40 lessons at 40

I turn 40 tomorrow and wrote up these thoughts.  

1. Last summer I got a chance to meet Art Williams, one of my business heroes. (Here is also one of my favorite YouTube’s of all time. Art in his prime.) When I talked to Art, he told me he imagines everyone he meets with a sign around their neck that says "make me feel special.” He said it doesn't matter if it is a CEO, janitor, or a kid, everyone wants to feel special. 

2. If you are on the fence of going to a funeral or if someone is sick, always choose to show up. I always regret the ones I didn't go to. 

3.   For my entire life, my Dad (an oral surgeon) calls his patients every single night to check on them and if he knows them, he goes to their house. My brothers and I just grew up thinking this was normal.

4. Peter Diamandis' is one of the premier thinkers in Silicon Valley. He started X-Prize and runs Singularity. He teaches all over the world and tells his students he has found that the answer to these 2 questions is the purpose of their life. ( #1 As a child, what did you want to be when you grow up? #2. If you had a billion dollars and had to go to work tomorrow, where would you go to?) For me, #1 Weatherman, #2 Community Builder.

5. When you get chill bumps, try to focus on what you are doing and do more of those experiences. 

6. Handwrite notes to people in your life and tell them that you really care about them. 

7. When a once a in a lifetime opportunity arises, you have to find a way to do it. The universe wants you to take that chance. 

8. Kids don't care about anything except spending TIME with them. They just want you to look them in the eyes, listen and play with them 

9. Try to go outside everyday and take 10 long breaths and be grateful for being you. 

10. The older I get, the more I want to hang with old people and hear their stories. 

11. I am pretty sure teachers and nurses (my Mom) are the real heroes on earth. 

12. "Everyone you meet knows something that you don't." -Bill Nye 

13. Always stop and buy the lemonade from the kids on the side of the road.

14.  I got a chance to meet Mark Cuban and I asked him about Dirk Nowitzki, one of the all-time leading scorers in the NBA. He told me, "For 17 years Dirk has been the first person in the gym and the last one to leave every single practice.”

15. You have to sell out to listening to podcasts and books. Right now in your pocket you have the most successful people on earth telling you their exact steps and giving you the playbook. Never in the history of the world could you get this type of instant access to this type information. 

16. No video game or time on social media has ever produced a memory.  

17. "The team that wants it the most will win," Buddy Anderson. (High school coach and coach with most wins in Alabama football)  The older I get the more this is truer with any any group of people. 

18. Standing on patio in Scottsdale, AZ during a wedding shower for Kelly and I, someone told us that the key to their marriage was "putting the other’s needs before yourself.”

19. Bad news doesn’t get better with time, so avoiding giving that feedback only adds stress to your life.

20. When you turn 40, you will be the average of your 3 best friends.

21. A NCAA college basketball coach once told me that in life you have to go out on top.

22. Adam Grant talks about 3 types of people in life, Givers, Takers, and Matchers. Try to be a giver expecting nothing in return.  

23. Zach Wamp told me once that, "Weston is the better version of me.” Kelly and I believe this about our kids and tell them the same thing. 

24. The way to a wife's heart is loading the dishes and getting out the vacuum.

25. "Actions speak so loudly, I can't hear what you are saying". Allan Davis's favorite quote

26. Teenagers need to have jobs that are very hard. I learned a lot about life through waiting tables and cleaning gas station bathrooms. Serving others is maybe the most important skill to learn.

27. Malcolm Gladwell talks about the principle that 10,000 hours of "deliberate practice" are needed to become world-class in any field. 

 28. My great friend Jeff Eckert told me to always be concentrating on which hat per hour I was wearing. Am I wearing my $800 an hour, my $80 or my $8. Too many times we are focused on $8 an hour hats.  

29. "If you don't toot your own horn, no one else will" Jim Large told me that when we started Access America.

30. God is always talking to us, we just aren't listening.

31. "Not how successful you are, but the obstacles you overcame.” I think about this one a lot. I am the luckiest person I know - perfect parents, loyal brothers, countless mentors, awesome business partners, unbelievable wife and amazing kids.  So many people have defied so much more than I have.

32. Grant Cardone has really challenged my thinking to 10x my goals.  Whatever you think, you can do multiple by 10 and start to envision crazy stuff. You will be shocked by what you can achieve. 

33. “Make your job your hobby and you will never work a day in your life.” -Charles Calvin Alling 

34. An 80 year old mentor told me that the older he gets the more gray things really become. 

35. “Kids meet the expectations you set for them." -From the book Smartest kids on the planet 

36. "A good dog is a tired dog.” -Kelly Alling 

37. Your kids are not going to be in the NFL, MLB, or NBA. Focus them on reading. 

38. Help your kids to pursue what "makes their heart sing.” 

39. My Dad's fishing group is called the Trashmen and their motto is "If it's good that's great. If it's bad, it’s even better.” Basically spin everything into a positive and you will never have a bad day. 

40. Kelly is always right about everything. (shhh. Don't tell her.) I am so serious about this one. My wife's gut instincts on people, decisions, kids are always right. I still don't know why or how she said “yes” to me 17 years ago. I feel so fortunate to have a life partner that has so many incredible attributes. I am so excited about our next 40 years together.