Four Steps to Level Up Your Associations

Your associations are one of the most powerful influences that determine whether you will stick to your goals or get forever derailed.

Dr. David McClelland of Harvard University concluded after 25 years of research that the choice of a negative “reference group” was in itself enough to condemn a person to failure and underachievement in life. Whoa! Scary, isn’t it?

His discovery indicates that your reference group is more important in determining your success or failure than any other single factor.

Your associations don’t shove you in a direction; they nudge you ever so slightly over time. Influence is so subtle that it is like being on an inner tube out in the ocean; you feel like you are floating still, until you look up and realize the subtle current has pushed you half a mile down the shore.

Jim Rohn explains:

“You will become the combined average of the five people you hang around the most. You will have the combined attitude, health and income of these five people.”

In your journal or on a separate piece of paper, I am going to have you do something very frightening: I want you to determine the five people you hang around the most and then total up the numbers. You will see clearly that the company you are keeping might be what's standing between you and what you want to achieve.

Sound harsh? Sometimes the truth is harsh. Yet, I know you already know this. How do I know? Because you vigilantly guard with whom your children associate. (You do, don’t you?) Why? Because you know they will become like those they hang out with.

This isn’t just true for your kids—it’s true for you, too!

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.” —Mark Twain

If you are really going to go for it, if you’re going to reach, stretch and do things you’ve never done before, if you are going to be able to achieve things you’ve never achieved before, you will need to reappraise and reprioritize the people you surround yourself with. These relationships can nurture you, starve you or keep you stuck.

Jim Rohn taught me that it’s powerful to evaluate and organize your associations into three categories: dissociations, limited associations and expanded associations.

Before I send you off to work on this, let me break down the steps you will need to take to level up your support system:

Disassociate: There are some people you might need to break away from completely. Think of your children: What friend(s) do you have that if you were your own parent, you wouldn’t let yourself hang around because of their influence? Cut them loose.

This might not be an easy step to take, but it’s essential. You have to make the hard choice not to let certain negative influences affect you anymore. Decide the quality of life you want, and then surround yourself with the people who represent and support that vision.

“Don’t join an easy crowd. Go where the challenge is great and the emotions are high. Go where the expectations are so strong that they provoke you, push you and urgently insist that you not remain in one place. That way, you will grow and change.” —Jim Rohn

Limit Associations: There are some people who you can spend three hours with, but not three days. Others you can spend three minutes with, but not three hours. Remember, the influence of associations is both powerful and subtle. You get a deposit of the dominant attitudes, actions and behaviors of the people you spend your time with.

Decide how much you can “afford” to be influenced, based on how those people represent themselves. This is difficult, I know. I have had to do this on several occasions, even with close family members. I will not, however, allow someone else’s actions or attitudes to have an indelible influence on me.

“If you want to fly with the eagles you can’t continue to scratch with the turkeys.” —Zig Ziglar

Expand Associations: Whatever area of your life you want to see improvement in, find someone who represents the success you want—the parenting skills you want, the relationship you want, the lifestyle you want—and spend more time with those people. Join organizations, businesses and health clubs where these people are and make friends with them. Create a circle of excellence by purposefully selecting those with whom you will surround yourself.

One of the best ways to expand your associations is through our DarrenDaily morning mentor chats. For just five minutes a day, five days a week, I will help you level up your success and transform the trajectory of your life. There are people from all over the world going through this process with you. It's a global community of like-minded people dedicated to a common purpose: living a life of excellence. Subscribe today and start building your library of expanded associations: DarrenDaily.com

Invest in Mentorship: Isn’t it interesting that the top performers in the world have the highest-paid coaches and trainers? Which comes first? I can prove getting the top trainers, coaches and mentors comes before achieving breakthrough performance. Having people who push you to excel is critical, regardless of how successful you are. That’s why those at the top still invest heavily in their trainers and coaches. You can never pay too much for someone’s well-earned experience and guidance. They give you the advantage of the shortcuts they’ve discovered. Their road map identifies the landmines so you can avoid them. Their hard-earned wisdom can help you accelerate your growth.

You’re never too good for a mentor or coach. During my interview with Harvey Mackay, he told me, “I’ve had 20 coaches, if you can believe it. And that’s not a typo. I have a speech coach, I have a writing coach, I have a humor coach, I’ve got a language coach, and on and on.” And he’s a top achiever, respected business leader and best-selling author!

That's another reason why I created DarrenDaily- to give you access to world-class mentoring on a daily basis. To expose you to the 20+ years accumulated mentorship I've received and to have an outlet to pass on my expertise to you, your friends, family and co-workers. I’d love to see this go viral as this is my gift to all of you. It’s what I call my “give back” program… My way of helping more people compound and multiply their success through small, consistent daily improvements.

Are you courageous enough to make the necessary changes to your associations? Go to DarrenDaily.com to access the resource that is going to give you the fuel you need to keep you going all year… and all decade.

Your Daily Mentor,

-Darren

#BetterEveryDay