This Is 40: Key Advice for a Younger Me

On January 12, 2024, I will be 40 years old.

The year leading up to this milestone hasn’t been an easy one. I’ve waged battles both publicly and privately. I’ve celebrated career highlights and downright lows – as I sit and type this, I’m four days removed from being laid off from full-time employment. I’ve been equal parts unsure, focused, terrified, delighted, exhilarated, and drained. As such, I embrace 2024 and the “dreaded” age of 40 with open eyes, mind, and heart, excited to begin a new chapter.

But with that renewed focus on the future as the BIG 4-O approaches, I can’t quite help but reflect on the last two decades – the years that forged the career that’s gotten me to this point. What would I tell that 20-year-old kid who was just starting to get his first bylines for UConn’s student newspaper, The Daily Campus, and was beginning to get a sense of where he wanted his life to go?

So let me take a moment and sit that kid in a Star Wars T-shirt down – as I wear a Star Wars T-shirt myself – and relay the 10 pieces of advice that might benefit him.

1.????? Yes, You’re Losing Your Hair. Own It

No, the mirror’s not playing tricks on you – that hairline is receding. Eventually, you’re going to decide to shave your head completely and being bald will be a positive and core piece of your personality. Let this be a lesson to you: Embrace change. Most of your closest friends at 39 will have never even known you with hair, and neither will your wife.

2.????? Chase What Excites You

They say that if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. Yeah, I don’t buy it either. But that feeling you get by writing, performing, and making people laugh? That’s satisfaction. Seek it out. This extends to the places where you work, too. Remember how much fun WWF/E was in high school? Taking that offer to work there will ultimately shape your career, and it’s going to be an exciting ride well worth the chase.

3.????? If it Doesn’t Feel Right, it Probably Isn’t

Conversely, there will be opportunities that come along that won’t feel right, whether that’s right away or weeks later. You’re going to get that funny feeling that tells you to run. I didn’t always heed this advice and regretted it. Don’t do what I did.

4.????? Don’t Let Disappointment Break You

Whether it’s the story pitch that gets shot down, the project that falls through, or the job that ends abruptly, there will be times in your life when you will feel like you’ve failed. In fact, you might want to brace for a lot of things that happen after March of 2020. You’re going to feel undervalued, confused, scared and, at worse, worthless. All those feelings are valid, but so are the skills you worked so hard to cultivate, the personal and professional goals you have reached, and the network of support you have built for yourself. Use all of those to pull yourself up and keep going.

5.????? Celebrate Your Wins

Spoiler Alert: You’re going to become an Emmy Award winner! Yes, the actual statue will be sitting in your living room. You’ll trick yourself into thinking you don’t deserve it. You’ll try to keep it to yourself. But you will and you shouldn’t.

6.????? Learn from Your Losses

Remember how I said you shouldn’t let disappointment break you? You should remember, Younger James, it was two topics ago. The thing about losses is that there’s always something you can extract from them to set yourself up for future success. Was that social media post a dud? Maybe the copy wasn’t captivating enough. Did that project fall behind? Maybe you could have communicated expectations and deadlines more clearly. Whatever it is, consider those “losses” a chance to learn how to do it better the next time.

7.????? Don’t Be Afraid of New Technology

You might be confused about that “social media post” line above, 20-year-old college student James. But yes, that new “Facebook” thing you’ve been messing around with is the start of something BIG and it’s going to be a major, critical part of your life. Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat and, yes, LinkedIn, are going to be your best friends and your greatest enemies. You’ll also get to know ChatGPT, Slack, Monday.com, Khoros, Drupal, Twitch, Kick, Whatnot, Shopify and other platforms that are still more than a decade away from where you are now. BeReal, well, you’ll forget about that one pretty quickly. But in any event, there will be lots of new technology thrown at you on a seemingly constant basis. Don’t be intimidated. It’s all here to help.

8.????? (Almost) Everything Happens for a Reason

There’s a cliché that “everything happens for a reason.” It’s nice to think that way, isn’t it? That even horrible things have a purpose that benefits a greater good somehow. But that’s not always the case – even in the corporate world. Sometimes, a social post goes viral (James, this means that a lot of people share it) because it randomly hits the algorithm juuuust right. Sometimes bad employees get promoted while good employees stagnate. Sometimes good ideas die for no reason at all while questionable ideas flourish. Just as you’ll learn to let go of the things you cannot control, so too will you see that, sometimes, things just happen that don’t fit into a cosmic, master plan. They just are.

9.????? Prioritize Your Physical and Mental Health

This is a big one. At 20 years old, you’re probably feeling invincible (aside from the hair loss, naturally). You’re going to embrace “hustle culture.” You’re going to consistently get the urge to put your career ahead of family, your personal life, and your health. This will ultimately and unfortunately catch up with you at times. You’re going to find yourself mentally unavailable during family functions. You’re going to dread going into work on Monday as early as Saturday morning. You’re going to ignore ailments because you don’t want to miss work. You’re going to lose time with loved ones that you’ll never get back, and you will begin to blame yourself for it. Or, you can commit NOW to put yourself, your family and your friends first. Make those plans. Take that call. Book that appointment and develop a relationship with your doctor so you can take charge of your health. If you need help, ask for help. Jobs come and go, but we only have one you.

10.? Be Yourself

This is an obvious one, right? Not necessarily. You’re a unique kid, and you’ve got a lot of interests and passions that aren’t exactly considered “cool” among your friends at UConn. You like comic books. You collect action figures. You play loads of single-player video games. You’ll be tempted in the next few years to change who you are and what you care about. This would be a mistake. Firstly, nerds are about to take over the world (there will be more Star Wars and Marvel TV shows and movies than you will have time to watch). Secondly, you’re going to surround yourself with an amazing community of like-minded people who will form some of your strongest personal and professional relationships. And of your career highlights, finding those people will be among the greatest.

?

James Wortman is a writer, editor, and digital content director. He can be reached at [email protected].