40 Things I’ve Learned at 40: Love, Work, and Life

Turning 40 is often seen as a milestone, a moment of reflection, and sometimes, a crisis. But for me, it feels like a version 4.0 upgrade—a shift in perspective, priorities, and purpose.

Over the past four decades, I’ve lived in different countries, embraced a nomadic lifestyle, built businesses, loved, lost, and learned. And through it all, I’ve gathered lessons—some hard-earned, some gifted by time.

Here are 40 things I’ve realized at 40, across love, work, and life.

Love & Relationships ??

1. Being single is not being alone. True loneliness is being in the wrong relationship.
2. Love is not about finding the perfect person but about building something real with an imperfect one. A true partnership #MatchMeIfYouCan
3. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Self-love isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
4. People don’t change unless they want to. Hoping someone will be different with time thanks to you is setting yourself up for disappointment. #nursesyndrom
5. The right person won’t be confused about you. If you have to convince them, they’re not the one.
6. Friendship is the foundation of the best relationships. Passion fades; deep bonds last.
7. Love languages aren’t just for couples. They apply to friendships, family, and even how you treat yourself.
8. Time is the most valuable love language. The people who prioritize you are the ones who matter most.
9. Self-awareness shapes relationships. The better you know your patterns and needs, the healthier your connections.
10. Chemistry ignites, but compatibility sustains. Shared values and emotional security build lasting love.

Work & Success ??

1. Money is a tool, not a goal. Use it to create freedom, not just accumulate more.
2. The most valuable asset is time. You can always make more money, but never more time.
3. Your job is what you do, not who you are. Identity should not be tied to a title.
4. Success is personal. Define it on your terms, not society’s. Be authentic and do you, it will attract the right people.
5. Burnout is not a badge of honor. Rest is part of the process, not the enemy of progress.
6. You don’t need a five-year plan. Clarity comes from action, not overthinking.
7. Imposter syndrome never fully disappears. The trick is to move forward anyway.
8. Networking is just making friends with people who share your vision. Choose business partners with shared values #MatchMeIfYouCan
9. The people you surround yourself with define your trajectory. Energy is contagious—choose wisely.
10. Saying "no" creates space for the right opportunities. Success comes from focus, not overcommitment.

Life & Growth ??

1. Your 20s are for experimenting, your 30s for building, and your 40s for living. At 40 you know yourself what works and what doesn't for you
2. Freedom comes from letting go of what no longer serves you. That includes habits, relationships, and even cities.
3. There’s no single "right" way to live. Some people settle down, some wander forever. Both are valid.
4. Travel doesn’t solve everything. Your problems will follow you, even to paradise. Trust the process and enjoy the journey
5. Fear is a terrible decision-maker. If your only reason for staying is fear, it’s time to leave.
6. No one has it all figured out. The people who seem like they do are just better at pretending.
7. Comparison is the thief of joy. Your only competition is yesterday’s version of you.
8. It’s okay to change your mind. You’re not the same person you were ten years ago—why should your dreams be?
9. You don’t need permission to rewrite your story. Just start.
10. Aging is a privilege. Not everyone gets to turn 40, so embrace it.

Mindset & Well-being ??

1. Your body will remind you that you’re not 25 anymore. Listen to it.
2. Alcohol isn’t as fun as it used to be. And hangovers last longer.
3. Happiness is an inside job. No partner, job, or location will fix what’s unresolved within you.
4. Mornings set the tone for your day. A solid morning routine changes everything. (still working on that)
5. Therapy isn’t for the broken; it’s for the evolving. And it's not only reserved to women?
6. Movement is medicine. You don’t need to run a marathon, but you do need to move daily.
7. Resting is productive. Doing nothing is sometimes the best thing you can do.
8. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your questions. Ask better ones?
9. Peace is the ultimate flex. When you stop engaging in unnecessary drama, life becomes lighter.
10. The best is still ahead. Life doesn’t peak at 30. Or 40. Or ever—unless you decide it does.

If I had to sum up what I’ve learned in theses decades, it’s this:

• Chase experiences, not things.
• Prioritize people, not status.
• Seek peace, not approval.

Everyone has their own timeline and unique path—I’ve stopped comparing myself to others. I’m also learning to surround myself with those who inspire me and to stop draining my energy on old bad habits.

At (almost) 40, I feel more myself than ever—more true to myself, more intentional, more free.

I still feel a bit lost sometimes in my career because I want to do so many things—headhunting, training, matchmaking (business, travel, love), writing a book… But I trust that I’ll find what suits me. More importantly, I know I no longer want to work with—or be surrounded by—people who aren’t aligned with my new self.

I respect myself too much for that. And I owe it to my younger self—who did all these things, took all those risks, and shaped the person I am today.

If this is what aging feels like, I welcome the years ahead.

?? Which of these lessons resonates with you the most? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Let’s talk about the lessons that shape us, at every stage of life.

#LifeLessons #Turning40in40days #Growth