4 Things you’re Probably Doing that Erode Trust with those you Lead!

As leaders, there are 4 things we do that erode trust with our teams. Allow me to share this list with you as well as a personal story about how I committed ALL 4 of these WITH ONE PERSON!?

I had the privilege of promoting someone into a director-level, business development position—a significant leap for her, as the level of responsibility far surpassed anything she had previously encountered. To support her in this new role, along with weekly meetings to check in with her and help her succeed, I hired a consultant to help her navigate the challenges of the role.?

As time went on, I noticed a decline in her performance. Rather than becoming more forthcoming about her struggles and engaging in open communication, she became increasingly guarded, leading to multiple missed deadlines, and a few other issues.

I eventually had to make the difficult decision to let her go, believing that she may not possess the necessary skills to fulfill the demands of the position. It wasn't until I attended a recent seminar that I looked back on our journey and had a profound realization—I had unwittingly committed all four trust-eroding behaviors with her during that one year period. The worst part, I hadn’t done it just once. I did it a lot.

At the time, I genuinely believed I was providing valuable assistance and demonstrating unwavering support for her success. However, in hindsight, I now understand that my actions inadvertently undermined her capabilities. Instead of empowering her, I imposed my own methods, fixed her mistakes without offering constructive feedback, and eventually took over projects I deemed beyond her skill set.

Looking back, I am acutely aware of the erosion of trust between us. She no longer perceived me as a supportive ally who genuinely wanted her to excel in her role.

Here are the 4 things you’re doing to erode trust in those we lead:

1. Sympathizing: Sympathizing happens when issues arise and we put our emotional equity into the situation, instead of staying on our side of the emotional fence. Phrases like “oh man, you’re a goner,” or “that is horrible. You really should give up.” Sympathizing can also often show up as pity.
2. Advising: Giving someone the answer without allowing them to work through to find a solution
3. Fixing: Fixing can show up when someone makes a mistake, and instead of having them go back and correct it, we simply say “I’ll just take care of it this time.” Eventually, this time turns into next time, until you’re finally fixing every mistake. When this happens, it’s almost impossible to go back and offer feedback, because it’s been going on too long without repair.
4. Rescuing: Rescuing happens most often when we, as leaders, perceive that a job or task is too difficult for someone, and we just step in and do it going forward. I’ve done this most often with phrases like “This client is hard to deal with, so I’ll deal with them from now on.” Essentially, you’re saying to your team member “You don’t have the capability to do this, so I’m going to do it for you.

Now I know you’re asking, “Meg, what can I do differently so this doesn’t happen to me?” That’s a great question. Here are 4 things you can do instead to make sure you’re putting deposits into that trust bank with your team members

1. Empathize instead of sympathize: Share that you understand the situation and have been there, without getting on the emotional train that allows them to remain a victim to their circumstances. Empower them.
2. Allowing space to solve the problem: Giving advice is easy, but it removes a key element of growth in allowing someone the time and space to effectively solve the problem through their own thoughts and capabilities. Be available for discussion of ideas, but avoid giving the answer
3. Allow them to fix their mistakes: We are ALL going to make mistakes. We’re human. By allowing our people to fix their mistakes and not taking on their responsibility, it empowers them to know about it in the future, and also avoids adding extra responsibilities to your plate as a leader. Ideally, they’ll be more aware of what to do in the future
4. Believe in their ability to get the job done: AND come alongside as a supportive ear WITHOUT jumping in to fix or rescue.

Trust is a subtle yet crucial element of office dynamics, often unrecognized until its absence becomes painfully evident. As leaders, it is essential to view trust as a valuable currency, with every interaction either depositing or withdrawing from the trust bank. Trust is a delicate currency that can be granted with ease, shattered in an instant, and frequently proves challenging to restore to its original state.

Join us for our free monthly Making Shift Happen call (Friday, June 16th at noon (ct) https://www.eventbrite.com/e/649209522157

Mission Squared Chief Consultant Meg Poag is delivering a series of monthly calls for Executives, Leaders and anyone that leads people in any way. Join us for these valuable talks on tools and methods that you can use immediately to start your journey to better leadership. See below for more details.

Join us during our next live call - “Making Shift Happen” - it’s where she shares 4 things you’re probably doing that erode trust with those you lead! Learn how to identify it as its happening and shift back in to place of empowerment!

This call is for:

• Executives Struggling With Business Relationships
• HR Leaders Looking to Make Better Decisions
• Producing Hyper-Productive Team