#5 What’s age got to do with it?

I’m so thrilled to introduce you all to Alliyah Logan. Alliyah is the epitome of an advocate - focusing on safety in communities, education equity and international gender equality. She is a Connector, Speaker, Writer and Advocate - she is also one hell of a moderator (someone put this girl on the news!) Not only is she still leading and supporting her peers at Girl Up, she is also a leader at Youth Over Guns, has been an advocate for UNICEF, and is a contributor to Parade Media. She is passionate, curious, dedicated and super fun to hang out with.

For February, I asked Alliyah - what do YOU want to talk about? Here’s our conversation (and the tweet that inspired it):

To Alliyah: You are nineteen. From where I sit, you are in the prime of your youth. How does age factor into your life today? How do you think about your youth and this moment of your life?

My age has a significant factor in my life. With the advocacy work that I am able to do, I always think about what success means in my respective field, as well as in an academic setting. I used to find myself often comparing my accomplishments to other people in my age range. Saying phrases like: “I should be featured in this article” or “I should have a higher following” and “I should have everything figured out.” I came to the realization in 2020, after being alone with myself for long hours that this idea of success was not sustainable. If I continued to compare and analyze everything everyone in my age range has done, I would never be happy… and I found that my end goal was to have happiness as the center of my success. So I changed the way I thought. I now understand that success and happiness are on a wide spectrum that can be accomplished with small steps that give my life meaning. I wish I could stay young forever, and stay in this current state of my body. I can’t and I’ve been setting intentional and meaningful goals to help myself in the future. These goals are separated by different subjects like my spiritual well-being, financial well-being, education well being, and fitness well-being.??

To Melissa: You were part of Fortune’s 2020 40 Under 40. How do you feel about 40 Under, 30 Under lists? How do you think about age and youth today?

I love this tweet and the idea behind it. I also think it’s so interesting that you already feel the pressure to be so much while still so young. I was just barely 39.5 at the time which created a weird sense of a ticking clock, like I was sliding in right before my youth card ran out, before it was too late for me to do something special for being “under 40”. We all love to be inspired and these lists are an awesome source, but there’s also no deadline for greatness and no age when you are too old to make a difference. I am smarter one year older, and I hope that continues. Forbes just launched a 50 over 50 list of powerful women. I love that we are also starting to celebrate lifelong commitments to success. It’s not like we are out of time and we can just give up when we hit a certain age… despite what all the mainstream-everything wants us to believe!

To Alliyah: Age provides us with different considerations in different phases of our lives. How do you think your age affects big and little decisions you are making or considering today?

In 2020, I was the most successful that I have been but I also was not a well-rounded person that has the same values I do now. So I used 2020, and 2021 as a way to give myself a break. Now, I am dedicating 2022 to making mistakes and putting myself out there. In comparison, if I was in an older age range I would not allow myself to make the same mistakes that I am making now. At my age, people believe that we have to be perfect, but older generations give us the space to make choices that may have a drastic impact on our lives. Older people are not awarded that same grace. This idea doubles down with women, and who society expects to be and remain in their prime years.?

To Melissa: How has this played out for you - as I anticipate it, how have you experienced it?

In my experience youth does give us more time – more time to make mistakes but also more time to wait things out before making a decision to change. That has played out both ways for me in my career. I was at my first job for six months and my second job for nine months. I made quick decisions that helped me move into better experiences. My third job I was in for eight years. Mistakes don’t have a huge impact in those early years, so it can be easy to be “on to the next thing”. On the flip side, I also have had challenging circumstances to overcome, and one in particular where I gave myself one year to see an opportunity through. That was enough time for something to change and if it didn’t, it was just a year. I was at a point in my career where that year was worth it - worth it to be able to put on my resume and worth it to know that I had given it everything I had, no regrets. It turned out to be worth the wait, as ten and a half years later, I’m still here at Girl Up and I wouldn’t change that for anything!!

To Alliyah: What is something you wish your elders knew about young people today?

I think that elders should know that we are all different. I have seen many generalizations for my generation where elders will assume that we all have the same attitude towards topics. I was raised in a way to respect elders, especially considering the line of work that I do. I want them to see the young energy that we have and use more of that in their own lives. I think elders are making the majority of the decisions as world leaders, so I would prefer them to lead with compassion and with my generation’s livelihood in mind.?

To Melissa: What is something you have learned from young people that has shaped you as an adult?

I learned that we are all experts in our own lived experiences, right now, no matter how many years we’ve been living them. I’ve learned to value and trust that experience. My life hasn’t looked like yours, so I trust your experience on issues that impact you. I don’t actually know better. I have also learned that some things really are urgent. When you all feel the crushing urgency of the world’s most complex issues, there is no good reason to wait to listen to you until you grow up – it will likely be too late then. All of our lives and livelihoods depend on the decisions we are ALL making today. I want all the voices, all the ages, all the people in on the solutions!

To Alliyah: What is something you look to elders to keep learning?

I look to keep learning about how to organize for gender equality efficiently. The stories of elders around the world hold so many gems. I would want to hear more from them and understand how they saw the world. I think that the cycle of life is scary but one that is so beautiful. When you have interpersonal connections with various types of people you are able to learn so much about culture and knowledge that can never be captured by textbooks. I’ll continue looking to elders on healing methods, advocacy, and overall knowledge of the world.?

To Melissa: What advice do you have for me as I stand in the center of my youth and look to my future?

You do have time to make mistakes. Please don’t try to be perfect. There’s no such thing. We have no idea where the next step will take us, but as long as we take the step, make the move, make the mistake, we will keep moving toward our destiny. Whether we are 20, 40 or over 50 when we reach it. Speak up and make us all listen. There is time for mistakes but there is no time for inaction.

For all of you, from Alliyah and me - listen to our youth, and don’t over glamourize it. Our youth cannot be expected to come in and save the day - not without our partnership. We are still in this, holding power, making decisions that impact their lives too. We can do it together and throughout all stages and ages in our lives.?

When did you feel pressure around your age? Did it help you or hold you back?