winner gets a full day off (everyone else gets “the opportunity to grow”).
?? How to Play:
1?? Think of a real workplace problem.
2?? Come up with the worst, most dystopian way to “fix” it.
3?? Now, flip it! Somewhere in that bad idea is a real solution worth testing.
?? Worst Idea of the Month Challenge: Drop yours below. Winner gets… well, nothing. Just like your last “above and beyond” effort at work. ??
?? Closing Thoughts
If you work in HR, People & Culture, or any role where “employee experience” is in your title, you’re carrying a lot right now.
?? Leadership wants bold new ideas - without changing anything.
?? Employees want transparency - but you don’t control the truth.
?? Everyone’s burned out - including you.
You’re not just pushing policies - you’re navigating contradictions.
And some days? It feels impossible.
But listen:
HR isn’t the enemy.
HR isn’t just compliance.
HR isn’t a scapegoat.
HR is people trying to make work suck less for other people - with both hands tied behind their backs.
You’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got.
You’re making real impact in ways that don’t show up on dashboards.
And you deserve more credit than you’ll ever get.
So if no one’s said it lately? I see you.
?? The way you fight for people behind closed doors.
?? The way you push back against bad policies.
?? The way you keep showing up - even when leadership ignores your warnings.
You’re not alone. And this mess? It’s not on you to fix alone.
Find the ones who get it.
Find the ones who fight for what’s right - even when it’s hard.
Find the ones who remind you why you chose this work in the first place.
Until next time - protect your energy, set boundaries with confidence, and don’t let anyone guilt you for not “hustling” harder.
– ?? Deb
?? 404: HR Not Found is fueled by caffeine, corporate absurdity, and the stubborn belief that work shouldn’t feel like a survival game.
I help companies communicate big changes clearly, so employees stay informed, engaged, and committed ? Change Management, Internal, & Executive Communications ? Learn more in my featured section below. ??
3 天前Maybe it's just me, but there have many times when I, the communicator, have pushed back on HR for crappy ideas. Like the time they wanted to launch a reward program that was so poorly designed that I named it Corporate Recognition and Award Program, just for fun.
Hiring Painkiller for Small-midsized businesses to find top talent | Recruiting primarily Professional Services | Secondarily: IT/Engineering Talent - The Christian Hiring Consultant - 425-245-5318 - [email protected]
3 天前Deb - I hope that Google's "research" is not legit and that they're poking fun at something someone said somewhere that one time at band camp - because that assertion is completely ridiculous! I also loved your comments below - companies really are playing the worst idea wins game right now - you couldn't be more right!
Leader Coach + Trainer | People Experience Expert | HR Innovator ............... I am here to create meaningful connections. Please do not connect if you're immediately going to try to sell me something.
3 天前This is the best thing I've read in days! Sometimes it IS hard to remember why I chose this work in the first place. And then I meet a kindred spirit who approaches HR realistically, with empathy and a healthy dose of humor. ?? ??
Helping HR Teams Navigate Change & Simplify Processes | Contract / Project-Based Roles | Facilitator of Work That Works | Stardust with a Heartbeat ?
3 天前?? PROBLEM: Nobody is reading company-wide emails. ?? WORST IDEA: Gamify the Email System! ? Auto-delete emails unless employees score 80% or higher on a pop quiz about the contents. ? Bonus round: CEO’s emails come with jump-scare pop-ups to ensure engagement.
Helping HR Teams Navigate Change & Simplify Processes | Contract / Project-Based Roles | Facilitator of Work That Works | Stardust with a Heartbeat ?
3 天前?? PROBLEM: Budget cuts mean no raises this year. ?? WORST IDEA: Company-branded “Appreciation Bucks” ? Employees earn Company Coins instead of actual money. ? Redeemable for discounted merch no one wants (a $40 hoodie… for only 35 Company Coins!)