40 Things I’ve learned in 40 years

Because it's Mental Health Awareness Week and with me hitting the Big 4-0 this year, I've lived through enough life to honestly say that life can be tough. I've been on a constant path of personal growth and have many times looked like a duck gliding on water, calm on the surface but paddling furiously underneath. And that's what mental health can be, we humans can be very good at hiding the suffering going on inside by putting on a brave face and just getting on with it. Especially us men! 

We need to talk more and share more of our wisdom because although it may feel like it, you're not alone. So I've made a list of some tips and wisdom that I've picked up along my 40 years so far which has helped guide me in times of struggle. This list is not finite, and maybe a little cheesy, but I would like to share despite my many faults. Maybe even at the cost of ignoring No.29, but let's have a go regardless.

1. Life is all about people. Everything we do means nothing if we can’t share it with those we love and care about.
2. Love people and use things, because the other way round just won’t do.
3. We are just temporary custodians of our planet. It’s our duty to leave it a better place for future generations.
4. Get outside as much as possible. Immerse yourself in nature, there’s nothing better for the soul.
5. There will always be shit things that happen. An unexpected bill, the death of a loved one, The X Factor. If we expect that the shit never ever stops, and it doesn’t, we’re in a prepared state of mind to choose how we react to it.
6. If you’re lucky enough to not be born in a slum or suffer from bad health, physical or mental, never complain about life being unfair. The universe very kindly plonked you here on earth. It’s now up to you, don’t waste the opportunity to fulfill your potential.
7. The most valuable resource we have is not money, but time. I’ve certainly wasted a lot of it, it’s perhaps one of my biggest regrets. I plan not to waste anymore.
8. If you can’t make a living doing what you love and are passionate about, make time to indulge in that passion regardless.
9. The past is but a memory and the future does not yet exist. Stop letting your past hold you back and do not fear the future. Focus on what you can do right now in the present.
10. Love yourself and take care of yourself. Not in an ego sense, but in a self-compassionate way. Cut yourself some slack, you’re only human.
11. Stop worrying about what others think about you. They’re not thinking about you. They’re thinking about what others are thinking about them.
12. Surround yourself with genuine people who care about you and whom you care about. Don’t suffer fools gladly because they will strip you of your energy.
13. Life is the sum of your experiences and not the stuff you own. Collect experiences like a bee collecting pollen. It’s vital for you and for life to exist.
14. Find your edge and lean just beyond it. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll see and discover.
15. Read real physical books. They are the closest thing to real magic. In fact, they are pure magic.
16. Listen to real music and not fads. No one pops on a New Kids on the Block album and says “This what I needed right now.” Real music stands the test of time. You’re going to go download Hangin’ Tough now, aren’t you?
17. Walk. Go for walks as much as you can. Walking activates the genius in everyone. It’s the only time I can really think clearly.
18. Money is not money, it’s life force. What do I mean? Well, work out your hourly wage after income tax. So your yearly salary divided by how many hours you work, minus income tax, this equals your hourly wage. For example, your hourly wage is ￡25. Knowing this, the next time you’re about to spend ￡100, think of it as though you are spending 4 hours of your life. Does that change the way you look at your purchase? Are you willing to trade 4 hours of your life for that widget?
19. On the subject of spending money, invest in the biggest and most comfortable bed you can afford. This is a wise investment and worth exchanging some life force for. After all, we spend so much time in bed, it’s totally worth it.
20. Without sounding dark about things, never walk away from the person you love with the harsh words you exchanged ringing in your ears. How much would that suck if that was the last thing you both heard from each other?
21. I have found that I operate so much better if my living environment is minimal, functional and beautiful. Get rid of clutter, find or make a proper place for things, display art that lifts your soul, less is more, enlighten all your senses, and keep it clean and tidy as much as you can. Your home is supposed to be a sanctuary. Look after it.
22. Focus on the essential and eliminate the rest.
23. Try and become really good at one thing.
24. Slow down and view the world as an artist, photographer, filmmaker, musician or writer. Let the world around you inspire your creativity. Notice the beauty others are too busy to notice. You may surprise yourself.
25. The more value you offer the world, the more you’ll reap the benefits, which will be more than just money.
26. Travel when you can. Emerge yourself in cultures other than your own. Taste foods you’ve never tried before. There’s a whole world outside your personal lens.
27. Support your local community however you can. Whether it’s through volunteering or contributing with your talent or just even cold hard cash.
28. Strive to improve yourself. We have the ability to constantly grow and evolve. Is your outlook on life any different from 10 or 20 years ago? You bet it is. Hopefully, you’re wiser and kinder. Don’t stand still or you’ll atrophy.
29. If you ask the question to yourself “Should I post this to social media?” Then your default answer should be “No.” But don’t let that stop you from sharing your creativity or something of value out of fear. That tactic is to help stop you posting something you’ll regret or that might come back to bite you in the arse.
30. Laugh as much as possible. I love watching stand-up. Laughter is medicine for the soul like coffee is for functioning in the morning.
31. If you don’t set the agenda for your own life, others will set the agenda for you, regardless of supporting your well-being.
32. If it takes less then a minute to do, just do it. It’s amazing how productive you’ll be.
33. Create the identity of whom you want to be and you will find that new habits will form to live up to that identity. Vice Versa.
34. It’s the many small things we do consistently every day that shape who we are, whether good or bad. Don’t neglect the power of tiny habits. They work like compound interest.
35. Be kind to people that cross your path. Even if they’re rude to you. Be Stoic in your response. You never know what they’re going through. Your kindness might just make a difference.
36. Be kind and patient with children. If they’ve done wrong, explain to them why it’s wrong. Help them to choose the positive alternatives.
37. Never accept anything as fact on face value. Ask the questions “Is it true?” “What’s their agenda?” “What are the alternatives?” and “What has my own experience taught me?”
38. Don’t get caught up in the drama of life. It will strip you of your energy. Will your social media comment really make a difference? I doubt it.
39. If you can afford it, get a regular professional massage.
40. All we have in the end is our story, so live a good one.

Thanks for indulging me and reading this. What would you add to this list? Comments below.

Cheers,

Morgan