4 Ways Helping Others Leads to Success (In College and Beyond)

Research shows that helping others leads to professional success. But, pretend you’re a college student - what could you possibly do for others?

Imagine that you’ve just finished reading Give and Take, a book about how helping others accelerates your own career. You loved it. You’re excited about radical giving. And you just drank a bit too much coffee.

You’re about to start giving. Right. Now.

You flip open a list of your friends. You scan it, looking for a chance to help out.

“What about John?” you ask. “He needs help looking for a job!”

So, you begin to wonder: “How can I help John?”

You start thinking. You’re trying to remember someone who’s had a job. But you’re just a sophomore. You don’t know anyone who’s actually employed.

After five minutes, you begin stroking your early signs of facial hair. Your mind wanders. You start wondering if your mustache and beard will ever connect.

You’re stuck. How could you possibly help John out?

“No worries,” you think. “Let’s look for someone else.”

Again, you flip open the list. You scan, looking for someone else to help.

“What about Emily? She’s looking to do research this semester!”

Again, you rack your head trying to think of a connection. You don’t know any professors in need of a helping hand. But, perhaps one of your teaching assistants does!

Excited, you email your biology section leader. Could they possibly be looking for help outside of class?

You eagerly await their reply. One day passes. Then two. Finally, you get a response.

“No.”

Oof. Again, you’re back at square one. Third time’s the charm, you think, opening up your list of friends once more.

But this time, you’re frustrated--even dubious--of the research in Give and Take. Sure, it’s easy for a professor to help out others. They have connections. They have power. They have sage wisdom spewing from their mouth.

What do you have? You’re just a student.

You close your list of friends.

You want to be a giver. You also want facial hair. But, you know you’ll have to wait.

What Students Can Do

Students, like professionals, want to help others, but they fear they have too little to give. Most students don’t have powerful connections, life experience, or wealth. Most students don’t even have a microwave. A scarcity of resources can make all this advice about giving feel hollow.

Fortunately, there are ways to give that do not require wealth, social capital, or experience. As Greg Foster and I explore in our upcoming book Your Relationship GPA (June 24), there are a few practical ways students can help now.

The Gift Of Gratitude

One great way to give is to show appreciation.

In a study at Harvard Business School, researchers asked fifty-three students to give feedback on the cover letter of a fictitious student named Eric. In one condition, Eric replied with a short, “I received your feedback on my cover letter.” In the other condition, Eric replied, “I received your feedback on my cover letter. Thank you so much! I am really grateful.” In the no-gratitude condition, only twenty-five percent of student felt a greater sense of self-worth after helping. In the “thank you” condition, fifty-five percent reported feeling more self-worth. By explicitly thanking someone, you can increase the psychological reward they receive. The gift of gratitude costs you almost nothing and can inspire those around you to give more.

Showing gratitude to others doesn’t only help them--it also helps yourself. In a follow up study, researchers asked students in both the grateful and ungrateful conditions whether they would help another student with a cover letter. More than double the number of students in the grateful condition said they would help, compared to those in the ungrateful condition. By showing gratitude to others, you make them more likely to help. This isn’t too surprising, but it’s very easy to forget. After every interaction, make sure you follow up with a quick “thanks.”

To make gratefulness part of your routine, try creating a weekly “day of gratitude.” Every week, set aside an hour to write thank-you or birthday cards to those around you. Interestingly, research shows that “chunking” your acts of giving (i.e. doing all of your helping one day a week vs. over multiple days) improves your underlying happiness more. Happiness, in turn, helps maintain motivation, and in the long run, allows you to give more effectively.

And don’t reserve your gratitude for your superiors alone; show it to nearly everyone in your life. If someone helped you out with homework, send them a quick message saying “thank you.” At the end of the year, write a thank-you to your professors. Is there a member of staff who works at your dormitory? Make sure they feel appreciated with a quick card. Giving thanks is one of the fastest and cheapest ways to give, so go wild.

Care Packages

Parents are famous for sending heartwarming care packages throughout college. If you’ve been lucky enough to have received a cardboard box of love, then you know how warm and unique it can make you feel.

Sadly, not everyone receives care packages. You cannot rely on a friend’s distant parents to show them love after a rough test, breakup, or cheesecake combustion during a baking competition. You can, however, walk to the store and fill up a bag with their favorite popcorn, trail mix, chocolates, caffeine, movie, pillows, and more. Cap it off with the most ridiculous card you can find or draw.

Once you've assembled the package, you can drop it off at their door. For added benefit, assault the door with sticky notes containing inside jokes and other relevant messages.

Creating a care package can take as little as half an hour. The gift might be the most meaningful thing they received that month. This is such a powerful form of giving that it could almost be considered selfish. According to Scientific America, in reference to a 2006 study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, “brains seem to suggest that the joy of being a gift giver may eclipse that of being its recipient.” Not only can giving a care package be the perfect pick-me-up for a friend in need, but it can also be the perfect thing to do when you yourself are feeling down.

Help Others With School Work

Thursday night in a Harvard dining hall is a scary, scary place. Many math and science courses have homework due on Friday. As a consequence, dozens of students crowd around tables; eyes grow bleary; desperation sets in.

Have you ever felt like this? If so, you might also know the powerful love you suddenly feel towards strangers who offer help. One way to give in college is to stick around after you’ve finished your work. After completing the assignment, you no longer face the same deadline, and you know how best to attack the problems. By spending thirty minutes with a group, you could save them dozens of combined hours that night.

But you don’t have to stop there. Be proactive with helping. Share your notes. Seek out friends who bombed the last test. Sit next to someone having trouble in lecture. (If you’re also having trouble, even better.) Make sure they know that you’re with them through whatever wrath the class might bring.

Introduce Friends

Perhaps you’ve made new friends after forming alliances against difficult homework assignments. Then you realize, while chugging a lukewarm Red Bull at 4:00 AM in the morning, that two of your new friends share a passion for hiking - but they’ve never met each other!

One of the easiest ways to give is to introduce friends. If you notice that two people have a similar interest, connect them. Send them a quick message saying why you think they should meet. Make sure you show appreciation in the note as well.

For example:

Hey Winnie,

Have you met Tigger? He’s one of my best friends on campus. He’s cheerful, outgoing, and has a stunning vertical jump. He also loves to go on adventures in the forest. I know you were looking for a tree-climbing companion, so I thought I’d put you in touch.

Hey Tigger, I’d like to (electronically) introduce you to Winnie. Winnie (called “Pooh” by friends) is a really close friend of mine. He’s thoughtful, caring, and loves honey. He’s also a big adventurer - something that I know you like. I know you wanted to spend more time with friends off-campus. So, I thought I’d put you in touch.

Hope you guys get the chance to talk.
-Kanga

Why Giving Is About Attitude, Not Privilege

You might not have the experience, wealth, or sheer amount of physical property as those older than you (with the notable exception of the beer can pyramid in your room). But giving is so much less about what you have and so much more about who you are.  Thoughtfulness, intentionality, and self-sacrifice are among the things that students have to give. In this regard, we’re no different from anyone else.  

Stephen Turban is a senior at Harvard College and the co-author of Your Relationship GPA. To stay updated with his writings, click here.  

Edited by LinkedIn Campus Editor Yehong Zhu. #StudentVoices