40 Days Before 40

40 days before my 40th birthday, I am entitled to "Saturn's Hole" and the crisis of the middle age, as well as I have the official right to grieve for my youth, which I refuse. Today is exactly 40 days before my 40th birthday and I feel better than ever, more myself than ever, more aware than at any other age.

I know quite a few people around me, mostly ladies, who have experienced at least one of the three or all three crises on the eve or around their 40th birthday, which comes to show that you are already on the other side. It reminds us that no matter how good the quality of our lives, we are certainly in the second half of the adventure called “Life”. It seems normal to have thoughts about what was invested and received, juxtaposing dreams and realities, analyzing what was imagined, and what actually happened. And it is probably normal to have many discrepancies, but this is the charm of “Being”.

After all, the Universe likes to joke with us and to remind us that there are other forces that sometimes hinder us, sometimes help us, but time always proves that everything is for our own good.

I look forward to my birthday. Last year I had a big celebration, knowing that this year I must follow the tradition and the superstitious belief not to celebrate 40. Why? Because 40 days after birth and 40 days after death, we are neither here nor there - wherever “there” is. Consequently, the 40th birthday carries the symbolism of this "neither here, nor there", being the symbolic middle of the Way. Where I will be - I do not know. The past months have disciplined us all and brought us up to live day by day. It seems that for the first time I agree with this "no plan" plan.

You are lucky at 40 if you have met the most important person on this Earth - yourself. You are happy if you have learned the most important thing - what charges you and what discharges you - food, people, events, happenings, love, emotions, work, and environment. At 40, you are satisfied if you realize that “Life” is a game without winners and losers. A game of studying and learning, of trials and experiences, of testing boundaries and limits, of meaning and reasoning. A scale in which joy and sadness, laughter and tears, love and loneliness are weighed. Exactly in the contrasts, we find the greatest beauty, as after a storm there is a rainbow.

I am fortunate to have very young parents. Through their experiences, I have come to know a lot, and with this maturity, I continue to live vicariously through them, despite our comparatively small generational age gap. We are more friends than parents and a daughter! I remember that my father persistently warned me not to go to extremes - neither for love, nor for other trivial things such as work, for example. There were times when I listened to him, and times when I didn't, because “who is going to live the extremes!?” It is not important what happens to you, but how you react to the events that happen. Some lessons we learn at once, others with a little more pain and effort. Some things we "hear" instantly, others after 20 years.

I learned a lot from my mother too in these 40 years - that you understand some things only when you become a mother, that history repeats itself and that not everything is innovative.

I learned from both of them that you are most happy when you have loved and been loved, and even happier when you are loving and are loved - in the present time. Because there is nothing more important than here and now, than today, because yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery.

Today I analyze my life’s balance sheet, and concluded that 40 is not scary, on the contrary - a wonderful blessing, because I can consciously thank and state these 40 things:

1. Two wonderful children affectionately call me their mother.

2. Both my parents are alive, healthy, next to me, and ready to jump like lions to protect me from any danger in the jungle of “Life.”

3. Two sisters and one brother will be my companions in the next 40.

4. I have loved and have been loved.

5. I am loving and am loved.

6. I know a lot about myself, but I know that nothing is certain except change, which requires that I keep learning about myself.

7. I developed an incredible curiosity about human nature and about unraveling it with all its peculiarities, beauties, mutations, and changes.

8. I realized that all religions and teachings lead to one thing - balance.

9. It is not important what you eat, but what eats you from within.

10. Still, what you eat at the age of 25-30 repays you at the age of 35-40.

11. Willpower must be nurtured every day.

12. A healthy body is a hungry body.

13. A child seeks a child’s company, a person seeks the company of another person - we are social creatures and we need communication, connections, and relationships.

14. Not all relationships are useful, but they are all necessary lessons.

15. Excellence only leads to more excellence.

16. There is nothing more beautiful than the kiss between the night and day at sunrise and the kiss between the day and the night at sunset.

17. The directions of the world are 7:

1.East

2.West

3.North

4.South

5.Up

6.Down

7. Inwards to self

18. There are paths, roads, and highways in life - everyone chooses where to drive.

19. The most important question is “Who drives the car of your life?” (no matter which way).

20. Medicine can work wonders, but the greatest miracles are in the mind.

21. Doing what you love and loving what you do is equal to 8-9 hours of happiness daily.

22. Neither the material nor the spiritual lead to complete happiness. The balance does.

23. Hell could be Heaven and Heaven could be Hell, depending on who you are with.

24. Every day is a gift, part magic,  part enchantment, and always a chance.

25. Our relationships are our mirror.

26. Lifelong learning is not just a concept, but the only way to make sense of the next 40.

27. At 40, you know your body better than ever. However, sport is important. Maybe without abs, but not without fitness.

28. Everything passes. And this will pass too.

29. Health alone is a good enough reason for complete happiness. A day without pain is a happy day.

30. A smile is the most universal language, the most universal key, the most universal excuse, and the strongest asset.

31. Swings bring joy to life.

32. Music has the power to heal, change moods, and create inspiration.

33. The eyes love the views beyond the horizon of the phone, the ears love the sound of the waves and the voices of the loved ones next to you. The soul rejoices at the Rila Lakes, and the skin shivers from the real, most important things.

34. There is no sweeter smell than the smell of a baby and there is no sweeter hug than that from a children's hands.

35. Knowledge without understanding, listening without hearing, and looking without seeing do not make sense.

36. Life without friends is sadly empty.

37. The most beautiful clothes are your favorite clothes.

38. The Universe listens and hears everything.

39. The heart has its own life and senses. It is good to listen to it because it knows best.

40. Love will really save the world.

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