The 4 Types of Linkedin Influencers and how to be one.

Linkedin has ~675 Million users. India alone counts for ~65+ Million users. These users are usually the professional working class and the entrepreneurial class. That makes Linkedin one of the most powerful mediums on the planet. More powerful than newspapers, Television and Radio. More powerful than God itself. Okay, I think I went overboard. Less powerful than God, but the most powerful thing otherwise.

As I was sipping Tea at the top of a mountain looking at the scenery through my aviators, I was thinking about the most important question of them all. This question has been asked by all the major thinkers in human history. Socrates, Plato, Jefferson, Kant, Nietzche, Einstein, and people who put evangelist on their Linkedin Bio. The question is as simple and as straight forward it can be :

“What are the key influencer segments of LinkedIn users that can be targeted to increase monetization of daily and weekly sessions which will then be used to show a bunch of stats which can then be used to get ad revenue which will then show even more stats, driving this perpetual motion machine ?”

Okay. Not so simple. I can't help that even the most basic thoughts that flutter across my mind are sophisticated thoughts. In layman terms –

“ what are the different types of influencers in LinkedIn”

This question was important, so I dedicated a significant portion of 15 mins to this question and conducted extensive research and deployed ML algorithms to hunt for data within indexed data architectures to arrive at concurrently meaningful information. In other words. I googled for about 4 to 7 mins.

Using this mountain of research, I now declare that there are 4 types of influencers in LinkedIn

1. The Storytellers

All of us know this type. They are one of the most important types and deservedly so. The human mind struggles to comprehend complex and factual information. It is boring. That is why we like narratives. Stories. That helps us progress and keep going (eg. India 2020..etc). These storyteller types squeeze every neuron of theirs to break down complex truth into simple stories.

They typically post a story or two a day. They are usually thematic to the current news environment. For eg. Pre-COVID, they would post stories about meeting a Cab driver who is also a Ph.D. in arts who also speaks British English who then proceeds to advise on climate change during the cab ride. Post-COVID you cant meet Cab drivers, so they will post stories about their house help, security guards..etc. If the lockdown has gone on for more time, they would have started learning life lessons from dish-washing liquid and floor mops.

2. The Human Resource preachers

Preachers is an understatement. I am trying to think of a better term. What were those knights who got on the boat and went about trying to convert everyone they see to their religion called? I think it was Crusaders. But I think the crusaders ultimately failed. HR preachers cant fail. Won't fail.

Every post of theirs is a humble submission to their benevolence, to their kindness, to their grace. We are the sheep and them our shepherds. They guide us towards the eternal light. Their appraisal mechanisms are their sermons and the HR policy is their bible. The performance feedback is our judgment day. If you dare have the audacity to question the posts and the process,

I have only one question “ Ask now what HR can do for you, instead ask yourselves, how much of a pay cut can you take? “.

I eagerly wait for the post in which an HR manager cured an employee and his family of COVID. 

3. The Recruiters :

There is a German folklore about the story of a Pied Piper. A mysterious character who can make animals or people follow him wherever he wanted to take them by enchanting them with his flute. Recruiters are the pied pipers of Linkedin. They enchant us with their hashtags and CTC figures and make us comment “Yes” in almost every post they post.

After I comment “Yes, I am interested”, I sometimes think “did I just apply to be a firefighter in Saudi Arabia?”, but then I stop thinking. You cant think on Linkedin. That’s dangerous. I sometimes wonder how will the recruiter find my “Yes” from the 17000 people who had commented “Yes”. But then I remember the story of the pied piper leading all the rats out of the German town. The pied piper knew names of all those rats right?

Conclusion

If you were a sharp observer, you would have noted I said there were 4 types of people on Linkedin. I lied. That is your punishment for trying to find logic and seeking rationale in Linkedin posts