40 Life Lessons at 40 years old

Today is my 40th Birthday - and to mark the occasion, I compiled a list of 40 things I've learned over the past four decades. Let's dive in:

Philosophy

1. The ancients have a lot of wisdom to offer; be discerning, but there many clear insights that are relevant millennia after millennia

2. "The Law Teaches" is an incredibly subtle but transformational insight about policymaking

3. I used to go crazy with inconsistency and hypocrisy in political leaders. In the end, the simplest explanation is often the best: decisionmakers "reward their friends and punish their enemies." Things makes more sense now.

4. The Success Sequence is real: Finish high school, get a good job, marry, then have kids. In that order.

5. The best way to find an organization you wish you were a part of is to build it

6. In general, humans optimize for social status, not wealth

Faith

7. Jesus was right

8. Being part of a faith community drives bonds and robust social networks rarely replicated in society

9. Finding a spouse who believes what you do makes life so much easier

Relationships

10. Who you surround yourself determines your fate - find those who influence you to level up

11. 95+ percent of people have good intentions most of the time. Trust everyone until they prove otherwise. If they violate that trust, never trust them again (even after forgiving them). Over the long run, the benefits of trust far outweigh the costs.

12. Forgiveness and mercy are the most powerful, if difficult, choices to make if you want a better and more serene life.

13. Don't second guess obvious, incontrovertible signals. Kiss the girl already.

14. All things being equal, even after a bad breakup, it's pretty cool when your ex thinks highly enough of you to introduce you to your future wife. Avoid burning bridges when at all possible.

Family

15. Marrying and having lots of kids early in one's life is underappreciated by modern society

16. Investing in Thanksgiving 2045 has far better ROI than whatever the equivalent compounded 401k balance would be

17. To understand persuasion and frame control, observe a 3 year old daughter manipulating her combat tested dad

18. Heritage matters. My great grandmother and great aunt paved the way in advancing education in our family. My love of aviation was sealed by the bravery of my Great Uncle's 5 years in the Hanoi Hilton and Grandfather's WWII combat record.

Education

19. Formal schooling teaches us there are defined answers to nearly every problem; in the real world, the most difficult and interesting problems have no obvious solution

20. Kids should be taught personal finance, personal fitness, the science of healthy eating, and persuasion in high school by experienced practitioners, not officially sanctioned teachers

21. I learned more about business in the first two months at 麦肯锡 than two years at Stanford University Graduate School of Business . And I learned more in two months of running a company than I did in 2 years at McKinsey. Doing is the best teacher.

22. At 40, I realize how much I have yet to learn, how mistaken previous beliefs and assumptions I had were, and how far I've come.

Professional

23. A military officer takes an Oath to the Constitution. That's it. Which means the status quo can be challenged, and indeed, there is an obligation to challenge it constructively, and often.

24. I once had a high paying job where I was consistently burned out, stressed, and passionless with likely clinical depression. Within 2 months of taking a job at half the pay but aligned with my personal goals I was cured of all my mental health issues.

25. When you break down weeping more than three times over a three month period, it's probably time to find a new job.

26. Perfect optimization is useful until catastrophe happens - and catastrophes almost always happen at some point. Slack is important.

27. Taking action on even the smallest first step in a seemingly insurmountable problem creates a virtuous cycle of getting hard things done

28. Speed of execution often surpasses accuracy of execution

29. Create more than you consume

30. Don't be afraid to consistently be on the losing side of 45-1 votes in the University Student Senate. Years later, people remember people standing on principle rather than popularity.

31. The hand written note is a superpower in the digital age

Finances

32. The best risk adjusted way to build wealth is thru real estate

33. Outside real estate, you should invest in index funds and forget everything else fancy including individual stocks

34. I continue to act in ways that deviate from the above lessons to my long term financial detriment because it's "fun" and I might "get rich quick"

35. Wealth and life satisfaction is relative to those who are in your peer circles. Absolute $$ in the bank matters up to a point, but it quickly becomes comparative

36. Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy freedom (if you choose to exercise it), which is more valuable anyway.

37. Spending money for quality is almost never a bad choice

Fitness

38. The "popular" sports like football and basketball are hard to keep going past your early 30s. Finding a cycling, running, or swimming habit lasts a lifetime.

39. It's okay to stop drinking, even socially. Drinking sparkling water is a remarkably suitable substitute.

40. Knowing how to eat right is very different than actually doing it. It's hard to break addictions to sugar and fried foods.

Bonus

And finally, as a bonus, I've come to embrace that I am a work in progress. The journey really does matter as much, if not more, than the end.