4 Ways to Combat ‘Imposter Syndrome’ and Embrace All You Have to Offer

As you probably know by now, I’m passionate about advancing women in leadership and spend a lot of time mentoring others. So, I thought the start of Women’s History Month was the perfect time to talk about celebrating women while tackling a challenge that often prevents us from celebrating ourselves. While this isn’t always limited to women, I have observed this topic discussed more frequently among this population. That it’s almost as though there’s hesitation in recognizing our successes or we convince ourselves that what we’ve accomplished is by luck.

Now, I talk a lot about confidence – and that’s something I try to project professionally. However, a theme I’ve noticed lately, especially in these mentoring sessions with women who are working to advance their careers or have taken on roles of increased responsibility, is this theme of Imposter Syndrome.

While they haven’t always called it that specifically, it points to the same traits: a feeling of self-doubt and incompetence despite your education, experience and accomplishments.

You Might Have Experienced Imposter Syndrome at Some Point…

Have you ever achieved a goal, but felt like you didn’t quite deserve it? That you accomplished it by luck? Or found yourself in the “right place at the right time?”

No doubt you’ve felt this way at various points in your life. Virtually everyone has.

The reality is this affects people regardless of demographics, age or stature. Particularly among those who overthink or strive for flawlessness, which is where imposter syndrome can rear its ugly head. Women tend to be particularly prone to this phenomenon of self-doubt and second guessing. And in our “always-on” social media-ubiquitous world, the pressures to be “perfect” are more intense than ever.

The impossible standards we set for ourselves can seem inescapable – and imposter syndrome feeds on this.

So, how do you know if it’s happening to you? Here are a two examples people have come to me with recently – one from a big life change, the other a more everyday situation.

• Starting a new job. Those first several months can be really tough – learning countless sets of new responsibilities, meeting several new people (while attempting to make a good first impression), and navigating the nuances of organizational culture. There is a reason they call it “drinking from the firehose.” It can feel overwhelming. That is dry tinder for fueling imposter syndrome.
• Being unsure if you “belong” in the conversation, or if you should have a seat at the table. Recently a colleague shared that they hesitated to reply to an email I sent because I copied another leader, even though they had a clear perspective around the subject. This individual was not sure it was “their place” to respond. That’s nonsense. Reply if you have something valuable to say. Don’t second guess yourself or allow that type of doubt to manifest.

How to Convince Yourself You’re NOT an Imposter

Here’s the sobering reality: you are never going to eliminate the tendency to feel this way. It can sometimes be human nature. What you CAN learn to do is put your feelings into perspective. Below are four tips on how to do that:

1.?Talk about it. Tell people how you are feeling. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed. Be honest and you will find others can relate. Not only will they likely share their own experiences of feeling inadequate, but they will also no doubt affirm that what you are feeling has no basis in reality. They will remind you of what makes you great, that you are worthy. This can be a very powerful first step as it is a great confidence boost for those in need of hearing the "you are not alone" message.

2. Practice self-affirmation. Sure, it can feel great to have others remind you of how fabulous you are, but you can also do this yourself. When you feel that imposter syndrome creeping in, stop and take inventory of your accomplishments and qualifications. Literally write them down or say them out loud to yourself. You will be amazed at how impressive you really are. Listen and believe in yourself in that moment.

I have a special email folder that goes back 16 years, storing all of the accolades and notes of encouragement I’ve received throughout my professional career. Having that file available at my fingertips has proven time and again to be an incredible morale booster when I’ve needed it most.

3. Celebrate yourself. Beyond self-affirmation, be intentional about celebrating yourself and all you’ve accomplished. At those inflection points when you are feeling self-doubt, take a step back and do something to recognize your past accomplishments such as treating yourself to a dinner at your favorite restaurant. Defeat imposter syndrome by practicing self-care. You can also include those individuals who have helped get you to where you are today, such as your personal board of advisors . The more the merrier in celebrating the amazing person you are.

4.?Don’t hesitate. Don’t let imposter syndrome steal your dreams or deflate your confidence. In other words, the second you hesitate to take on a new challenge or responsibility because you feel “unworthy” or that you’re not sure you can do it (even though deep down you know you can), you let imposter syndrome win. Grab that opportunity. Don’t fear failure. In the end, not taking a chance on something you want and believe in is so much worse than that initial fleeting feeling of lacking confidence.

I wish I could say these feelings disappear as you grow in your career. While it’s not something you can outgrow, it does get better by learning to control your thoughts, grounding yourself in the facts and using the tools above to remind yourself of your value and worth. It’s all about learning to manage imposter syndrome when it creeps into your thinking so you can promptly kick it to the curb.?