4 Ways to Shore Up Your Emotional Reserves During Times of Chaos

In the northern hemisphere, spring is fully here; summer is just around the corner. The early tulips and daffodils have come and gone as other flowers are starting their spectacular show. This is the typical rebirth and renewal we expect at this time of year.

As the ground and the flowers start to open up, so are parts of the world slowly re-opening in the age of the pandemic. Though the relaxing of restrictions are welcome, we know it may only be temporary as new information about COVID arrives on a regular basis, forcing us to adapt yet again. 

This constant adaptation is challenging. The most resilient among us continually make adjustments (Guardrail #7 of Personal Disruption is Be Driven By Discovery), but that doesn't mean the constant adaptations aren't emotionally exhausting. 

Relatively few of us are first responders on the overtaxed frontlines of the healthcare battle, but all of us are needed as first responders to the need for emotional support of others. The need exists in every industry and economic sector. We all need connection, and the opportunity to give and get support in the abnormal new normal of deep uncertainty and the fearful specter of a pandemic.

I recently wrote an article with Amy Humble, WLJ Advisors' President, for the Harvard Business Review. In it, we share how as executive coaches we think about how to help our clients maximize mental health resources. Here are some thoughts from that article on how to shore up your mental health and deepen your own emotional reservoir:

1. Start with self-care.

We can’t be of service to others if we are not functioning well ourselves. The critical starting point is to take an honest look at your own mental health temperature. How am I doing, really? What behaviors are helpful, which are not, or even detrimental?

Follow-up with a plan. One of the best ways to manage through times of chaos is to anchor yourself in routine. Exercise, get enough sleep, limit bad food—the basics are critical. Do not become obsessed with the news or the stock market, unless you like emotional rollercoasters.

Turning off for a while on Netflix is fine, but for long-term mental health getting your brain mentally engaged is critical. Pursue your hobbies, read, write, self-reflect, use technology to stay in touch with family and friends, whatever works for you.

2. Ask for help when you need it.

And you will need it. Even the strongest leaders need support. If you don’t ask for that support, the need for it will be revealed in ways that don’t serve you.

Speaking from experience, either your resent-o-meter will spike, or you will find yourself holding grudges, being unkind and ungenerous in unexpected moments — often to the people who you most care about. So, don’t hesitate to ask for help right now. This can be from partners, parents, kids, friends, clergy, and others close to us.

Remember, practicing self-care doesn’t mean being self-centered. One of the best ways to lift your mood is to encourage, support, and love others. We have seen numerous examples of people helping people during this pandemic.

3.    Ask others, “How are you?”

One of the biggest social niceties in which we all partake in is the exchange: “How are you?” “I’m fine.” Then we get on with business. This is especially true when most of our life is spent on Zoom meetings. 

Now is the time to stop and really get an answer to that question, as nothing is routine these days. Everyone is experiencing grief, trauma, and concern and needs other people to talk to. We need to be heard.

4.    Look for the positive and say it aloud.

There is something rather profound about honest praise. It can really change a person’s day and make them feel recognized. For a number of reasons - some conscious, some not — many of us are a little sparse with complements.

The temptation to withhold can increase when we experience feelings of scarcity—which people are feeling right now. If you see something good, speak up. Now is the time. If you think people around you—colleagues, subordinates, superiors, friends, family— could not possibly need support from you right now, you’re likely wrong.

Express appreciation, give compliments, and call out triumphs, no matter how small. If you see something good, speak up. This is not to be a Pollyanna, rather be honest about encouragement and your enthusiasm.

We still have a long, hard path to get through this pandemic. But doing our best to manage the toll it takes on our mental and emotional health will make it easier to ride out the coming ups and downs. What steps are you willing to take, starting now?

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Whitney Johnson is the founder and CEO of WLJ Advisors, a boutique consultancy that helps leaders and the people they work with become fluent in the language of growth. Whitney is one of the leading management thinkers in the world, according to Thinkers50, the author of the bestselling Build an A Team and critically-acclaimed Disrupt Yourself, both published by Harvard Business Press. She is a world-class keynote speaker, frequent lecturer for Harvard Business School's Corporate Learning and an advisor to CEOs. She is a member of the original cohort of Dr. Marshall Goldsmith's 100 Coaches, and was selected as MG100 / Thinkers50 #1 Coach on Talent. Whitney has 1.8 million followers on LinkedIn, where she was selected as a Top Voice in 2018, and her course on Fundamentals of Entrepreneurship has been viewed more than 1 million times.?